The DC Register is comedy gold, Nth edition

Photo courtesy of
‘Ayurvedic Massage’
courtesy of ‘Kerala Tourism’

Sometimes I comment that I read the DC Register so you don’t have to, but it pays off often enough that it’s totally worth it. This time the joy comes in the form of new proposed regulation from the Department of Health. Last year some enhanced regulation went in place to try to crack down on prostitution that was thinly disguised as massage. The new changes add some more fines in for that kind of thing as well as other offenses. Some of them make you think “are the criminal penalties really not enough?” but mostly I just love the way these extremes are mixed together.

For example, the following are all class 1 infractions:

  • Operating a massage establishment or health spa facility for an illegal clandestine drug laboratory or related activities;
  • Operating a massage establishment or health spa facility for prostitution;
  • Operating a massage establishment or health spa facility without a valid Certificate of Occupancy;
  • Failure of licensee to employ a massage therapist who is on the premises during all hours of operation

Are massage parlors really useful fronts for drug labs?

Well I used to say something in my profile about not quite being a “tinker, tailor, soldier, or spy” but Tom stole that for our about us page, so I guess I’ll have to find another way to express that I am a man of many interests.

Hmm, guess I just did.

My tastes run the gamut from sophomoric to Shakespeare and in my “professional” life I’ve sold things, served beer, written software, and carried heavy objects… sometimes at the same place. It’s that range of loves and activities that makes it so easy for me to love DC – we’ve got it all.


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