Yes, I know who Percy Sledge is.

I had made one of my favorite jokes while having lunch with my wife today. While browsing through the jukebox selections I saw “When a Man Loves a Woman” and made the comment that someone was stealing Michael Bolton’s song. Somebody at a nearby table burst out laughing. I probably had it coming, but I think I’m the one who ended up looking like the “no-talent ass clown” for saying that.

You can tell the difference between a laugh at something funny versus a laugh at incompetence. At least I had the presence of mind to introduce myself as Wayan to the laughing person.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Saturdays in February, especially ones near Valentine’s Day, should be spent being pampered at Salon Roi.

Here the clock-stopping hottie is getting the Diva Mani-Pedi. Complete with luxury chocolate snacks and mud masks for your feet, its the delux treatment you’ll love too.

Better yet, share. Salon Roi can do dual mani-pedis, perfect for a his and hers spa saturday.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Now just how bad would you need to relieve yourself to use this Port-a-Potty? Note that its in the middle of Connecticut Avenue construction.

Not only would you be at risk of a very embarrassing car-person-potty accident, everyone on the street would see you going in for the load-drop.

I think I’ll pass on the median men’s room. Toilets shouldn’t be so public, or so precarious.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

A theater in Florida gets a complaint about the word “vagina” in The Vagina Monologues and knuckles, we have a middle school doing a play called “Say you love Satan.”

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Metro escalator

Originally uploaded by rpongsaj.

One of the sad facts of the Metro system is that pretty much every day there’s a major malfunction at one of the system’s escalators. There are tons of station who lose escalators for upwards of six months in some cases, and we’ve all seen what even just the slightest maintenance needs will do to the system. Of course, there’s always talk of why the escalators are out service, but DC blogger Good at Drinking, Bad at Life comes up with a truly plausible explanation:

I’m not usually one for conspiracy theories, but it seems to me that perhaps there is a conflict of interest here. We really wouldn’t need nearly that many escalator repairmen if the Metro escalators all suddenly started working. If every escalator in the city went for months without breaking down, the DC Metro system would probably only have to employ about 20 escalator repairmen. Where’s the incentive to permanently fix something if the end result is unemployment? I certainly know that I wouldn’t devote my best effort to fixing something if the result was that 90% of my friends and coworkers would be laid off. It’s the same principle that makes unscrupulous auto mechanics take a wrench to your transmission when you go in to have your brake pads replaced–they make more money when there actually is something that needs to be fixed.

I’m with GWD, there’s something mighty fishy going on here…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

DC Metro-ites, sing, rejoice and be, um, plastered on Valentines Day. The venerable DC beer institution (and Guinness World Record holder), The Brickskeller, is celebrating it’s 50th anniversary in 2007, and has scheduled a year full of great beer events.

Culminating next week is the annual “Craft Brewed Strong Ale” tasting, on February 14th and 15th at RFD (Regional Food & Drink – also managed by the Alexander family). This is quick on the heels of last month’s “Lovefest” with Russian River (CA) and Allagash (ME) breweries at the Brickskeller’s upstairs tap-room. Call 202-289-2030 for tickets, they do sell out fast, as this is one of the annual highlights of the “beer tastings“. Support craft brewing and regional brewers such as Capitol City, Sweetwater Tavern, The D.C. Chophouse and others by trying something out of the ordinary with your sweetheart.

Also on “tap” this year for “The Brick” is a series of lectures and tastings about the Philosophy on Tap series in conjunction with the Smithsonian Institution entitled – “What Is the Nature of the Mind?”. Also, “The Beer Hunter”, Michael Jackson is set to return for a fundraiser for Parkinson’s Disease (which he, himself, just revealed he has been battling) later this spring. If you think a Budweiser, Miller or Coors is all there is to beer (really, they are NOT beer), I highly recommend trying something out of the ordinary with your sweetheart this Valentines Day. (and at the very least, with a batch of strong ales [> 9% abv], you can forget about the evening’s events if they go south!)

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I found myself with an hour and a half to kill last night and decided to wander down to the Crystal City shops, which I had never had occasion to visit before. A quick clarifying question – is it a nicer place when stores are actually open? The whole place seemed dreary and I suspect it might even be so during business hours.

Everything except the restaurants seems to close around seven o’clock, which left me with nothing to do or see except the occasional person walking purposefully through the hall, no doubt residents of one of the high-rise apartment buildings nearby. Why else would someone be there after dark?

After a few minutes the night security guard started to eye me suspiciously, probably because there are few legitimate reasons to go there at night and even fewer to wander around while killing time. As I left I wondered if there was a legitimate reason to go there during the day or if it is simply another place that caters mainly to the area lunch crowd.

My biggest source of curiosity was that the restaurants seemed to be doing good business at that late hour of eight o’clock but that the stores were closed, despite people going there. Perhaps I am not a retail genius but wouldn’t it usually makes sense to be open when customers are around? I understand the shoeshine place, leather repair or some other service like that being closed, but isn’t there a whole mess of opportunity being passed over by the clothing stores, coffee shops and other such smaller places?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

It’s been a while since I’ve written a honest concert review (at least for no money), but I figured sharing an experience with Metblog readers about one of the best bands you’re probably not listening to, The Guggenheim Grotto. They were headlining Jammin’ Java last night supported by Alfonso Velez (a Paul Simon voice with Phil Ochs song-writing, tonight @ The Black Cat) and The Sketches, performing a rare acoustic set due to their lack of a drummer for the gig.

