While looking for something else (don’t ask) I hit upon the wikipedia page for the internet phenomenon that is a picture of a kitten fleeing domo-kun and the caption “every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten.” I was about to click away when I noticed this:
The phrase originally appeared as the headline “Fact: Every Time You Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten. How Many More Have to Die?” with a kitten photo on the cover of The Gonzo, a satirical publication produced by students at Georgetown University, in 1996
Who knew? Sadly it seems that the online archives of The Gonzo are no longer active. Does anyone know of a live source?