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Baseball’s Best Bet

This morning’s Washington Post has the results of a new poll that say DC is better than Northern Virginia for a new baseball team. To me, this is like saying “Sun rises in the East again” or “water is, in fact, wet.” For a season and change I commuted to Baltimore after work, sitting in hideous traffic, waiting to get to the ballpark, only to miss the lineups and part of the first innings. I couldn’t do it. It was awful. Now we’re thinking about putting a team at the end of the Dulles Toll Road? Are you out of your mind? If you thought DTR traffic was bad before, this’ll only make it worse. Hell, there’s no Metro out there!
Bring the team to DC. Let them play at RFK while you build a new downtown Stadium at New York Ave. It will be glorious. We’ll have yet another craptacular DC sports team!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Applause for the fat guy walkin’….

Looking for something last-minute to do tonight? Ralphie May is doing two shows tonight at the DC Improv, at 8 PM and 10:30 PM. Some $17 tickets are still available. You’ll remember Ralphie as the big guy who was almost last season’s Last Comic Standing on NBC.
And if you go to the 10:30 show, Tom and I will see you there!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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DC is the Worst Place to Die.

Forbes has a new article out right now comparing states on what happens when you die. Good Lord, how morbid. However, it’s important to realize that DC is Dead Last, pardon the pun. What makes it so bad to die in DC? Well, what makes it so bad to live here? Taxes. How a town full of lawyers only gets a B on legal protection is beyond me. We’re ranked 37th in Health Care Quality.
Note to self, move to Utah before dying. They’re ranked #1.
Virginia finished #13, and Maryland #22.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Today in local news….

DC is finally going to get to work with the Feds to reduce the number of checkpoints and get traffic flowing again in DC. Pretty please?
Metro may not be able to keep its escalators working, and it may not be able to keep the trains running after a few days of rain, its station managers might assault the husbands of pregnant women, and it may not even be able to keep the operators ON the trains during a trip, but gosh darn it, their employees are at least going to get courtesy training. Oh goody, that’ll make it ALL better.
And because they can’t stomach the idea of hunting in Montgomery County, they’re going to control the deer population by little deer-doses of contraceptives. Depo-Provera for deer. This is what tax dollars pay for?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Maryland Driver, License Plate MDZ-716

This morning on my ride to work, some asshat in a Black Nissan Maxima came up the Glebe Rd. ramp and immediately cut us off. No Signal. No Warning. Just BAM, right in our lane, missing the front bumper by about half a short and curly hair. Tiff applied the horn, I applied the finger. This jackass has the nerve to come to a full fucking stop on I-395 IN RUSH HOUR. He’s jawing at us in the rearview, I switch to the double eagle, and some more horn is applied. Finally, jackass gets moving and we can resume our commute. He made several fairly vulgar and juvenile displays as we drove by him. I was really hoping that he was going to follow us to the Rosslyn Metro so we could exchange a few words face to face.
So really, jackass in the Black Maxima with Maryland License Plate MDZ-716, wearing fucking headphones while driving, I salute you. You have won my Asshat Driver of the Week award. I hope you get intestinal distress at work today. Then I hope you die.
Yet one more reason that Maryland Drivers’ Licenses should not be honored anywhere else in the US, nor should out-of-staters be required to surrender their good licenses when they move there.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Burritos and Car Bombs

That’s right peeps, your favorite Spunky Burrito Joint is opening up a new location in Courthouse. California Tortilla, or as it’s affectionately known, The Tilla, is opening up a Courthouse location over in Arlington, right next door to the Four Courts. So here’s the plan: next Wednesday they’re having free burritos from 6-8pm, so let’s all toddle on over to the Tilla for a free burrito, then head next door for a pint or an Irish Car Bomb.
It’s literally across Wilson from the Metro, you just can’t miss it!
See you there!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Screwing over the twentysomethings

Like all of you, I regularly lament just how expensive housing is in this area. I note that the boom is due, at least in part, to the expansion of the federal government.
But here’s something I didn’t realize- Local governments are also purposely continuing the housing shortage.
Thank you, local governments, for screwing over people who move here in search of work, who find productive, professional-level jobs, but still can barely make ends meet because their mortgage/rent payments eat 50% of their take-home pay. Thanks guys, we love you too.
Being a big believer in the free market, I believe the market will eventually sort this out. If people can’t afford to move here, they won’t, and eventually the folly of this approach will become evident. However, most new commercial developments typically have an anchor tenant. It would be nice if anchor tenants could remember that employees who don’t spend 2 hours a day commuting and whose paychecks aren’t decimated by rent are happier employees who stay with their companies longer.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Abandon Ship!

Though I’m still stuck in Texas, I thought this was worth posting: A Metro Driver Abandoned His Train. This is so completely bizarre, I hardly even know where to begin. What the hell was the train operator thinking? What was the dispatcher thinking?
Wacky.
Am I surprised?
Nah, it’s Metro. Any amount of incompetence and stupidity is totally par for the course.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs