Today marks the beginning of The Second Annual Capitol Fringe Festival! Last night’s launch event at the Fringe Festival Box Office (which is also a fringe art exhibit curated by its founder, Julianne Brienza) and at Avenue was a celebration of the success of the Fringe Festival in its short life so far.

With 500 performances over the next ten days, by over 200 theatre organizations, there’s going to be something for everyone in DC. Shakespeare done by Clowns? Got it. An Acrobat’s Interpretation of Amelia Earhart. Sure, why not? How about a Gilbert and Sullivan sing-a-long? Hell yes!

Check out the Online Festival Guide. Tickets to most events are $15 or so, very reasonable for arts events in DC. Get out! Support the arts!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Do you see anything odd about this bill from a night’s drinking at the Big Hunt? Like maybe our server’s name?

Yep, we had Dirk Diggler as our server.

Now it may surprise you that a famous porn star, one hung like a horse, would be waiting tables at a Dupont Circle bar. But then you don’t know “the Hunt” in Washington DC.

Famed for its beers, its know for its snuggly booths, where many of us have made out with beauties (or what looked like beauties at the time).

Last night, with five DC Metrobloggers jammed into one booth, it was sure snuggly, but wedged against Don, I wasn’t about to make out.

That was until he saw the bill.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Have you noticed anything different when you’re bouncing around the back of DC taxi this month? Maybe a new & improved taxi fare zone map?

Yes, the DC DDOT Dream of Change has come to past, we now have new taxi fare zone maps and its about time!

The new map is orientated north, which doesn’t fit on square sheet of paper as well as the old orientation, but at least you can understand this one.

It also has additional streets like North Capitol, my new expressway home, and landmarks like Union Station and the Lincoln Memorial for visiting tourists.

Too bad they didn’t come with meters too…

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My darling girlfriend and I went through our independently-arrived-at Fringe list last night and – sorry ladies! – discovered we’re pretty compatible after all. I’ll write em all down a little later today and you can all enjoy taking potshots at my poor judgment or telling me what great taste I have.

One area we divided on was a few of the Shakespeare-based pieces. The one with the clowns I wasn’t surprised about – the poor girl finds them creepy. A few others, however, she said she was going to pass on because she was just “Shakespeare’d out.” She’s not alone on this one. Over on the enjoyable Fring&Purge blog (which has some videos of performers if you need some help deciding on some shows) Trey Graham voices a similar feeling.

What the bleeding Jesus was going on in the minds of the 19-odd people who’ve decided to stage clown Hamlets, all-female Much Ados, movement-based sonnet evenings and other Shakespeare-derived shows at Capital Fringe — which, if I may just point out here, opens just as a six-month-long orgy of iambic pentameter has finally wound down?

I mean, no offense, but no way am I signing up for y’all’s shows. And if I accidentally wander into a Fringe venue and hear somebody speaking verse, blank or otherwise, I’m going to quit taking notes and use my pen to puncture my damn eardrums.

To each his own. I think I’ll see at least one of those shows that I cannot convince my beloved to attend.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

While I love me some bicycle carcass street art, I love this tag even more.

If you read it closely, it says that the DC Department of Transportation is going to remove the bike in ten days if its not moved or claimed.

If there is an owner of this bent wreck, they should call 202.671.2331 to beg for a stay of removal.

This is the first tag I’ve seen, and I know my abandoned DC bicycles pretty well. Every so often, I scavenge them for a part or bolt I may need. Others just swipe whole bikes.

No matter, this is an idea that we should export to China. Their abandoned bike issues dwarf any problem we have.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Up in the roof, its a sun, its a star, its new bright white lights for Foggy Bottom WMATA commuters.

Installed around a month ago, the lights bring a new level of brightness to what was a dim section of Metrorail platform. No word on the illumination expansion plans from the station manager.

Regardless, what do you think about the new lights? Personally, while I think a few stations a tad too dark, these lights are way too bright for WMATA to install in every station. Especially cold skin-bleaching blue-white fluoresent lights.

