Apparently back in the 60’s Washington, DC used to have a fairly cool little streetcar system running throughout certain parts of town. Since I hail from Toronto, which has a robust streetcar system, and even have great-grandparents who drove the streetcars, I’m a huge fan of them! Well it would appear as though I may not have to go back to the true north to ride one because Fenty’s transportation director, Gabe Klein, is working to revitalize the DC streetcar project that started under Anthony Williams but has since stalled.

According to Washington Business Journal, the District is preparing to search for federal funding to assist with the project. Streetcar tracks are currently being laid along South Capitol Street in Anacostia, and H Street NE near Capitol Hill for two pilot lines that were supposed to be operational by 2009, but are now anticipated to be ready by 2012. DC’s still figuring out how to get around the whole ban on overhead wires in the areas governed by the L’Enfant Plan, but let’s not sweat the small stuff, eh? Let’s be excited that this is being talked about again!

The city currently owns a few street cars, which it stores in the Czech Republic, where they were made. With any luck, and a little help from Federal Transportation Director Ray LaHood under the New Starts program, Klein can get those bad boys back to the District and into action soon. He’s also got the Downtown Business Improvement District behind him, which is the partner and organizer of the increasingly popular, and oh-so-cheap Circulator bus line.

As optimistic as we might be about this, Klein admits that “the streetcar system is a very complicated animal,” so it might not be quite as easy as I’m making it sound…

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Popular restaurant chain, Legal Sea Foods, has been a staple at Reagan National Airport for the last 12 years, serving up fresh chowdah and other seafood to busy travelers at the small transportation hub. But recently Legal Sea Foods has been a fish out of water, it would seem, struggling with the Metropolitan Washington Airport Authority to keep its Reagan location up and running. According to LSF President and CEO, Roger Berkowitz, the company has been in lease negotiations with the MWAA for more than 15 months, a battle that resulted in the MWAA giving the space presently occupied by LSF to another concession after Legal Sea Foods refused to conduct more the $2.3 million in renovations by August 2009, as requested by the MWAA. Legal Sea Foods preferred to wait until slower months to conduct the renovations, but the MWAA rejected that proposal.

Legal Sea Foods claims that by law there is supposed to be a transparent RFP process and that MWAA did not conduct one, henceforth the company filed suit against the airport authority in July. This week, Roger Berkowitz was in DC for a low-key petition drive at the airport location. Apparently several hundred guests have signed the petition to keep Legal in its present location. This Friday, there is a hearing in court and a ruling over the dispute may be imminent. Legal Sea Foods has been serving up food at Reagan for more than 12 years and currently employs upwards of 50 people. Berkowitz says, “We are one of the top revenue generators at the airport and we want to stay. It simply makes no sense to replace a long term tenant like Legal Sea Foods and our track record of success with a concession that has no history at National Airport. We believe the process was unfair and probably illegal and we have filed suit to stay and keep over 50 jobs we have at the airport restaurant.”

I could find nothing about MWAA’s side of the story via the interwebs.

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So apparently when the economy is in the shitter, people spend money on learning new languages. Who knew? Arlington-based Rosetta Stone, maker of popular language-learning software, reported $56.5 million Q2 revenue this quarter as compared to $47.7 million in the 2nd quarter of 2008, and saw a 26% increase in the average cost of its language software to $361. So not only do people take to learning new languages during an economic meltdown, they are also willing to spend MORE money to do so? Huh?

Although the positive growth in revenue should be positive news for the company itself, investors won’t be as happy to find out that Rosetta Stone had to take a $7.3 million net loss for the quarter, or $0.42/share. The net loss is attributed to costs associated with it’s IPO this past April, through which it raised $112.5 million. That said, the company is forcasting 2009 revenue totals of $248 million, up from $209.4 million in 2008. If they can hit that target, their investors will likely be pretty happy multi-lingual campers.

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Washington Business Journal reported yesterday that Reston, VA-based comScore networks, a company that collects data on the Web-surfing habits of millions of people around the world and uses the data to measure Web traffic and shopping habits, reported an increase of 9% in 2nd quarter earnings as compared to Q2 of 2008. The company generated $31.3 million in revenue this past quarter and its President and CEO, Magid Abraham, attributed the successful quarter to steady renewals amongst large-midsized clients to its growth, admitting that smaller businesses who were more affected by the economic downturn have not been renewing their membership with comScore. The company went public in June 2007 and has been competing with Nielsen Ratings for dominance in the online user analytics space since.

