Kz’s House of Talent Suckfest

On a Scale of Zero to Sucktacular, I would put Kz’s House of Talent near the top of that scale. Their “comedy contest” tonight at Floyd’s (the best description of Floyd’s is that it’s a TGI Fridays that’s had its soul sucked out) was the single biggest entertainment lie I’ve been told since they tried to pass off Baltimore as DC in this summer’s Die Hard. I was expecting a great slate of comedians. I didn’t make it past the Emcee.

For my $10, I got the world’s worst DJ, a sound system that didn’t work, strobe lights that made me wonder if we were in a bad rave, and two R&B “acts” that could only charitably told to find day jobs and keep them. I felt really bad for the “opener” on the night, Mike Blejer, who was really quite funny, when the crowd could hear him. Sadly, the guys running the sound system were either deaf or unable to notice that the entire crowd at Floyd’s was asking them to turn it up. The representative for KZ’s House of “Talent” foisted her acts on us without warning, despite the event being advertised as a comedy night. They were so bad, I thought about going to the bathroom to hang myself, or using my fork to put holes in my eardrums.

Putting Blejer, who won the Improv’s Comedy Showcase in September, on in front of a dead crowd who couldn’t hear him was the first strike. The second strike was the really shitty R&B acts. I came to see comedy, not bad music in entertaining LED-blinking glasses. The third was the emcee. I understand that comedy is about laughs. I understand that not everything a comedian says on stage is true and actually fact. But that’s no reason to get up there and bag on your girlfriend for a good solid ten minutes. You don’t have to go right for the “my girlfriend so fat…” jokes.

That’s when I found out that my friend who was performing hadn’t been given a performance order, and had to pay part of the cover charge, that’s when we bailed. Don’t go to Kz’s events. You’ll just be annoyed that you spent money for nothing.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I live and work in the District of Columbia. I write at We Love DC, a blog I helped start, I work at Technolutionary, a company I helped start, and I’m happy doing both. I enjoy watching baseball, cooking, and gardening. I grow a mean pepper, keep a clean scorebook, and wash the dishes when I’m done. Read Why I Love DC.

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