Homeless in Sugamo 2

It’s a slow day here in Georgetown, what with it being early still and thus nobody making too much of a fuss over me being the only guy in the neighborhood without one of those shitty men’s scarves all the pseudo-hip guys seem to be wearing nowadays. Being a bit bored, I decided to look at Craigslist to see what magic I could stir up. As I have said before, I am a big fan of the missed connections because they represent the bit of tension before a relationship blooms or withers.

I found this one, with a woman who admitted to flashing a homeless guy she found rather attractive:

Hot homeless man at 7-corners - w4m - 25 (Alexandria)
Me: driving bright blue car-gave you money and a wink to match. I showed you the tattoo on my boob.
You: ruggedly handsome, tall, clean cut beard, killer smile, jeans had some holes-and a flannel
I was going to ask for your number and I assumed you wouldnt have one. So I guess we will find out if you have a computer eh? If this is you tell me what the tattoo on my boob was.

I like to think I am a reasonably attractive guy and I never get boobs flashed at me in public. What gives, boob woman? What’s a gainfully employed guy have to do to get some cleavage flashing action? I know it’s like a charitable action to do that for the homeless, but don’t think the rest of us wouldn’t appreciate it too.

My guess for the tattoo: a black widow spider. Or a likeness of Charlton Heston. What’s your guess?

It’s too cold today. I’m going back to bed. Wake me when the revolution comes or the mothership lands. Whichever comes first.

I work in an office in DC, where recycling is enforced and violations come with fines. Granted, we are new transplants here, as our office recently moved from Virginia, where lawlessness pervades and you can do anything you want without consequence. Almost. We are simple, country folk, still getting used to the big city.

However, you’d think that a whole office of college-educated people could figure out what goes in which contaier. They are different colors, different color bags and one container even has the recycle symbol stenciled on it.

Our office administrator put up these signs just today, and included a list of what can go into the recycling bin, and already it has been violated. What do you do at this point? Hire someone to monitor them? Does your office comply with recycling rules? How do you enforce them?

I found this note on a dock at Alexandria’s waterfront area the other day while my Lovely Wife and I were taking what could have been a lovely stroll. Of course, the jerk who was so upset about pollution as to write this note also was dumb enough to make more litter by leaving it there.

The river is polluted and dirty, littered with bottles, tires, bags, shoes and even dead fish. Yes, apparently it’s even too dirty there for the fish. On our 20-minute walk, I counted no fewer than five fish floating in the filth. That’s pretty messed up.

Take a look at one view of the trash:

So my question is - does the river ever get cleaned up? Is anyone really working on this or is it just always going to be dirty as a rag man’s asspipe?

The local Safeway near my house (yes, the same one with the occasional rotten produce) is screwing with me, setting up logical impossibilities that make my brain hurt. Banana cream pie is French bread. Is this store run by idiots or freaks? Come on, folks. It’s labeling, not rocket science. I know today is hump day and all, but go get a free coffee, buck up and let’s fix some stuff this afternoon.

Thanks, RFD, for the hilarity that ensued when I grabbed a menu to order a mug of suds last night while on a date with my lovely wife. I think RFD only puts out new menus when they are dog-eared and falling apart. Some may think that’s a drawback but I think the menus, which double as doodle pads, give the place a little character.

Good beer, good food and a dick on the menu. Who could ask for anything more?

Read on:

The 15th Annual Kena Shrine Club Golf Tournament will be conducted next Tuesday, May 19th at Penderbrook Golf Course in Fairfax. This annual fund raiser golf outing will be a shotgun start at 8:30 a.m., with a four man/ woman format playing Captain’s Choice/Best Ball. Plan to arrive not later than 8:00 a.m., pay fee in snack bar, get cart assignments and hole numbers.

After a continental breakfast in the club house and 18 holes of golf, we will enjoy a buffet lunch, award single and group prizes and a 50/50. The outing is all inclusive for a $50.00 fee per golfer. If you wish to play in the tournament at Penderbrook, let me know as soon as possible.

And, no, you don’t have to be a Mason or Shriner to play, although I am sure lots of folks will be happy to answer your questions about these organizations.

As long-time readers may remember, my Lovely Wife and I lost our kitty last year, not long after losing the first one. We are talking about getting new kitties but we (meaning I) are not ready yet.

