It’s always nice to be number one, isn’t it? The American Chemical Society reported a study that found that 95% of bills circulating in DC are tainted with cocaine. That’s only up 5% from the national average, but, hey, it does put us in the lead.
This study jumps 20% ahead of a 2007 study which found that 67% of U.S. bills were tainted with cocaine. The major percentage jump surprises some researchers (and um, anyone with a wallet?) and brings into question whether the driving factor behind the recent results was the new testing equipment or increased cocaine usage caused by the recession.
The study claims that the drugs get on paper money in three ways. The obvious one: snorting cocaine powder. The dubious one: during drug transactions. And the dirty one: by touching other bills. This means that cocaine powder has infiltrated all of your bills, not just your Benjamins.
While you have a 95% chance of finding cocaine in your wallet at this very moment, the concentatrations are too small for anything very exciting. There should be just enough in there for bragging rights that DC is number one.