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Despite how often we hear that DC is the closest thing to a “recession-proof” town because of all the government jobs here, private sector businesses continue to feel the crunch of tightening credit markets and an economy in which companies are cutting back on discretionary spending. Yesterday Arlington-based Corporate Executive Board announced that 155 employees accepted voluntary buyout packages.  The company, which sells best-practice research mainly to Fortune 500 companies has seen a 14% drop in revenue to $117.4 million this past quarter, according to Washington Business Journal. And just after having recently consolidated its multiple DC-based offices into one massive corporate tower directly across the waterfront in Rosslyn, CEB had to lease 172,000 square feet of space to Deloitte. I interviewed at CEB a short while back and remembered thinking “man, there’s a lot of empty space around here…” Evidently they were planning to grow a lot more…

The buyouts were reportedly not offered to executives, critical staff, or sales staff, and the company will take a charge of $6 million to pay for severance and benefits. The early buyouts come after CEB announced in February that it planned to cut 15% of its staff. Of its more than 2500 employees, 1800 are local to the DC-area.

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Living at 10th and M, I’m right in the center of DC to NY bus travel, as Bolt Bus (owned by Greyhound), MegaBus, and Eastern Travel Company (now owned by CoachUSA-parent company of Megabus) all run their operation from the parking lot that now sits where the old convention center used to be. But it appears that I’ve been taking the wrong buses because DC2NY bus lines, which leaves from closer to Midtown/Golden Triangle reported yesterday that they’ve enjoyed a 35 percent growth in its business over the last 12 months with a weekly ridership of 2,500 passengers at an average ticket price of $26, according to Washington Business Journal.  This is pretty strong growth for a company that’s only 2 years old – especially in this economy.

What I didn’t know was just how much they differentiated themselves from their larger competitors. WBJ reports that “DC2NY advertises itself as “The Upscale Bus” and offers riders free wireless Internet, bottled water, electrical plugs and table seating.” Bottled water? You mean I don’t have to spend $4.50 on a bottle of Vasa at a shitty reststop anymore? I suppose I’m paying for it anyways if a ticket is $26 vs. the $21 I usually spend to travel to the Big Apple, but table seating and electrical outlets are a definite plus. I couldn’t find any info on strong growth for either of the competitors, so it looks like DC2NY is doing something right – I might have to give them a shot next time I head north. What say you, WLDC readers?

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Get used to this metro station, folks, because we’re thinkin’ you’re going to be heading to it quite a lot in the future. The rumors that have been circulating for months about the potential of a new restaurant/bar owned by the folks who brought us Marvin and The Gibson at 14th and U have been confirmed by the Prince of Petworth, who’s basing his report on a confirmation he received from Chris Donatelli, the developer behind the project.

Although the details are not crystal clear on what type of establishment will be, it will be dedicated in some way to Billy Simpson, the owner of Billy Simpson’s House of Seafood that occupied the space before it switched hands. If Marvin and Gibson are any indication, it’s going to be swanky and there’s going to be great beer and a patio. Suh-weeet! Am I going to be hanging out in Petworth a bunch now? Maybe not immediately, but I wouldn’t have dreamed of hanging out on U Street 8 years ago either…sign of changing times for Petworth, perhaps?

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I can’t tell you just how excited I was when I volunteered to write this week’s Omnivore: 100 feature and stumbled across the traditional French-Canadian dish, Poutine, as an option. As a native of Canada, I’ve been missing poutine ever since I moved to this great land and I wish Americans didn’t find the concept of fries covered in cheese and gravy so revolting. For 12 years, I’ve been talking up the glorious amalgamation of fat, grease, and sodium that is a plate of poutine to friends who can muster no other response than snide remarks like “sounds like poontang.” I swear to God that sometimes I feel like I’m living the life of a South Park character (I’m not the only person who’s made this observation, and you can probably guess which one I’d be…cough, Cartman, cough)

So let me impart some Canadian wisdom (Liam, isn’t that an oxymoron? Har har, very funny…) upon you all about one of the greatest dishes ever. Yes. I said it. It’s one of the greatest dishes ever. There is NOTHING like sitting down to a plate of fries covered in gravy and cheese curd (especially after a night of boozin’ on Montreal’s Rue Ste. Catherine – MTL’s equivalent to 18th St. in Adams Morgan). Yes, it probably takes a few days off your life, but c’mon, by the time it actually hits you, your meals will all consist of apple sauce anyway.

‘Montreal Poutine’
courtesy of ‘joyosity’

Poutine is a dish that reared it’s delicious head in rural Quebec around the 1950s. What better way to feed your belly after a 6-hour game of pond hockey than stuffing your it with 2 pounds of poutine? Wikipedia points out that classic poutine has: “French fries that are of medium thickness, and fried so that the insides are still soft, with an outer crust. The gravy is a light chicken, veal or turkey gravy, mildly spiced with a hint of pepper. Heavy beef or pork-based brown gravies are typically not used. Fresh cheese curd (not more than a day old) is used. To prepare, first place the hot fries into a bowl or large plate, then spread the cheese curd on top. The cheese curd should be at room temperature. Then pour piping hot gravy over the cheese curds and fries.” You’d never think so much thought went into such a dish, eh?

