The Funmongers: US Park Police

Photo courtesy of
‘Mounted Park Police – Restoring Honor rally’
courtesy of ‘theqspeaks’

Is there a group in DC more hated than the Park Police?

Okay, okay, besides the current subjects of local political scandals.  And the Congress. And the credit rating agencies. And the leadership of the Congress.

That being said, it’s hard to look at the organization that is the United States Park Police and not wonder exactly who it is that’s running the show over there, and why it is that they think they can hold back the world from various fun-related activities.  It’s as if they have been setup as the nation’s funmongers, controlling the nation’s fun supply in the extreme and telling us that there is no dancing, no food trucks, harassing the pedicabs, preventing bus stops and now, no soccer near the White House.

FC Barcelona, world soccer’s equivalent of the New York Yankees, in town to play Manchester United at Fedex Field on Saturday, were kicked off the Ellipse for trying to have a little kick around. Sure, they didn’t have a permit, and it was within sight of the White House, and it could’ve been a mob scene if they’d been recognized by soccer fans, but c’mon now, Park Police, this is a little bit ridiculous.

I live and work in the District of Columbia. I write at We Love DC, a blog I helped start, I work at Technolutionary, a company I helped start, and I’m happy doing both. I enjoy watching baseball, cooking, and gardening. I grow a mean pepper, keep a clean scorebook, and wash the dishes when I’m done. Read Why I Love DC.

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7 thoughts on “The Funmongers: US Park Police

  1. Amen! Especially when the problem every weekday after 6:00pm is that you can’t play soccer on the the Ellipse because it’s already too crowded with other soccer players!

  2. This story reminded me of back in 2001 when a Park Ranger and Park Police kicked my no-budget film crew off of the “Duck Pond” island. We were just trying to have some fun making an unofficial sequel to “Krull” but they shut us down before we shot a frame.

    Our sound-guy recorded some of our exchange with the Ranger and turned it into a silly little song.


  3. Park Service Mission Statement: Help the American people, and our nation’s visitors, enjoy the National Parks, but ONLY in the manner in which we say they can enjoy them.

  4. Take a look at the uniform of the ranger who kicked the team off vs. the blue and white uniform of a park police officer. She’s with the National Park Service. How about you complain about the right organization?

  5. That’s an astute observation, Jason, mixed with the right amount of passive-aggressive bitchiness. And on a Saturday morning no less. Can I be your friend?

  6. All of this NPS hate in DC is really, really tiresome. It’s a highly politically-pressured, underfunded institution (it is the least funded region in the country with the most visited, densest visitation–it is also free, by the way, most national parks aren’t). The rules are needed to prevent unfortunate things from happening, and you can’t break them for one group because there _will_ be another that complains about that later too, believe me.