D.C. Superior Court Magistrate Judge Janet Albert broke up with her girlfriend. And then her (now ex) girlfriend Taylar Nuevelle snuck into Albert’s house and hid in the attic over her bedroom with a supply of food and a bucket for a toilet. She listened to Albert’s phone calls and, according to WaPo, “is on trial on charges of burglary, unlawful entry and stalking. Prosecutors allege that she began stalking Albert and harassing with her with hundreds of phone calls, threatening e-mails and text messages after the two ended their year-long relationship in 2008. She faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted.”
Yeah, so, that happened.
There’s more: “cellphone records show that Nuevelle called Albert 473 times between Sept. 11 and Oct. 22, 2008, including 139 times in one night.”
Oh you guys. I value a lot of virtues, but one of them I hold the highest is dignity. So I say to Taylar, GIRL, GET YOURSELF SOME AT THE DIGNITY STORE. Pick it up! You needs it. Or, you know, pick yourself up a copy of the critically acclaimed book, It’s Called A Break Up Because It’s Broken, grab yourself some Ben and Jerrys, a spoon, some tissues, and have it out. Then head to the shoe store, or to Filene’s basment, I mean… ANYWHERE. Just don’t HIDE, you know like, IN HER HOUSE, LISTENING TO HER. For real.