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Corruption? in DC? You’re kidding, right?

Roughly 25% of all purchases by the District government this year were unauthorized or part of no-bid contracts. $425M out of $2.5B. This is my favorite part of the article:

“We screwed up,” said Anthony F. Pompa, head of accounting for Chief Financial Officer Natwar M. Gandhi, when he was shown hundreds of millions of dollars in unauthorized checks.

Yeah. Screwed up. $425M. Screwed up. People ought to lose their jobs over this sort of thing. Will they? Not unless we hold their feet to the fire.

Now, while some of that is for services for which the District does not have contracts (why doesn’t it have contracts? Not really all that clear, is it? Sure am glad I might be forced to pay taxes to these guys.), and Natwar Gandhi’s quote makes it look awfully rosy:

“I will be damned if a child is without textbooks or an AIDS patient is without medicine just because some bureaucrat did not file the paperwork right.”

What’s really frustrating to me is the no-bid contracts situation. Apparently, so long as you publish your schedule of fees, bidding is not required. Never mind that this sort of thing increases costs, on average 39% for the nation. The big trick here is the “direct voucher”, which works like a signed blank check. Take that puppy to the bank and cash it, and the money’s yours, with little or no city accountability or oversight. DC’s apparently one of the few cities in the country that does it this way, where most others gave it up a while back due to the sort of problems that this can lead to.

The article is lengthy, but worth a read. While the District may be running a nice surplus this year, wouldn’t you rather have that money back so you can use it better?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Borf: I am a Monumental Retard

If you live in DC, chances are that you’ve seen Borf’s work.

Chances are, though, that you’re a helluva lot smarter than him.

See, if you had a court date, where you were, say, accused of stabbing someone, would you show up covered in blood?

No. You would not.

Borf, however, felt it necessary to show up in court in a coat and pants covered in paint:

Four months after his arrest, the accused graffiti outlaw known as Borf showed up for a court hearing in an unfortunate choice of attire: His coat, pants and shoes were all stained with paint. His black coat so resembled the one he wore in a newspaper feature about his exploits that the judge declared it evidence and ordered him to hand it over to the prosecution.

Seriously, if you’re his lawyer, do you quit right there?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Sweet Potato Saviour

I feel so lucky. I’m staying home in DC for Thanksgiving. No traveling for me (Phew! How did I manage that?).

Judging from the amount of people I just saw at the P Street Whole Foods, I’m not the only one. Though not the grand chaos that it will be later on today, it was starting to get packed when I arrived at 12pm, having skipped out of my tumbleweed-strewn office to pick up the necessary ingredients for the side dish I’ve been charged to make – Chipotle Smashed Sweet Potatoes.

Like me and the harried locals at Whole Foods, you may also be a serious procrastinator and just now panicking over what to make and how to get out of the store with the least amount of pain. So here’s my Thanksgiving gift to you, a guide to sweet potato saviourdom:

Enter the P Street Whole Foods. Grab a basket. Dead ahead are the bins of yams – don’t waste time arguing with yourself or the old lady next to you about whether yams are really sweet potatoes or vice versa – you’re on a mission!. Grab about five nicely sized ones. Dash two aisles over to “Latin Cuisine” and pick up two cans of Chipotle Peppers in Adobe Sauce – pay no attention to the man who just slammed into you with his oversized cart, there’s no time for sharp-tongued revenge! Now, do you have unsalted butter at home? Do you?? Can’t answer fast enough, hit the dairy shelf for a box. Now, restrain the almost overwhelming urge to pick up any of the special cheese or wine they have littering the aisles around the dairy (it’s hard, I know, so hard) and make a beeline for the checkout. Take the path of least resistance – usually this means the cosmetics aisle. Having successfully made it to checkout, wait as patiently as possible while other idiots in line waste your time. Relax, deep breaths. You did it, you’re almost out. Pay, depart, and congratulate yourself. All in all, five mintues and under $15.

Oh yeah, the recipe! Tomorrow – wash, peel, cube, steam, and mash the sweet potatoes. Dice chipotle peppers and add with adobe sauce to taste (wimpy to flamethrower – whatever you want). Mix. Serve and be proclaimed “The Sweet Potato Saviour.”

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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And the Chaos Begins

For those hoping for a quick exit from DC today, good luck. A tanker truck caught on fire on I-95 between DC and Baltimore already this morning. AP reported that:

Traffic was snarled around the nation’s capital early Wednesday after a tanker truck carrying 8,700 gallons of gasoline exploded on Interstate 95 on one of the busiest travel days of the year.
The truck driver was able to escape unharmed after he noticed one of his rear wheels burning as he headed south from Baltimore around 5 a.m. EST.

The driver escaped unharmed, eh? Yeah, only because he ran into the bushes and hid till the cops came. I’d think if he had that fire at 5pm, he’d be tossed into the flames by those stuck behind him.

Also noted in the article is the newest name for Friendship Airport. I still think the folks responsible for the tongue-twisting “Baltimore Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport” should be tossed into the flames of the next truck fire. At least they didn’t desecrate it like our other two airports – naming it after CIA Directors or Alzheimers Presidents.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Taking the Post to New Heights

I love the Washington Post, it’s a fantastic newspaper. It’s definitive on so many issues that make it an awful lot of fun to read, simply because you don’t just learn “the news” but also what’s going on behind the news. Take a look, now, at The Post Remix (or mashingtonpost.com as they call it), which is a blog on what people are doing with Post content, as well as to talk about Post APIs that are on their way toward public consumption. I love that some papers are opening up their content to be used with APIs. The first entry has a couple of cool pieces that use WaPo API content:

Ripped from the Headlines, a news quiz built each day from the Post’s online edition, and a geographic representation of stories, split by continent.

It would be awesome to see a Google or Yahoo Maps mashup with WaPo stories…who’s up for a challenge?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Unsung Heroes

It’s the day before Thanksgiving (as if you didn’t know that!), a time that shouldn’t be just gut-busting consumption but also a time to gratefully reflect… so I thought I might kick it off with an ode to four unsung heroes of my day.

1) The crosswalk guard at the corner of 11th and S. This fearless lady is out there every morning striking fear into the hearts of recklessly fast drivers as she makes the intersection safe for the schoolkids of Garrison Elementary. She does it all with a smile and a wave for everyone and never seems to be in a bad mood, no matter how many drivers try to get past her eagle eye. They never suceed, and the kids are always safe.

2) The most dedicated Metrobus driver on the road, piloting the last 66 bus to get downtown before 9am. This gentleman is always cheerful, always helpful, and his passengers are happy to carry on the conversations he starts with ease and grace. A civilized way to start the day.

3) The long-suffering janitor in my building. He’s still here, even after that disgusting incident. He deserves more from his tenants.

4) The red-coated BID representative usually patrolling the block around Metro Center and my building. I don’t know how many clueless tourists he’s directed or panicked lost business people he’s calmed with a smile. Almost every night I pass him on my way to the bus stop home, and every time there’s a smile and a “good night honey.”

Seeing these four people almost every day makes me feel a little better, knowing there are still people in this city for whom civility and kindness matter. Cheers folks, you’re my unsung heroes.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Naked Guy Jumps From 15th St Building

If you were sitting at the security desk an saw a guy walk by without shoes on a cold day, would you ask questions? I might.

The guy at the security desk at the building at 15th and K started to do just that. Except the guy ran for the elevator, made it to the 8th floor, took off all his clothes, then broke the window and jumped.

This one is just wacky. Way too much questions. We’ll keep you up to date on the answers, though.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Welcome Vancouver!

Welcome to the newest Metblog, and one of the further from us, Vancouver! Tempting indeed to go out and ski at Whistler, but for now, I’ll welcome them from afar!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Men offering more than Butterstick viewings

While you’re surfing Craigslist for Butterstick passes, don’t forget to check out the personals. There you can find a man who will give you more than a pass for your Rosy Palms and her five sisters. We’re talking literate men who can express themselves, like this 4,000 word manifesto about your & his “jobs” in this relationship. Here’s a snippet of his brilliance:

Now in exchange for me doing my job well and keeping our relationship alive and well, you will have to do your part as well. If one of us fails to perform his/her role, the arrangement crumbles and I become an asshole and/or you become a nagging bitch. I know. I have seen it on TV, in the grocery store on a Saturday morning, in restaurants etc… It’s all around us. All the couples fighting – where you can just feel their bitter energy and you know they are doomed – that

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Aubernica

Local Wizards Blog Wizznutzz may be as crazy as their name suggests, but damned if that ain’t my kind of crazy.

Aubernica

We’re coming up on a year after the crazy Ron Artest riot in the stands, and Wizznutzz has drawn up the awesome Aubernica remix of the Picasso classic.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Okay, now that’s just wrong.

Apparently, the panda tickets are so valuable, they’re now being traded for sexual favors. Sadly, the original Craig’s List ad was taken down by the community, but Wonkette was already there (how’d she find the ad? I’ll leave that to your imagination…), and boy is it depraved:

If you can get me a ticket to see Tai Shan between now and December 30, I will (I can’t believe I am saying this) give you a handjob, with my hands. Maybe, if you are cute, a BJ. I am serious about this. I really want to see this panda.

Folks, no panda is worth selling your dignity. Not at all. That’s just fucked up.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Victorious in war, made glorious in pub quiz.