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Now, I’ve seen a lot of things during my time on the road and across this country… however, this evening while riding home, at the light at Randolph Road and Georgia Avenue, a cute Welsh gal in a pickup truck (bumper sticker flag gave it away), put on the emergency brake, and whipped out a pennywhistle and began to improvise something akin to “The Battle Hymn of the Republic“. I wished I had a camera to take in the event, but was barely able to make out the music with my engine humming and the helmet and earplugs in (see Tom, some of us wear them). If everybody took their spare wasted time and exercised it in such a non-violent and creative fashion, I truly do believe the world could be a better place.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

There was some hullaballoo this afternoon on DC Drinking Liberally, and the Cleveland Park Yahoo Group about the McLean Bible Church buying the Uptown Theatre. Not happening. The Uptown is merely being rented on Sunday mornings as an outreach service to the public.

Fear not, you can still get your Godless Heathen on while watching Transformers.

For now.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

…but the option on the lower left of this picture from USA Today’s review of the Washington Shakespeare Company‘s full-nude Macbeth made me giggle.

I also want to point out that their extension (*snort*giggle*) of the run of the show pushes them into the time frame as the Fringe (*chortle*) festival.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Is that a monk on U Street? Is it Halloween in June? Or maybe a player getting his freak on? Nope, none of the above.

That would be a Franciscan friar headed to work along U Street in Washington DC. A Franciscan friar who thinks the robes are a little over-the-top but is down with the message none the less.

And with a easy gait from a love of the lord, he walked with me, a devout Atheist, and to his credit and my respect, he never once tried to convert me or question my faith.

So to repay his grace, I’ll leave out the snark and say that I respect those that join a clergy, be it of any religion, especially one that involved a vow of poverty. I have way too much techno-lust for that.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I may laugh at pretty much every Hummer driver I meet, and make cracks about overcompensation for a tiny manhood by owning a giant land tank, but I certainly don’t think that smashing their Hummer with baseball bats and carving slogans into it is the right way to apply social pressure to those who drive them. That’s exactly what happened in Northwest recently, with a a Hummer getting wrecked by people who think that everyone oughtta drive a tiny little Prius instead.

Look, I may not like Hummer SUVs, but beating the crap out the cars isn’t the answer to the problem, either. Don’t be a dick to people like that, it’s just not cool, even if you think they’re ruining the environment, it’s not okay to smash their car.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Tomorrow’s the kickoff for the 2nd annual Capital Fringe Festival, a collection of performances that run the gamut from puppets to monologues to cabaret acts. You can browse the selection over here but I found it a lot easier to print out the PDF guide and circle my must-see events and put tic marks next to the ones I need to find more about. Convenience factor aside, you pretty much need the full program’s more detailed descriptions to make up your mind. Which of these two descriptions gives you a better idea of whether you’d like to see it?

Collaterally Damaged :A play about art, sex and genocide.

or

Collaterally Damaged: Collaterally Damaged is an almost autobiographical one-person play in which the author journeys to Eastern Europe, seeking an end to all war and even random acts of rudeness. On her travels, she encounters the sad and ridiculous things done by people who’ve been abused. It’s a comedy. Sort of.

The brouhaha starts tomorrow and along with opening-day performances is the opening night party at Avenue Night Club from 9pm till they throw you out. Festival performers and other local artists “will turn this three story club into a cabaret and make it a happening.” No, I have no idea what that means. However we caught a few of last year’s cabaret acts and they were a lot of fun so I expect some good talent at this event.

The opening night party is at
Avenue Night Club
649 New York Ave, NW

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

What happened? Was I sleeping when the terrorists invaded and replaced my swing-top Grolsch bottles with these regular ones equipped with crown caps? Was I too busy pressing my nose against the laptop trying to finish a project, or maybe I was hustling to make a buck or two? What else have I missed?

Sometimes it takes a sudden change like this for us to wake up and realize what’s really important in life. No, I don’t mean family, friends, human companionship, religion, duck pate, feeling small while looking at the stars or anything like that. I mean swing-top caps. They are a relic of a by-gone age, first abandoned with the invention of the cheaper, disposable crown cap and now gone for good, it seems.

