Ron Paul DC March

Ron Paul, the anarcho-capitalist cryptolibertarian neoconfederate survivalist Texas congressman and sometime presidential candidate who published a racist newsletter and opposed a medal for Rosa Parks, civil rights, MLK Day, Tibetan freedom, DC voting rights, and the 14th and 16th Amendments, and enjoyed endorsements from such greats as the John Birch Society, Stormfront White Nationalists, and the Ku Klux Klan, is having a march and rally today!

Billions upon billions of lovers of freedom and liberty and Ron Paul (and haters of taxes and chemtrails and the New World Order) will be gathering around the Washington Monument at 9:30 this morning to march down Constitution Avenue — because Ron Paul supports the Constitution! (except the amendments concerning taxes and jus soli) — towards the Capitol, where they will have a rally with music and numerous speakers. Listen especially for anti-NAU activist Howard Phillips, Y2K/Al Gore conspiracy fearmonger Jack McLamb, and the musical stylings of 9/11-truther band Poker Face!

Also in solidarity with Ron Paul’s noble cause, DC Wonketeers are gathering at the Tune Inn, 9:30 AM (yeah, that’s right, drinks at 9:30 AM), followed by, something, I dunno, probably go watch Wall-E at Mazza Gallerie or something.


Roving Asian mendicant, can occasionally be seen wandering the streets of downtown Washington, muttering unintelligible gibberish to passers-by while pushing a “bag lady” shopping cart full of old blankets, American flags, soda cans, and healthy secondhand snacks from organic food shop dumpsters. Used to live in a cardboard box at 16th and K but the rent was too expensive.

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