Perfume Attack

Like many a long-term DC resident, I have obnoxious seasonal allergies. I try hard not to whine all the time about it, but occasionally I succumb to some self-pity, like today when I went for a spot of lunchtime shopping to escape Dreary Day Syndrome.

Once upon a time, cosmetics salespeople sprayed you without warning as you wandered the aisles, momentarily blinded. You ended up leaving the department store smelling like the Botanical Gardens on Speed, and sneezing your head off as well. Then came Perfume Correctness, where they only delicately waved the little scent slips at you. Ah, what a genteel time, but apparently that epoch has ended….

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs
Entering Hecht’s (on the Shoe Side) I was hit by the smog of scent, causing a fit of sneezing. As I raced for the elevators I passed a gauntlet of four saleswomen waving full-sized perfume bottles, brightly asking me if I wanted a spray. Unluckily, many women had said yes before me, for the air was so thick it was like going over the top into an attack of mustard gas. By the time I reached the second floor, watering eyes and running nose, I could barely muster the stamina to try on the required thirty pairs of jeans in a desperate attempt to find the one perfect pair (fellow ladies of the hourglass figure, you know what I mean – there should be a special place reserved in hell for jeans manufacturers!). I rocked back and forth in the dressing room like a Rhesus monkey in anticipation of my fragrant yet deadly exit.

It was a shopping disaster.

But there appears to be a great pre-season shoe sale, if you can make it past the gauntlet!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

As one of the founding editors of We Love DC, Jenn’s passions are theater and cocktails. After two decades in the city, she’s loved every quirky, mundane, elegant, rude minute of her DC life. A proud advocate for DC’s talented drinks scene, she’s judged the Corcoran Gallery of Art’s ARTINI contest, the DC Rickey Month contest, the Jefferson Hotel’s Quill Cocktail competition, and is a founding member of LUPEC DC. A graduate of Catholic University’s drama program, she toured the country as a member of National Players, and has been both an actor and a costume designer before jumping the aisle to theater criticism. Writing for We Love DC restored her happiness after a life-threatening illness, and she’s grateful to you, dear readers. Send your suggestions to jenn (at) welovedc (dot) com and follow her on Twitter.

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