‘my bike is poutine powered’
courtesy of ‘granth’

As with most originals, some people decide to add their own twist, resulting in variations of a dish that, in my opinion, stands alone just fine the way it is. “Italian Poutine” replaces gravy with tomato sauce or sometimes bolognese; “Greek Poutine” switches things up by adding warm Mediterranean vinaigrette, gravy, and feta cheese; and “Mexican Poutine,” also known as “Carne Asada Fries,” consists of fries, carne asada, guacamole, sour cream, cheese, and pico de gallo. It is best served with hot sauce. I’ve never even heard of these variations of poutine, but they all sound damn good, come to think of it. In Quebec, you’ll also find a few variations on the classic that include the addition of bacon, which we all know makes just about anything 10x better, Montreal smoked meat, or even more upscale versions that include Merguez sausage, foie gras and even caviar and truffle. “Poutine Galvaude,” pictured below, adds shredded turkey or chicken and green peas, you know, to make it healthy…

‘Poutine!’
courtesy of ‘vieux bandit’

Writing this was a bad idea. There is no way I’m not eating a huge pile of french fries today. I just wish I could find poutine! Next question: where the hell do you get this stuff around here? Well, I went on over to Yelp! and searched for “poutine” in DC, which yielded a whopping grand total of 3 results, one of which was a review that mentions how a dish someone had at some Latin joint “reminded” them of Canadian poutine. Epic fail. There’s a good little conversation going on over at Chowhound about where to find this greasy dish ’round these parts, but from what I can gather, the options are pretty limited (lightbulb just went off in my head, how does the “Poutine Palace” sound to you…?) I’ve personally indulged (if you could call it that) in the poutine at Jimmy’s Old Town Tavern in Herndon, which gets points for having it on the menu, but not for using crappy cheese and bland gravy; and you can apparently find it at Victoria Gastro Pub in Columbia, MD. Someone mentioned that The Brickskellar has a side order of cheese fries with gravy, but the menu doesn’t list gravy, and one other joint that might as well be in Canada, Boomers Family Restaurant in Berlin, MD. Stay tuned for the opening of “Darmody’s Poutine Palace,” because with options as limited as these, I think I might just have to pushin’ poutine on y’all.

‘Devolution’
courtesy of ‘mick62′

Although a few northern states in New York and New England seem to accept/appreciate poutine, it seems the further south you go, the less and less people know of it or find the concept appealing. This doesn’t make sense, people. The further south you go in this country, the more gravy is used in EVERYTHING. Fried chicken and gravy, biscuits and gravy, grits and gravy, gravy and gravy, pancakes and gravy – but gravy on fries? No way…that’s weird. Southern ignorance about poutine was personified when This World in 22 Minutes, a Canadian spin on The Daily Show, convinced then- Texas Governor George W. Bush in 2000 that then-Prime Minister of Canada Jean Chretien’s name was actually “Jean Poutine” (that’s not Chretien pictured above, that’s Harper, the current Prime Minister, but this picture was too irresistable to pass up). Years later, upon his first visit to Canada as President, Dubya joked “there’s a prominent citizen who endorsed me in the 2000 election, and I wanted a chance to finally thank him for that endorsement. I was hoping to meet Jean Poutine.”

So there you have it, friends, there’s everything you need to know about one of my favorite dishes, even if it does get me one step closer to coronary disease every time I eat it. When I visit my family in Canada, I generally always try to make it to a place that has this delectable dish, and one needn’t go far for that in Canada, as Burger King sells it at the drive thru (of course, it’s not GOOD poutine, but it’s better than my options here!) If you’re ever in Montreal, make sure you add “eat a Montreal smoked meat sammich” and “try poutine” to your itinerary. You won’t regret it, I promise!

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Now and forever, not so much? Washington Business Journal reports today that DC United CEO Kevin Payne has restarted his discussions with DC council member Jack Evans, D-Ward 2, and Delegate Eleanor Holmes-Norton, D-D.C., about the potential of a new soccer stadium being built in the district around Poplar Point near the Anacostia river. Payne’s been here before, as he was in talks several months ago with Mayor Fenty, but the Mayor abandoned talks when it was evident they could not possibly swing funding a project of this magnitude.

The hope of United officials is to build a 20,000-seat stadium costing at least $175 Million so they can leave the archaic RFK, where DC United has won 100 games in 13 seasons (not too shabby!) With their $1.2 Million lease expiring after the 2010 season, commissioner of Major League Soccer, Don Garber, suggested the team relocate if they can’t find adequate funding to build a new stadium. Booo!!!! Bad idea.

Some say that the project could work if the city provided land at Poplar Point and partial funding for the stadium using revenue rom taxes on ticket sales, concessions and parking, rent for use of the stadium, and the sale of naming rights. The other option would be to try one of our neighbors – Virginia, which is apparently where the majority of DC United fans hail from, or Maryland, where the team has a spotty track record since PG County rejected their idea some time ago. The problem here is that Virginia doesn’t have a public stadium authority to work with the team, and finding 12 acres to build a stadium that is metro accessible in Montgomery County could be pretty difficult, according to Councilman Mike Knapp, D-District 2.

I know my hometown of Toronto built a stadium just for its team, the Toronto FC, but they also have insane attendance records, from what I can gather. Chalk it up to the fact that there are so many European descendants living in that city or whatever, but I would hate to see DC United leave the district. VAAAAMOOOOOS…VAAAMOS UNITED!!!

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Just when I thought I was getting over the trauma, er…I mean adventure?, of my tactile dining experience Katie tells me the folks over at banished productions announced that due to popular demand (a fact I highly doubt) they will be serving up two extra shows of A Tactile Dinner on Monday, July 20, 2009 at 7pm and 9pm at the Arthur S. Flemming Center (1426 9th St NW) in Shaw. Reference the review I wrote about my experience before deciding whether or not you’d like to attend.

The owners of popular Cork Wine Bar cordially invite you to  join them for an afternoon wine tasting on Sunday, July 19, 2009.  They’re gonna be learning about wines from the Jura Region in France with local distributor pals of at Potomac Selections.  Known as France’s smallest wine region, the Jura offers an amazing diversity of wines and wine styles.  You’ll taste delicious wines and learn about the Jura region, its varietals and winemaking.  The tasting starts at 3:00 p.m., costs $30, and is limited attendance to ensure the comfort of guests (awww, how nice!)

Next up, the folks of Asia Nine are throwing a “Full Moon Party” for a good cause. Here’s the skinny: each month in Thailand, on the night of the full moon, more than 10,000 people come to Koh Phangan Beach to celebrate and take in the world’s most beautiful view of the full moon. This summer Asia Nine Bar & Lounge is transforming the restaurant in honor of Thailand’s Full Moon Party and inviting guests to experience the world-famous beach celebration right here in Washington, DC.  The “Asia Nine Full Moon Party” will take place on Wednesday, July 29th from 4:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. Guests will be asked for a $3 donation at the door that will benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). $3? That’s it? Sounds pretty sweet when you consider the bar menu: throughout the first half of the evening a variety of food and drink specials will be available such as Chang Beer (Thai Beer), Svedka Vodka, Red Bull, Oyster Bay Sauvigoun Blanc and Malbec all for $4 each.  The food specials include Asian Street Wings, California Roll, Crispy Salmon and Cream Cheese Roll, Gyoza, Shumai, Tako Yaki and Edamame all priced from $3 to $6.

Next on the Foodie Roundup wagon we’re headin’ on yonder to Virginny, where Union Street Public House will hostOld Town Alexandria’s first ever Great Grill Out on Thursday, July 30th, beginning at 7:00pm. You’ll gnosh on array of fresh summer vegetables, seafood, lobster, steaks and more, all grilled and paired with a selection of beers and wines. The cost is $49 per person, including tax and tip.

And just in case you’re not hangin’ on every word of the WLDC crew (shame on you!), here’s a little summary of what we talked about this week in food: Jenn writes about loving drinks at DC9; while Katie summarizes the Washingtonian Best Of party, which I met her at (for the first time, no less) and it was awesome; Katie talks up DC’s Best Creameries; Tiff confesses that something’s been missing in her life, and that thing was Authentic Jamaican Spicy Cock Mix; Katie highlights a recessionista’s heaven with Urbana’s $3 Pizzas, $3 Sparkling wine special; Jasmine makes even the staunchest anti-vegan men reconsider their thoughts about veggie dogs by throwing sex into the mix; and Rebecca gives an overview of DC’s Best Lox. Throw it all together and you’ve got yourself 15 minutes of mouthwatering reading and a bunch of things to add to your calendar! Have a great weekend, y’all.

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The amount of mine and my roommate’s energy bill is a hotly discussed topic amongst our group of friends. Mainly, the fact that ours is often double theirs. They attribute it to us (read: me) watching inordinate amounts of TV on my big screen, air conditioning an empty apartment, and leaving lights on all the time. Me? Never one for self-reflection, I think it’s just cuz Pepco gouges us.

Today, Washington, DC based Pepco Holdings announced that it will seek $142 Million in federal grants from the government under the American Recovery and Restabilization Act (ARRA). The utility company is seeking grants from the US Department of Energy “to help cover the cost of advanced metering infrastructure, distribution automation and direct load control equipment in its District of Columbia and Maryland service territories.  

Of the total, $44 million would be targeted to the District and $98 million would be for Maryland.  A $142 million grant, if awarded by DOE, would represent 50 percent of the total project spend, which is the maximum possible under the program,” according to a press release. Pepco Region President Thomas Graham points out that “Every dollar we obtain from the federal government offsets the cost customers would otherwise pay to make these important improvements to the system, which are designed to enable customers to better manage their energy use and costs, improve customer service and reliability and create a cleaner environment,” which sounds good to me, because I certainly don’t need to be spending any more money on my utility bill each month.

The idea behind the developments is to build an Advanced Metering Infrastructure (AMI), which is also commonly referred to as SmartGrid technology, to operate more efficiently – combining quicker knowledge transfer between utility and customer about outages, and also providing a way to garner more awareness about wasted usage to the customer so that they can change their behavior accordingly, thus lowering their bill and wasting less energy! Not a bad plan, if you ask me. One DC-area company, Arlington-based Positive Energy is making strides in this arena by running communication campaigns that target utility customers and give them “grades” each month on their utility bill that let them know how their usage shapes up to that of their neighbors. It’s an interesting concept, that whole “accountability” thing…perhaps I’ll adopt it one of these days…in the meantime, hopefully Pepco can build their AMI so that my utilities are administered more efficiently and the great behavior modification of Liam Darmody begins…

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Remember when your mother used to tell you not to eat with your hands and how unnatural it felt? And now, you’re all grown up and what feels unnatural is actually eating WITH your hands. Funny how that works, eh? Well if you want to take a trip back to your childhood, minus the nagging parents trying to instill manners on you, then the Tactile Dinner Experience might be just the thing for you. As part of this years Capital Fringe Festival, inter-disciplinary theatre company, Banished Productions, is putting on a 7-course theatrical “dinner” (I use quotation marks because if you show up hungry, you’ll leave that way) to mark the 100th Anniversary of Futurism, a movement from 1920s Italy basically rejecting all things conventional or antiquated. Or something or other. I was just there to eat with my hands and act like a kid again…

Upon entering the Arthur F. Flemming Center at 1426 9th St., NW, I saw a slew of people lined up in a hallway being draped in what looked to be lab coats by silent wait-staff. Each lab coat, which I later found out was to be referred to as a “pajama,” had some distinct characteristic unlike any other. Mine had green sleeves, the girl in front of me had little plastic eyeballs, my neighbor at “dinner” had cork shoulder pads. So right then and there you know you’re in for something “different.” One-by-one, the silent waitstaff whisk random people from the line and escort them into a room behind a curtain from which crazy noises eminate. Not going to lie, for a second I thought that perhaps KatieT had sent me to a nuthouse where I was going to BE dinner, rather than eat it. I even considered leaving, but the fact everyone else kept getting picked ahead of me built the suspense to the point where I just HAD to stick around. One person later commented that it was like being the last kid picked at dodgeball. Would ya look at that, ANOTHER flashback to childhood!

So we’re all seated in a big U shape at different tables – no rhyme or reason, at least that I could tell. Waitstaff/actors start coming by and making me “feel” my neighbors cork shoulder pads, and hold onto the sleeve of the girl across from me. Now, I’m not a germophobe and don’t like to think of myself as uptight, but when the lady up front says “there is audience participation, but you can participate as much or as little as you like,” I wasn’t thinking that I’d be feeling up other dudes I’ve never met before…perhaps Banished Productions could be a tad more descriptive up front.

Nonetheless, soon after the touching part, the first course of “Polyrhythmic Salad” came. The only way I can describe it is a salad served the way traditional Belgian Frites are served – in a cone-shaped wax paper on a stand. There’s a dude with a mustache on two tv screens barking orders at us in this authoritarian/out-of-his-mind tone that brings back those frightened “maybe I should leave” thoughts. But I stick around and follow orders: “eat your salad with one hand, while cranking the music box at the bottom with the other.” Music box? Huh? I look down and there’s a little mechanical music box. So as I’m eating my wilted mustard greens (they were damn strong – felt like I inhaled wasabi) with my right hand, I realize that I really have no hand-hand coordination whatsoever because my left hand can’t seem to play music whilst my right is shoving veggies in my face. Hmmm…Maybe that explains why gum falls out of my mouth when I walk too. While I’m eating, the wait staff are making the most horrendous noises – burps, punches, retching sounds, beeps, bops, boops, and a whole lot of other noise that sounds utterly mechanical. They are also walking around spritzing everyone with the second course: “Aural Sensations,” which was lemon-infused water. Like I said, not your traditional dinner…

Next the lights go out. Crazy video plays on the wall. Crazy dude on TV stops talking and some other crazy dude starts yelling shit in Italian. This goes on for a few minutes. I want my teddy bear…then lights go on and waiters are now flight attendants bringing out carts to serve us a third course of “Aerofood,”  asking us if we want “meat or vegetable.” We’re encouraged to enjoy our meal in the sky and elevate our senses. I went with the meat, naturally, and when instructed to do so, I released the clothes pin that was keeping the balloon shut and squeezed the scent of roast beef right up my nose. Mmm…if there’s one thing a large, hungry man likes better than actual roast beef, it’s being teased by the simple smell of it. But again, if you anticipate a cool, different experience, rather than a satisfying dinner, you’ll actually enjoy yourself – it really is cool just how real the smell is. Turns out the scent comes from some perfume guy in Brooklyn named Christopher Brosius who makes perfumes entirely based on childhood memories. How appropriate…

Next up we’ve got the 4th course: “Magic Food”. They look like little candies that grandparents keep around their houses. We’re told that “even our waitstaff don’t know what’s in them.” Well THAT’s settling…the crazy dude starts talking about playing a game called “Marvelous Marinetti Mandates” (Marinetti is the Italian dude widely regarded as the most influential Futurist in history, in case you didn’t click link above). “Marvelous Marinettie Mandates that you…eat your magic food…shake your head from side-to-side…clap your hands…eat another piece of magic food!” It was a cross between I Spy with My Little Eye and Red Rover, Red Rover…I’m back in childhood again! The magic food itself, although it appeared to be candy, was actually quite the opposite. Most of the candy-esque shells crumbled to reveal oil or some other salty liquid. Very interesting. Then the waitstaff start doing this very mechanical dance while the crazy music escalates. I start getting scared again, but I’m getting into this a bit…

5th course, “Totalrice,”  is placed in front of me and it’s a little pocket of something resting atop three lines of various powders on a piece of clear plexiglass. Read that again: three lines of various powders on a piece of clear plexiglass. My  first thought: “so THAT’S how they came up with this show”…The pocket, which had the words “Manga (EAT ME)” on it, was risotto encased in a soy paper. The lines of powder? One was definitely parmesan cheese – the other two I was unable to pick out, probably because I was moping about not getting to actually eat any roast beef. Funny to see the reactions of people when they see paper with writing that says (EAT ME) on it: no one eats it. Everyone started peeling the paper apart and gnawing away at the risotto, this assclown included. I observed that one of my neighbors had eaten hers and I followed suit. The paper basically melted in my mouth – definitely cool!

The 2nd to last course consisted of a “Tactile Vegetable Garden,” which is pictured very first in this post (yeah, I took that picture…pretty gifted, eh?) Patrons were ordered to link arms with their neighbors and eat with their tongues. You’d be surprised how difficult it is to scoop up pieces of carrot, cucumber, and corn with just your tongue, but it’s fun to try. There was some salt and pepper thrown into the mix and it was actually flavorful. This method of eating reminds me of yet another childhood memory: remember when your mom told you to “slow down and chew your food?” Try eating without your hands…takes forever. The last course, an “Aperitivo,” consisted of waitstaff/actors asking if you cared for “coffee or tea” and then spritzing the scent of it just in front of your face – a little offputting, but the smell, again, was dead on.

Would I do this again? No. Am I glad I tried it once? Yeah, sure. In fact, I’ll be honest that I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and I doubt I will ever again, so in that sense it’s a “once-in-a-lifetime” kind of show. It was a laugh as much as it was a bit weird. The whole experience is absolutely contrary to what people would expect, but something tells me that’s what banished productions is going for – a show that reawakens the senses of its audience. They certainly managed to do that. I’d recommend trying this out if you have an open mind, are bored with the status quo of your day-to-day, and a full stomach.

Here are the details:

R.S.V.P. or food-related concerns to info@banishedproductions.org

Photos: Liam Darmody

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I can’t tell you how many times I put off going to the Corcoran Art Gallery because I’m “too busy” or out of town. And eventually I find out that there was something going on there that I really wished I had made the time to check out. Well this weekend is the final opportunity for you to see the fascinating Maya Lin: Systematic Landscapes exhibit, which features some really cool pieces that alter the way you think about the ground we stand on. The artist, Maya Lin, is no stranger to DC – she came to fame after designing our beloved Vietnam Memorial. This weekend you can also explore the work of the legendary William Eggleston: Democratic Camera, Photographs, and Video, 1961-2008, as well as taking advantage of docent tours, a sketching workshop, and more. And of course, all of this adventure is 100% free to you and yours as part of the Corcoran’s Free Summer Saturdays program. 

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One of the poshest and most popular seafood emporiums in DC is unfortunately feeling the pinch of an economic downturn that has resulted in people having/spending less discretionary income.  Oceanaire Inc., the chain that owns Oceanaire on F Street, NW, filed for bankruptcy in Dallas, listing assets and liabilities between $10 and $50 million. The chain has closed 4 underperforming locations in Charlotte, NC, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, and Seattle. The iconic DC location, however, will remain open.

CEO Terry Ryan commented about the bankruptcy filing, stating that, “today, Oceanaire is taking the necessary steps to position the company for the future. During our restructuring, we expect to conduct business as usual in the vast majority of markets, and intend to work with our current vendors and to continue operations without interruption to our customers.”

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I first moved to the United States from a suburb of Toronto, Ontario, Canada in the summer of 1997. My first foray into the country brought me to Los Angeles/Beverly Hills, which was a culture shock and half. After only a year, I moved to Boston, where I, Liam Michael Patrick Darmody, fit in quite nicely for 3 years. In 2001, upon graduating high school, I was deciding between UMass Amherst and American University and decided to go with the latter almost entirely BECAUSE of the DC location. To me, going to school in a world class city, even one with a crime rate higher than any other place I’d ever lived, appealed to me. And so in August 2001, I made my way to the District and have called it “home” ever since.

‘Sunset at US Supreme Court Building’
courtesy of ‘mnesterpics’

I love DC for so many reasons, but paramount to all others is the fact that my “backyard” (metaphorically speaking) is a place that millions of other pay to vacation. In this sense, you could say that I live in some type of urban resort. I love that about DC. I love that I’m one of the few, the proud, the RESIDENTS of Washington. I walk down the street on any given day and see people wandering around lost, but do I just go about my business and not pay them any attention? Of course not, because unlike the residents of that “other” major northeastern city everyone is always talking about (cough, NewYork, cough), we Districtphiles are NICE people who actually stop and ask, “you look lost, can I help you find something?” And that brings me to my next love of this city: people.

‘maybe they need bigger signs’

Washington, DC often gets undue slack for being a “homogeneous” place full of government types and a social divide between the have’s and the have nots. But there’s so much more to our population than that! Just because we don’t have a “little Italy” or a Chinatown that rivals San Francisco’s DOESN’T mean that the residents of the District don’t have an entirely different form of uniqueness to them. First off, you want to talk about diversity? How about the fact that every single country in the world is basically represented in DC? Or the fact that most people who live here aren’t originally “from here?” Where else do you meet someone and say, “so where are you from?” instead of “what do you do?” as your first question? It’s like saying, “tell me your story – share with me who you are.” I love that. I love hearing people’s stories. Secondly, you’ve got all sorts of people in this city who make it what it is. There are the govt types, the techies, the hipsters, the college crowd, the diplomats, the hard-working who have slugged it out for years and keep our city running while the Congressmen are “working” on the Hill. There are tons of different people here, each of whom has a story to tell, and each in their own area. And that brings me to my next love of this city: neighborhoods.

‘H Street’
courtesy of ‘NCinDC’

Neighborhoods in most large cities are defined by the nationalities of their neighborhoods. Chicago’s got Polish, New York has the Italian and Jewish neighborhoods, Boston has its heavy Irish focus. Although DC represents all nationalities, we are not defined by them. And yet, all of our neighborhoods have flair and all of them unique in their own way. My school was in fancy schmancy Wesley Heights, which shares similar feel to posh Georgetown; then you’ve got the West End, where GW students mix with professionals of all types. A little further and you end up in the downtown area where lobbyists dominate by day and people enjoy themselves by night. Dupont Circle offers an eclectic mix of personalities, sexuality, shopping, dining, and even outdoor markets. Woodley and Cleveland Park offer a quaint, neighborhood feel without being too disconnected from the actual hussle and bussle of the city. Adams Morgan is a colorful place where you can go to let loose and really tie one on if you’re feeling so inclined. Mount Pleasant gives you a chance to experience Latino culture in a way you’d never imagine – when I lived there, I had some of the best meals I’ve eaten in this city for $5 and without knowing how to order it. Columbia Heights is ever becoming more and more popular – a mix of hipsters and longtime residents of the city. U Street brings with it a rich history of African American culture and enables people of all backgrounds to indulge, experience, and learn. Shaw, which many a cabbie have told me used to be Heroin central, is now home to the largest convention center in all of the US and the area is really blossoming. Capitol Hill, with it’s colorful rowhouses, open parks, and streetside eateries offers residents a lovely environment to kick back and relax. I could go on, but this paragraph is long enough as is. The point is: the personality of the neighborhoods in this town are unique and wonderful in so many ways, and I love the fact that I can walk to pretty much any of them from my central spot in Shaw. And that brings me to my next love of this city: size.

‘Walkable Neighborhood’
courtesy of ‘Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com’

Los Angeles was too large, Boston was too small, New York casts a shadow over me even when it’s sunny out. DC is, in my opinion, the perfectly sized city. I love the layout of Washington, with it’s large, open sidewalks; low buildings; green parks; and, of course, monuments. I feel like I’m walking around a grande European city that’s thousands of years old whenever I leave my front door, and no other city in this country (that I’ve been to) can make me feel like that. I love the Lincoln, Jefferson, and little-known FDR memorials. I love strolling down to the mall on a lazy Sunday and watching people relaxing or throwing frisbees, playing kickball, or just lying on a blanket with a lover. I love staring at the US Capitol, realizing that it’s the epicenter of power not only in this country but in many ways, the world. I love the White House, and all that it represents. I love the fact that I can hop a circulator for $1 and get pretty much anywhere I want to go in just about no time. I’ll admit I once thought about moving to New York, but I abandoned that idea long ago when I realized that when I’m in DC, I feel in perfect balance, and that’s not an easy thing to find. And that brings me to my next love of the city: the feeling I have when I’m in it.

‘(317/365) (164/365)’
courtesy of ‘kimberlyfaye’

Washington, DC is my home. I have wonderful friends. I have tremendous opportunities. I have what I want, when I want, anytime I want here. I have wonderful memories, enjoy the present moment whenever I’m in it, and am optimistic about the future here. I’ve met people from all over the world here, shared my story with them and in turn listened to theirs. My life in DC is full of rich experiences that I wouldn’t trade for anything else. How could I possibly NOT love DC if it makes me feel this way?

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What do Zipcar and Rock n’ Roll Hotel have in common? This evening I got an e-mail from Zipcar with the subject line: You’re invited to the First Ever Zipcar Talent Show. Intrigued,  I opened it to find out that Tuesday June 30th, Zipcar will be putting on its own talent show at the “World Famous” Rock n’ Roll Hotel in the increasingly popular H St NE neighborhood of DC.

A quick visit to RnR Hotel’s online calendar reveals that Zipcar has held 3 auditions in June at its DC offices for “performers, singers, dancers, comedians, magicians, ventriloquists, contortionists, etc.” The most impressive acts as decided by zipjudges will perform tomorrow night. Doors open at 6pm and entry is free for Zipcar members, $5 for non-members. Supposedly going to have free food and drink for all. Might be worth checkin’ out! Only question I have is why Zipcar only gave 24 hrs of notice…..that doesn’t make much sense.

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Anyways, the idea behind Groupon came about from a basic problem that many of us busy urbanites suffer from: so much cool stuff to do, but almost too many choices, which means I keep returning to my “usual” spots, only to leave thinking, “man, I really gotta try some new places/things.” But I never did. That is, until I signed up to receive Groupon’s daily deal here in the District. Actually, the first thing I did was buy the hardworking lady friend in my life an hour long massage at Lunar Massage worth $75 for a mere $30 (brownie points on the cheap!). That’s a deal that can’t be beat! Oh wait, sure it can – perhaps by the 60% off Groupon for pilates classes at Mind-BodyFitness, the 71% off at Miracle’s in the City men’s salon, or the 57% off at Posh restaurant. Are you gettin’ what I’m puttin’ down here? Groupon = bigtime savings for patrons + bigtime exposure for businesses, which in turn = win/win for all!

Here’s the skinny about Groupon, courtesy of it’s snazzy “about page,” complete with a live streaming video of the Groupon head office, which I find kind of cool and kind of eerie, but not as eerie as I’d find it if I worked there….but that’s neither here nor there. Groupon works like this:

1) Each day they feature something cool to do at a huge discount.
2) You only get the discount if enough people join that day – so invite your friends!
3) Check back the next day for another awesome coupon.

Pretty simple right? Right! What’s more is that the company has a pretty awesome phiosophy: “we treat our customers the way we like to be treated…..”:

1) We sell stuff you want to buy – A great price is only half the battle – it’s also got to be a great product or service. Between our top-rated business partners and unbeatable prices, you should feel comfortable venturing out and trying something new – just because it’s featured on Groupon. We want Groupon to be an addiction you can feel good about.
2) No BS – We really want you to love Groupon. “Gotchas” and buried conditions that sour the experience are a terrible way to accomplish that goal. We want each Groupon purchase to feel too good to be true, from the moment you buy to the day you use it. If there’s anything unusual about a deal (e.g. an inconvenient location), we go out of our way to point it out.
3) Unbelievable customer service – Like you, we’ve suffered through hour-long “transfer-athons” with customer service departments, or waited days for an email reply to to a simple question. If you contact us, we’ll do what it takes to make things right – and we’ll do it fast. Email us, or speak with a human (during normal business hours): (312) 676-5773

These are 3 basic principles that I wish ALL companies would adopt. Frankly, it’s hard to find all 3 rolled into 1 company – one always seems to be missing. But Groupon is Spoton. I like it. In fact, I contacted them via twitter @groupondc and got an immediate reply from Andrew, who I’m guessing is the DC Groupon manager in charge of setting up all these sweet deals is the Founder/CEO, with some information I could use for this here post of mine (thanks, dude!)

And just so that I can give some shoutouts to the open-minded businesses who are realizing the value-add of a service like Groupon, both to their business and to patrons, here is a list of DC-area companies I’ve been sent Groupon’s for since May 26th, when Groupon launched it’s DC operation:

Panache Restaurant, All Star DC Tours, Salon Roi, Uptown Cathay (no site), Relaxed Spa & Tans, Valley Mill Kayak School, PS7’s Restaurant, DC9 nightclub, Frederick Accupuncture, SPE Dive School, Bullfeather’s of Capitol Hill, Nova Personal Chef, Skin Beauty Lounge, Color Me Mine, Sonic Soft Carwash, Brightwood Bistro

I think that they deserve a shot at your patronage just for showing that they really do want it and aren’t above giving some discounts to get it – there are a lot of places who probably think they are “too good” to give discounts such as these, and to those businesses I say good luck! It’s the businesses who realize how competitive it is in this city and are willing to adapt and try new methods of getting exposure who will be most successful. That is, unless their business really does suck, but that’s an entirely different problem altogether.

Bottom Line: Groupon is a solid business idea that connects patrons and retailers who otherwise might never cross paths, and at a price that works for my pocket. I say sign up at GrouponDC, follow my buddy Andrew on Twitter, and become a fan on facebook. This way, you’re sure to never miss a Groupon opportunity, and you’ll be spreading the word about a great business.

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