Cougar by digitalART2
Is DC too nerdy intellectual to have a cougar scene? That’s the conclusion reached in this hilarious McSweeny’s undercover cougar investigation by local Holly Jones.
First things first, if you’ve had your nose buried in legal briefs for the past few years, let’s get you up to speed on the terminology. According to Urban Dictionary (the ultimate source for cluing in the clueless), a cougar is:
A 35+ year old female who is on the “hunt” for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. Man is cougar’s number one prey.
Jones, disguised as a “cougar-poser”, goes hunting for the ultimate cougar den in DC by staking out Café Milano, the Four Seasons bar, Tom Tom, and Russia House, discovering that the crème de la cougar exists in a far off land known as Dewey Beach.
The article proposes that the women of DC are too intellectual to make the transformation from lonely women with ticking clocks, to ferocious, boy toy eating cougars.
“People in DC care about their reputations. Maybe it’s the government vibe or the political air that tinges everything here, including who hires you some of the time. If you’ve visited DC, you’ve probably noticed that we’re not overly fit or fashion-forward. We’re a little nerdy. We like talk and, if someone’s got enough time to keep their bodies too perfect, that person’s probably not talking, or thinking, enough.
More than money or looks, information—about politics, refugees in war-torn countries and even the sex lives of others—is our currency. To be the cougar who seeks out her cub for a night or a weekend, you can’t care too much about what people think. And people in DC, right or wrong, care.”
So what do you think, DC? Is our town full of cougars hiding in secret cougar dens? Where are these dens? Do our women even have the potential to become cougars or will they always prefer debating health care policy over a piece of red meat at The Palm?