Thanks, Grolsch, for holding on to this sign of the past for as long as you did. It was good while it lasted but nothing can go on forever.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

I’ve got a family heirloom ring I need to get cleaned-

Stop squealing and jumping up and down. No, not for that. You can stop being excited and my darling girlfriend can breath a sigh of relief, it’s an old ring of my grandda’s that I forgot I had.

– as well as a 100 year old pocket watch that needs some repair. I’d like a recommendation rather than just trusting whatever names google spits up for jewelry repair. The watch repair listing is even more anemic and you can be DAMN sure I’m not taking this to some mall kiosk.

So, if you’ve had an item you care about serviced, where did you go that you were happy with?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Reading about the illegal immigration laws passed in Price William and Loudoun counties, I am struck by the foaming-mouthed obstinacy of those who stop at the word “illegal”.

The upstanding citizens of both counties that refuse to debate any aspect of the multi-faceted relationship we have with immigration in America if the word “illegal” is present. It really defies all rational thought. Until you replace the word “illegal” with the word “foreigners”.

And in this context, I mean the definition of “foreigners” as people who are different in language, culture, and maybe physical appearance, and almost importantly, who are perceived as having a lower socio-economic status.

To test out my proposition, let’s take a few quotes as an example, and substitute “foreigners” for “illegal” and you’ll see what I mean.

Sue Flemining of Help Save Manasas

“If we turn our heads and permit illegal foreigners entry into our county without making any effort or identification, we are saying our language, our culture, our Constitution, our neighborhoods and our flag are inconsequential.”

Eugene A. Delgaudio (R-Sterling>

“We need help in Loudoun. We are struggling. We are a small county, and we can’t handle the hordes that are coming here and using up our services. Illegal Foreign immigration is taking a greater and greater toll on our community.”

Reading these two quotes in their new form, do you see what I mean? The upstanding citizens of Price William and Loudoun counties really don’t care about legal or illegal, that is a red herring. They are really scared about “those people” the different ones who do not conform to the accepted norms of sterile suburban life. Or as Woodbridge resident Chris King said:

“I’m tired of pressing ‘1’ for English” on the phone.

And I am tired of obscene hypocrisy of people like Ms. Fleming and Misters Delgaudio and King. The hypocrisy of their desire to discriminate against the very foreigners who built the houses those very upstanding citizens sleep in, pick the fruit they eat, wash the dishes they eat off, mow the lawns they take pride in, and pretty much do every menial minimum-wage-at-best job none of those very same upstanding citizens would ever demean themselves with.

Especially since we are all immigrants in the end.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Are you a “Wanda”? And if so, did you celebrate your name day right?

Did you get free flowers for all “Wanda” women?

Palace Florists was worshiping Wanda’s all day long much to my displeasure. Why would free flowers displease me?

No one does a “Wayan” name day, for flowers or anything else.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Back in March our friend Mr Darpino mentioned the one-time Dismemberment Plan concert being held as a benefit at the Cat. On my drive home last night I caught NPR’s All Things Considered doing a story on the cause of the event, Callum Robbins’s spinal muscular atrophy. What’s that? Well, you can read the story or click the listen button at the top to hear it as I did. It’s an interesting and – dare I say it – heartwarming story.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

That’s my first and, I think, last foray into the world of sports announcer quips. I feel dirty.

Anyway, Baltmore team Fragilay – mentioned back here – was bumped out of the WSOPC last night on VH1. It was fun while it lasted, and you at least got to boot out the defending champs before you went. But did you have to lose to NEW YORK? *sigh*

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Do you remember the stop work order on the Petworth Eyesore? Well it seems the remodelers of the house have now obtained the right permits and scratched off the stop work sign.

I’d like to point out to them that no matter if there is a big bright red sticker on their front window or not, the house is still damn ugly, still an eyesore, and still not showing any decent signs of progress.

In fact, with a broken window, the house looks even more abandoned in mid-construction, perfect for the house-selling neighbour next door and perfect for a prominent corner in Petworth.

If only I could win the lottery and buy off that visual pollution.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs