Cover Your A$$

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Let’s face it, part of living in the big city is having your car treated like a rag doll. Unless you can afford a dedicated parking spot, you have to park on the street like I do. You take a huge gamble every time you park because most people like to think of parallel parking as a big game of bumper cars.

I’ve seen it all. Some people try to wedge their ’88 Oldsmobile into a spot that only a Mini Cooper could fit in. “Bam, bam, bam!” Nope, won’t fit. Just last week I parked in the last legal end spot on New Hampshire and R thinking that my rear bumper would be safe. Hah! Later I went out and saw a black Lincoln Town Car belonging to the chief diplomat of some African country parked firmly on my bumper. It was parked illegally and fully touching my bumper as if to say, “I’m a diplomat and can do whatever the f*$! I want to do.” Needless to say I was pretty pissed off.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs
Add this to the list of laws that get broken in the city every day. Jaywalking. U-turns in the middle of the street. Bicyclists running through stop signs and red lights. People letting their dogs off leash. Hell, I break most of those laws myself. But picture this: You’re stuck in rush hour traffic, creeping along, and the person in back of you bashes into your bumper. You both pull over to assess the damage and you see a nice new dent in your car along with some paint missing. Would you say, “Ah, no harm done. See you later!” No way. You’d get their insurance information and get your car fixed. How is this any different than when someone bashes into you while trying to park their car? I just don’t get it.

One clever solution I’ve seen around the neighborhood is the “Bumper Badger”. It straps onto your rear bumper and protects it from the idiots who are bound to ram into it. Brilliant. Now if only they could come up with a gadget to prevent your side mirror from getting ripped off by someone who doesn’t know how wide their car is.

I tell you, there’s no way I’d move out to the VA or MD burbs, but one thing I’d love to have is a garage to park my shiny car in every night. That and a decent Taco Bell.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Hailing from the Mile High City, Max has also lived in Tinsel Town, the Emerald City, as well as the City of Brotherly Love. Now a District resident, he likes to write about cool photos by local photographers, the DC restaurant and bar scene, or anything else that pops into his mind.

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