Overall, the performances were even and well-done, some not as polished, but excusable for looseness of the setting. Mr. Velez was a pleasant surprise, bearing a level of honesty and personalization of his life around DC that helps bring you into the performance. I felt some of the riffs seemed overly familiar, but realized he was imitating as flattery and not as plagiarist. The Sketches (performing Friday, 2/16 @ The Black Cat and a soon to be released CD) were feeling restrained as an acoustic arrangement, even joking that their twisting in their seats was due to wanting to ‘rock out’, but being constrained by not being ‘plugged in’.

Of course for me, and the main draw for hoofing it to VA from MD, was catching The Guggenheim Grotto, and they did not disappoint. Hot off being on a number of “Best of…” lists for 2006, and 2007 Independent Music Awards, and gaining a US distribution deal (bar originally being sold through CD Baby), this Irish band is making their second go-round in the US, returning to Jammin’ Java for the second time (I’m kicking myself for missing the first…). Tracks of their album “…Waltzing Alone” have found their way in to TV shows and other media, besides the fact of also being regular fan favorites on radio. Their hit in the UK, “Told You So” has a familiar quality to it, and is definitely one of the catchier tunes, but of the better tracks on the CD, “A Lifetime In Heat” is, by far, the stand out lyrically and musically. The entire album is consistently good, and playable (over, and over, and over again). I’m sure as more folks end up hearing them (as I did on KCRW’s “Morning Becomes Eclectic“), they’ll be off and on their way. If anybody from other Metblog cities are readers, try to catch them if they drop in in your neighborhood.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Mr. zachstern, our resident digital infrared photography guru, has done a beautiful job on this shot of the Jefferson Memorial. As a newbie to the area, I never realized that the Tidal Basin froze over during the winter but duh, of course it does, especially in this horrific weather. When I think of the Jeffy, I think of cherry blossoms, tons of gawking crowds, and warm, sun burning weather. But I love the memorial’s reflection on the ice and the overall composition.

I really like a lot of this guy’s photos, but I have to wonder: does he ever get sick of the infrared thing? Does he feel obligated to shoot mostly IR photos because people on Flickr are expecting him to? Or is it simply because it turns what might be an ordinary photo into something very out of the ordinary? Only he knows the answer to that one.

On a side note for all of you Canon DSLR lovers out there, there are strong rumors that Canon will announce some new cameras on February 23rd. It’s possible that they will upgrade the 30D and the 1Ds Mark II sometime this year. It’s going to be like Christmas in February.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

A friend once told me, in response to a question about how long DC-area snow takes to melt, “Snow in the Baltimore-Washington area lasts about three days longer than its last vestige of beauty.”

As evidenced by the hand in the photo, we didn’t get a whole lot of the fluff in DC last night, and I woke up just a bit too late to photograph whatever pretty views got melted away by sun and salting. But I did get some pics, including my pride and joy for the day, a 360° panorama from the Capitol.

Got any good photos of last night’s snow? Add them to the pool!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Ian Mackaye of Fugazi lays down the funk on the DC Council when it comes to all-ages clubs. Listen to Mackaye, listen to what he has to say to the Council. Well said, Ian. It’s four minutes long, yes, but his points are darn clear: it didn’t matter what age the people at the club were, someone would’ve been hit by that bullet.

Banning all-ages clubs and events is a really dumb way of handling things in the wake of the situation that brought on the current legislation. It’s time to get the council to pay attention and work on problems that they CAN solve, not create ones that they can’t.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

No, not Adrian Fenty, Mayor-for-life Marion Shepilov Barry. Barry inexplicably put forth a bill at the Council meeting that would suspend the gun-control laws for 90 days, which would allow handguns in the District for 90 days. I think the best explanation for all of this is that Barry is out of his fucking mind, evidenced by this quote:

“Let’s not only make our city safer, but people ought to feel safer,” said Barry. “Now I’m opposed to any citizen having a gun in his or her house, but there are some citizens who, they ought to have these guns registered, so we should accommodate that.”

Let’s try and parse this? “Let’s not only make our city safer.” Okay, got that. “But people ought to feel safer.” So, if the city IS safer, I expect people to FEEL safer in the city. They go together, right? Now I’m opposed to any citizen having a gun in his or her house” So, you want to make it legal for 90 days for people to have guns in their homes, but you’re opposed to citizens owning firearms. Wha? “but there are some citizens who, they ought to have these guns registered, so we should accommodate that.” It sounds, Mr. Barry, like what you really want is a gun amnesty. Turn in your gun, no questions asked, and the city will be cool with it. But, instead, you proposed that we suspend the gun laws for 90 days. Are you using again? Really? I mean, I’m all for removing the gun ban in DC, as it’s not preventing a good deal of violence. Homicide-by-firearm is still going on in the District, still powered by illegal guns, I don’t think opening it up again to residents being allowed to responsibly own firearms will make it that much worse, do you?

What was the Mayor-for-Life really saying?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

A woman was struck by a train at the Rosslyn station this morning, resulting in a total hold at the Rosslyn chokepoint for some time around 7am this morning. The woman will be okay, she had a laceration above her eye, but should be released soon. Seriously, what’s going on here? Fires. Injuries. Abandoned Luggage. Bus problems. Train derailments. A system that was nominally fine six months ago has a rapidly rising injury rate and a rapidly dropping reliability rate? What’s going on here?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

It’s so frustrating to hear about all the anti-technologists on the Hill. People who won’t read email, or deal with documents on servers, or hell, even congressional offices that don’t understand the concept of good, or in some cases any passwords. I’m both relieved to see, and dismayed by, Washington’s cold reception to Google’s Eric Schmidt who gave a talk at the Willard the other day about technology. I was relieved to see that even the big C-level executives from the West Coast get the same blank stare that I do, and dismayed by the area’s complete ineptitude when it comes to matters technical.

New York City understands the value of technology. San Francisco and LA understand technology and use it to power their economy. In DC, we just gape at it, like a bunch of slack-jawed yokels, and then once it’s clear we don’t understand it, we busy ourselves with trying to legislate it to death.

One of the morons in attendance at the Willard the other day asked Eric Schmidt, the CEO of Google, the most powerful company on the internet, about his fellow morons’ email habits concerning the Reply All button.

Christ on a pogo-stick, man, are you a complete fool?

DC needs technology, it needs networks and telephony, fibre rings and spam filtering, packet routing and VOIP, but it treats it as something it can’t comprehend and then just ignores. Well done, DC, you just invited one of the most popular companies in the world to show up here, only to be ignored and laughed at. Bravo.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

While we’re on the topic of prescription drug advertisements, check out this advert.

That’s a Plan B flyer in the CVS @ at 15th and K Streets NW.

Plan B is Barr Pharmaceutical’s controversial “morning after pill” which took two years to get over-the counter sales approval from the FDA.

Approval that politicians and consumer advocates are still debating in state governments while we in DC already have unfettered access.

Three cheers for the District of Columbia! We may not have control over Congress, but at least half the city’s population has control over their bodies.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

This is the front of the S1 bus this morning, filled to capacity.

Even the often empty area past the back door is elbow to eyeball with passengers.

Yet what happens when we stop to let on passengers? The silent bus driver allows over anxious wanna-be riders to cram the bus more.

At some point, passed often on cold or wet mornings, kindness to fellow man becomes a danger to other men.

WMATA, how about adding a gentle but firm, “Sorry, the bus is full. Please catch the next bus,” training to your bus driver skill set?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Bridges

Originally uploaded by tbridge.

It’s with a great deal of personal joy that I welcome Metroblogging Pittsburgh, city #52 in the ever-growing Metroblogging network. Only 4 hours away by car, Pittsburgh is one of my favorite DC getaways, where the food it good, the sights are amazing and you can ever stay in some sweet Steel Baron digs without breaking the bank. So head on up to Pittsburgh, get yerself a Permanny’s sammich, and Go Stiller, ‘n’at.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Can you imagine showing up to your first week on the job, only to have two fires, an abandoned suitcase-which-could-have-been-a-bomb, and some other major catastrophes? It might make you reconsider a few things about the system you’ve inherited, I’d bet. Washington Post comic artist Tom Toles just about nails it with this perfect comic:

Well done, Tom. Good luck, John Catoe, you’ve got a flawed and dangerous system on your hands. Fix it.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

When WETA up and stabbed its listeners in the back, I was despondent. Where was I going to get my morning dose of Garrison Keillor? Where was I going to hear Car Talk on the weekend? It was looking pretty dire out there for NPR fans in DC. But then, usually hapless WAMU made the best decision of their entire 45-year history and decided to completely revamp their schedule in an effort to capture the now-disenfranchised WETA listener. Prairie Home Companion continued without interruption as that was the first show they picked up after WETA got done eviscerating their former listeners.

They’ve killed the reruns of Kojo and Diane, replacing them with On Point with Tom Ashbrook (who I dislike, but at least he has good guests!) and The World from PRI, which I enjoy a good deal. Now, I don’t really like Kojo or Diane, but as a friend explained at lunch on Friday, while pointing his fork at me in a threatening manner, no one fucks with those two. So, fair enough, well done WAMU, way to adapt to a changing marketplace to snare new listeners. Yeah, it’s pledge week, and they’re looking for some cash, but I’m happy to pledge them $50 in exchange for acting to capture the lost listener base from WETA.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

DC Drug Advertising

Check out these two trucks promoting prescription drugs.

That’s the American Academy of Dermatology annual meeting warping DC’s advertising scene.

We get advert trucks promoting Ziana or Scloydn in downtown. Also, check out your local bus stop.

This weekend I saw several bus stop advertisements for rare chemicals I’ve never heard of.

Hmm.. What convention should we want advertising in DC? Who would give us adverts we would want to see? Take your 2007 pick.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs