Move over you sun tanned beauties from Hawaii (2) and California (3) who spend all day working out, surfing and just being hot. Despite the fact that we spend all of our time stuck in cubicles, in underground Metro and Hill tunnels and freezing what little assets we have off in the 15 degree snow, DC IS WHERE IT’S AT. I cannot lie and I do not lie. The Daily Beast is now claiming that, based on their rather crazy and somewhat absurd, albeit somehow slightly practical, calculations, the District of Columbia is the “state” with the most attractive people in the United States.
No longer will we stand for that ridiculous term “Hollywood for the ugly.” No longer will we sit back and take the abuse dished out at us by the 50 states who wish they could be a district instead of a state but who still love their Congressional representation (but actually always hate their Reps. yet always vote them back in, just be happy you have some mmkay?), and there’s even Guam and American Samoa who probably say crap about us too! NO MORE I SAY!
How did we end up at the top? I’m just going to paste a snippet of their crazytown formula for you all to take in:
Here’s how we calculated the ultimate home state bragging rights. First, we determined who had the most stunners-per-capita (allowing Connecticut and California an equal playing field), tallying the hometowns of more than 300 male and female fashion models, plus 125 men mentioned in 10 years’ worth of People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issues. Then, we accounted for the results of the Miss America and Miss USA pageants for the past decade. Finally, in order to measure general attractiveness, we factored in health and fitness data for each state from 2006-2008, ranked by the Trust for America’s Health. Each of those three criteria—models, pageant winners, fitness—was weighed equally, with any ties broken by which state performed best in the latter category.
The celeb who represents us as our figurehead of beauty is native Katherine Heigl, who keeps dying and coming back to life and then going away and being found and breaking up and getting back together on Grey’s Anatomy. Maybe she represents DC in more ways than just her looks? Sounds kinda’ like a hot piece of legislation in the Senate these days.
Now, go befriend the hotness that is our city. Appreciate the fact that not only do you live in the most powerful place on earth, it’s also the hottest. Every day of the year. So stop being single already.