Team Sentient Sailboats, a nod to our fine Cloudmaker guests, was victorious last night at Four Courts Pub Quiz. Though Wayan figured out how to text Google, we needed no such oracle other than LA Metblogger Jay Bushman and his rockstar girlfriend Bronwen, who lended serious aid on the film round. Despite the protests of a loud bunch of New Yorkers that perhaps thought they were our equal (but proved to be otherwise), it was a great night at the Courts, lots of people packing that half of the bar. They’re going to finish the trivia season big this year, with $800+ in prizes on the 12th of December, so come on out and take us on!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Trivia Night Google Cheat Code

Say you’re at the Wonderland Ballroom on a Monday night. Its Monday Night Trivia Fight, and your team, Now + Later Alligator is down by 15-20 points. The questions are getting harder yet you are getting drunker. How can you rescue your team from dead last you think? Here is your path to salvation – Google SMS

Yes, Google SMS will save you. When asked the population of Mexico, send the text message “population of Mexico” to 46645 (GOOGL on most phones). Seconds later, you’ll know its 106 million.

With this cool backup tool, your team too can stage a great comeback, from dead last loosers to solid crappy bottom third in three rounds or less. Power to the Google!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Calling Oliver Twist

Neighborhood listserv’s can be an interesting way to learn about happenings around you. They can also be a means to find help or a job. Today’s hot job on the Adams Morgan listserv comes courtesy of “carn1fex” who asks:

can anyone recommend a good honest chimney sweep around here?

No word on if you need to be an orphan boy or if you’ll get more porridge upon asking.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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What’s $90 million among taxpayers?

So, when they first sold us on the new stadium for the Nationals, they said the stadium construction would cost $244 million. That’s a good chunk of change, but the city said okay. Well, now it’s $337 Million. First the land was $77.1M, now it’s $100M. Of course, how are we handling this? By cutting infrastructural needs around the stadium area: roads, metro, all of these will have to be paid for separately.

Chris Needham says:

Fat cat lobbyists, rest easy! Your precious pleasure dome isn’t being sacrificed! You’re still getting 78 luxury boxes stacked neatly in two rows to raise the riff-raff in the upper deck further away from your important business meetings (even though the Stadium Agreement asked for just 74). And you’re still getting your 3,000 club seats, so you can lay back in your leather chairs having young black kids from the ghetto give you all the hotdogs you can jam into your gullet for a few bucks an hour.

I love the Nats, I really do, but this stadium situation is turning into a nightmare.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Overwhelmed by Oysters

“This is what our heaven looks like,” we murmured upon entering Oyster Riot X, greeted by rows upon rows of gleaming oysters. The gentleman in front of us turned and smiled, and nodded in mutual bliss.

Heavenly it may be, but nerves of steel are required to survive the Old Ebbitt’s Oyster Riot. With 20 varietals of oysters (some 2,000 total), 10 award-winning wines, and 400 wine contenders, not to mention waiters passing around such delicacies are oysters wrapped in bacon, oysters rockerfeller, fried oyster stew, and more, it was an amazing display of decadence and I can’t believe my friend and I survived the night.

Simply put, we’re oyster freaks. We’ve been known to put back four dozen at Oceanaire. Each. As a New Englander I was practically weaned on oysters. My friend Gina is allergic to all shellfish except the delectable oyster, sending her into complete paroxysms of delight when she sees one. So this event was to be our Nirvana…

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Fan Problem?

Having never been out to FedEx Field (tickets are a racket, I swear!), I can’t confirm or deny the conditions that are in this morning’s Post:

One man was so wobbly by the second quarter that he toppled forward two rows, spilling beer on Leslie Weightman of Gaithersburg and digging his knee into the back of her husband, Jim. And leather-lung louts screamed obscenities against the Oakland Raiders until their voices were almost shot.

So, apparently there’s a problem in the stands. I never saw conditions quite like this at RFK, except for one Cubs fan who had clearly had too much and was heaping abuse…on his own squad. Is it really that bad out in Redskins Land?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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unleashing my inner crafty goddess

As belated birthday gift, my friend Dawn wanted to take me out for… something, she didn’t know what. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I spend all my time in front of the computer or on the phone and have been sort of itching to make a physical something, so we settled on mosaics at Clay Cafe in Falls Church.

On Saturdays after 6 PM, studio time is half price, and the only other cost is the price of the project you’re making, all of which are very reasonably priced (sake set for $18! including the glazing and kiln-firing!) We got there and were momentarily disturbed to notice that we were the only adults there not accompanied by children. Everything in the room seemed to be designed for wee people. But the woman attending the studio that night concealed any surprise she might have felt at the sight of two jaded quarterlifers eyeing the mosaic projects, and got us all set up.

Dawn went for a square tile mosaic to replace the top of a table that was broken in our move here from Pittsburgh a few years ago, and I chose a house number plaque for the front of our condo.

It was therapeutic to spend a couple of hours carefully arranging little bits of glass and gluing them into place while catching up on each others’ lives. We had to watch ourselves, though, seeing as how we were sitting within inches of a group of 8 year olds and some of our conversational topics were, um, less than appropriate for young ears.

We’ll be doing this again sometime soon- maybe pottery painting next time.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs