The Washington Post is reporting today that it’s probably not a good idea to start a fire in D.C. any time soon, whether it’s on purpose or accidental. If, for example, you leave a candle burning in your living room and your damn cat knocks it over, the fire department will have to try four hydrants before it finds one that works. In the meantime, Furball might really, really regret what she did and wonder why she’s so stupid…and then start to wonder what that smell is.
That’s right, D.C. Fire Chief Dennis Rubin is estimating that at least 25% of the city’s fire hydrants are worthless. Please note two key words in the previous sentence: at and least! What does that mean? Are 50% of our hydrants out of order? 75%? All of them?! Don’t get me wrong, I love living in DC, but I have to question once again, “Where are my tax dollars going?”
To quote Rubin, “It’s like a sucker punch when firefighters are fighting a fire and go to a hydrant that doesn’t work.”
To quote me, “It’s like a roundhouse kick to the groin from Chuck Norris when your house burns to the ground because the powers that be have no idea how to run their city!”
I’m going to go home and throw all of my candles away, and if I had a cat, I’d throw it away too.
Fire hydrant photo by Bill Adler
This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs