Dear DC: I want my money back

I know, I know. Everyone is complaining about the snow/ice storm and the lack of snow removal. Well let me join in.

I come from a snowy land far, far away known as “Denver” (deh-n-ver). Not only does it snow much more than it does here in little ol’ DC, but when you wake up in the morning after a good snow storm, your street has been plowed! Neato. What a concept.

As a citizen of a city that has one of the highest tax rates in the nation (and takes up such a small geographical footprint), I have to stop and wonder at times like this, “Where are my tax dollars going?” They certainly don’t seem to be going towards fighting crime. Our police are a joke! Remember the murder that took place on Swann Street not long ago? No suspects. Nobody is in jail. Nada! And my tax dollars certainly aren’t being put towards maintaining our roads. Have you driven down streets like S or Florida lately, or in the past few years? It’s like driving on the moon! No wonder people are buying those giant SUV’s. You need one to prevent your brain from rattling as you drive through the city. Come on DC. Repave a road or two. I’d be happy to grab a shovel and help out.

Now as far as this snow storm goes, I realize that it wasn’t just a friendly dumping of powder. Yes, there was freezing rain included in the “wintry mix” which made things a little more complicated. But here’s how I would go about it:

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs
1) Fire up all of your damn snowplows! All of them.

2) Use the plow on the front of the truck to PLOW THE SNOW. If you don’t get all of it, well, at least you tried. I’ll give you an “A” for effort. Remember that the plow must actually touch the ground in order to push the snow out of the way. This is key to achieving success.

3) Hook up some sand/salt spreading machines on the back of the truck and dump it religiously at intersections while you’re PLOWING THE SNOW and listening to Whitesnake on your radio. This will keep cars from sliding through intersections, from spinning their tires at intersections, and from pedestrians falling on their asses at the crosswalks.

4) If it continues to snow throughout the night, go to step 1 and repeat until you think you’ve done a satisfactory job.

Maybe I’m just bitter, but from what I’ve heard, many neighborhoods weren’t touched by a snowplow. It really boggles my mind and again I ask, “Where are my tax dollars going?” The school system maybe?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Hailing from the Mile High City, Max has also lived in Tinsel Town, the Emerald City, as well as the City of Brotherly Love. Now a District resident, he likes to write about cool photos by local photographers, the DC restaurant and bar scene, or anything else that pops into his mind.

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