We were in Takoma Park today wandering around and came across the Washington Humane Society Adoption Mobile. This is a pet-fitted RV that goes from place to place to advertise their services, stocked full of cats and dogs waiting to be taken home and loved. It was good for me to see the animals, when, following Lovely Wife, who has a ticking biological clock for new cats, I found myself in the RV adoring all of them.

I’m still not ready but I think we are also not grieving as much as we were. Maybe we are getting closer to bringing a new furry member of the family home. Have you ever adopted out of the Adoption Mobile? Anyone have experience with the Society?

I was walking with my lovely wife to get some Ethiopian food in Adams Morgan yesterday when I saw this mural on the side of Mama Ayesha’s restaurant at 1967 Calvert Street, NW. There’s Mama Ayesha posing in front of the White House with all the presidents from Ike to Obama. And notice the motif of Ike being in front of an autumn scene, symbolizing death, and Obama near a sunrise, possibly symbolizing the dawning of the age of Aquarius. It gives me hope, I guess, or maybe some other single-syllable word relating to my wishes for the future.

Mostly what this mural does for me is make me wonder why Rich Little stood in for George H.W. Bush. Also, why is Johnson holding a book like that? To hide his presidential woody, perhaps? Go check it out and if someone asks why you are staring at it so long, just say that you are trying to figure out why LBJ is smiling like that.

I saw this vehicle on the way to work today. Thanks, VA DMV, for your lax supervision of what we can get on our license plates. My next challenge: How to shorten, “back that ass up,” into something I can get on a plate. Any ideas?

The Fairfax, VA Chocolate Lovers Festival is this weekend, Feb. 7-8 in the Old Town part of the City of Fairfax in our fine Commonwealth of Virginia. It has been going on since 1992, is held the first full weekend in February and looks to be quite a big affair. From the festival’s web site:

Among the events planned each year are the Taste of Chocolate, featuring chocolate vendors selling their wares; the Chocolate Challenge, an arts extravaganza where the medium is chocolate; the Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast featuring chocolate chip pancakes; historic re-enactments; children’s activities; a craft show at Fire Station 3 sponsored by the Auxiliary to the Fairfax Volunteer Fire Department; open houses at historic buildings; and much more.

So who’s going? I know it’s all the way across the river for those of you in MD and DC, but it’s a celebration of nature’s most excellent resource. How can you not go?

Yes, the store where you get close-out deals from other stores that were going out of business is going out of business. Everything is for sale, including the store fixtures and cases of SPAM. If they are selling off the cases of SPAM, you know it’s all over for them. Need a gondola rack, a bunch of shitty Roy Acuff or Stryper cassette tapes or a $2 paint brush? This is the place to go.

When I went today, the cashier said, “$20.61, please.” I swiped my card, signed the receipt and she said, “That will be one penny.”

“What? I just paid with a credit card. How do I owe money?”

“One penny, please.” The fellow behind me spotted me the copper, so I guess I owe him one. Should have gotten his name.

Don’t expect great bargains but definitely expect the same poor service you are used to from that place. National Wholesale Liquidators is in the Eden Center at Seven Corners in Falls Church. Tell them Carl sent you.

If you didn’t feel like a combination between a mime and Bob Seger then I don’t suppose you went outside today. Between the weird wintry weather and the harsh wind, I have been convinced to stay indoors until everything thaws and starts to warm up, like until April. Until then I will be hunkered down here in Arlington in the Weaver Estate’s underground bunker with some champagne sparkling wine and my lovely wife. Call me when it’s all over, okay?

My company had a fancy-shmancy lunch at Tony and Joe’s Seafood Place recently. Nice place, I suppose, except for the fact of the waiter telling me that they don’t really cater to vegetarians. He proved it by bringing me a baked potato with bacon. I guess honesty is worth something in this day and age.

The best part was the classy trough-style urinal. It really brought back memories of the ballpark, highway rest stop, “out-back” facilities in Thailand and many more. Have you seen one of these old troughs still in operation anywhere recently? Extra points if you link to a photo.

Don’t go for the food or service, but definitely go for a beer and to check out this relic of a by-gone age.

The Grafton Urinal Trough by Mac(3)

Just not on election day. It’s a fine day for the list of sandwiches for people in line to go flying out of your coworker’s hand, isn’t it? It’s not enough that you had to spend your lunch hour(s) in long lines, but on top of it the person who made the food run screwed the pooch.

Did you actually get proper sustenance today or were you stuck in line with a bunch of other grumpy, hungry people?

Regardless, at least you did your civic duty. For that I thank you.

I didn’t know what to say when I saw this bumper sticker. I am all for political and personal expression, especially if it means do-it-yourself bumper stickers. However, it just looks a little funny for some reason. I find it hard to take this one seriously. If this were my car I might omit the angry white male part, although I suppose the term fits.

Are you angry about anything? Share with the group.

I went to the supermarket at the Eden Center this past weekend to buy some delicious, fresh, cheap produce. That place is the negative reciprocal of Whole Paycheck Foods. Great food at a great price - just my speed.

One of the joys I have going to such places is seeing all the stuff you don’t get in the pretentious expensive places like Whole Foods or the Teeter. For example, this can of bamboo caterpillars in brine would never grace the shelves of most mainstream markets, so it’s almost a treat to see such diversity just down the road from my home.

The one thing I didn’t see there that I was expecting to see were White Rabbit candies, which were recently recalled due to their melamine content. I was glad to see that the news had gotten to them and that they, along with other products I used to see there that turned out to have similar issues were now gone.

Thanks for your social responsibility, Eden Market. You will see me there again and again, but very likely not to buy three ounces of drained briny wormy goodness.

Where do you like to buy your produce?

Spanning a 20-year period of tumultuous social change, Seret Scott’s Second Line is the story of two black college students whose lives are shaped by the stormy events of the 1960s and ’70s. Bennie and JoJo are in love, but their commitment is tested by the upheaval of the civil rights movement and Vietnam.

The story chronicles a 20-year love that was certainly tested by time, as the description says, but moreso by conflict. Outwardly by the ones listed above, but more deeply by interpersonal dynamics and differing opinions on their roles in society. Was it more important to be active in achieving change in society or was it more important to keep your head down and rise from within? Is there a greater obligation to oneself or to society? How should one go about satisfying that obligation?

The acting was incredible, performed by two real experts. If you have never had the opportunity to see Erika Rose, who plays JoJo in this story, you are certainly missing out. She is one of the great local actors this city has right now. Rose has about 10,000 emotions she can produce and knows all the subtleties of each one. It’s like watching ballet – the beauty of the performance is stunning and you’re not quite sure how she does it, but she does it incredibly well. Her timing is impeccable and she can make you forget that you are watching actors, allowing you to get completely absorbed in the story.

Jefferson A. Russell, who plays Bennie, did a great job as well. Bennie is well-contained emotionally but often has the appearance of a steam kettle that is about to blow. Pressures build and Bennie keeps it all in. His segmentation of life into different categories – mainly school and work, with JoJo weaving in and out despite his efforts to keep her separate – was wonderfully acted. This role is less emotionally charged than JoJo’s and a person could possibly dismiss it as being an easier one to perform, but that would be a mistake. It is clear to me that Russell worked hard at putting this performance together, working with Rose to create the chemistry and tension that makes it such a believable production.

Second Line is showing at Atlas through 26 October, so be sure to get tickets as soon as possible. As good as this show is, you will not want to miss it. Dinner before the show: try ANM Market Deli at 1363 H St. NW. They have some pretty darned good food there, including a delicious veggie burger made from their own recipe.

Am I ever glad to have this kind of day. I just stepped outside and was surprised by how warm it is. The forecast looks good for another week of pretty decently warm weather, at least. I reckon around the end of the month it might get so cool that I will need to pull out my receptacle tip candy corn hat but for now I’m enjoying the mild weather.

How do you like the weather so far? Ready for winter or, like me, on the verge of dreading it?

Did you recently lose a hot pink iPod while getting on or off the bus? If so, I am pretty sure I found your little darling, still there in the street, waiting approximately where you left it. The only problem is that it must have been run over a few hundred times before I found it. It sure does look like it’s been run hard and put up wet.

I can’t tell if it still plays because the LCD and all the ports are smashed and unusable, but if you had a nice mix of Television, Gram Parsons, Elvis Costello and The New York Dolls, like on the CD I found, I am sorry for your loss. If it was anything like whatever it is that kids blast out their car stereos nowadays, I think it’s all for the best.