Coming out of today’s Ward 2 Watch Commander’s Crime Update, it appears we’ve got a hot Segway on the loose in the streets of DC. The report states that the victim was “watching a basketball game, left their Segway unsecured in the rear of the location during which time an unknown suspect(s) stole it.” The theft occurred late Wednesday night along the 2000 blk. of G St., N.W.
Really guy? You left your Segway out back with the keys in the ignition? Dumbass. But as much as I despise people cruising the streets on these horrid vehicles–just walk for f*#k’s sake you lazy piece of poop!–I despise thievery even more. So for those .0003 of you who have a Segway, be sure to lock. it. up.