Jack Bauer IV and 24 by Browserd

We’re a little late getting started, sorry for that, we were hanging out with some inaugural guests.

24 picks up this week right at the safe room where Prime Minister Baku is hanging out, which, supposedly, is up in Northwest off Foxhall Road. The house itself looks more like an LA-style mansion than the big properties up on Foxhall.

12:04

Agent Walker is driving up Constitution near Justice, getting bitched out by her boss for “torturing” the guy at the imaginary hospital down somewhere near 3rd and Independence.

12:10

Jack references the DC Branch office being “21 miles from here, with traffic.”

Dude. DC’s ten miles square. That means no point inside the square is more than 14.14mi from any other point. And that assumes the full square. Let’s take a look at what Captain Google sends us, shall we?

Here’s the direct route, “with traffic” from the Judiciary Square DC Bureau to Foxhall Road. Google Maps says it’s 5 miles. Not 21. Oh Jack, when are you going to learn some Geography?

12:20

The houses that Agent Walker is at now don’t look quite right for that section of town, but I’ll admit that my familiarity with that part of DC is a little off. Foxhall road’s a little wider than your basic pedestrian street.

12:27

Tiff taking over, since Tom has to run off to a client emergency. The First Dude is hanging out with Brian at the Tidal Basin. Nice shots of the Jefferson Memorial and Washington Monument here. Score one for DC!

12:29

Lots of people telling other people to find yet more people. Get outside, dammit.

12:34

The magic yellow van drives past a vacant lot. Agent Walker, still not quite swift enough to pick up on what’s going on, starts apologizing to the villain.  Wait, what’s this? Take a right on Morrison Avenue? There’s no Morrison Avenue in DC. Point for Jack Bauer  Morrison Street is in Chevy Chase… I suppose in THEORY it’s possible they got there that quickly, if kidnapping the Matobo and Agent Walker was like… instantaneous…

12:40

Janis doesn’t seem like someone who has instincts about other people’s feelings. But, whatever…

12:42

First Dude and Brian are at The Residences at… something I can’t make out. My TiVo couldn’t freeze-frame it either. It’s a swank apartment, though, apparently belonging to Samantha. Brian puts on latex gloves in the creepiest possible way. Oh no! Brian the Boy Wonder killed the First Son! And now he’s going to kill the First Dude!

12:45

A nice, hazy shot of the Capitol. Okay, I had to pause the TiVo here and check and re-check to confirm this (hence the delay for this part of the entry). Samantha is definitely outside the Willard Intercontinental, which is definitely at 1401 Pennsylvania Ave NW.  But look at Google Street View for that address. The Willard is a mile and a half from the Capitol. The dome is tiny in Google Street View as a result. But in this shot, it’s right there, like it’s three blocks away. I call creative editing bullshit.

12:51

Hey look, Skeevy FBI Computer Guy has the same kind of coffee cup that the First Dude was poisoned with! Oh yeah, and Janis broke any number of laws, but whatever… and the DoJ guy who wants to prosecute Agent Walker for torturing a suspect is the weenie who doesn’t understand the exigencies of national security. 

12:55

Yay, we’re back to the yellow van! And I’m pretty sure that ditch is not Morrison Street in Chevy Chase. But huzzah, ’tis only a flesh wound on Agent Walker’s neck. Pretty impressive shooting there, Jack. But oh noes! How will they get out of burying her alive-ish?!