I don’t know why I do this to myself. I don’t. It’s just that when I need furniture, I can’t bear the thought of going to Marlo and paying out the ass for a good pair of bookcases, or getting cheap crap from Target. I just can’t. So, it’s off to that haven of matching items and DIY, Ikea. We got in the car this morning at 10 and drove down to Woodbridge to look for a desk and some bookcases and maybe a dresser. We found what we needed, and enjoyed our trip through the rampant consumerism labyrinth, and headed for pickup and checkout. We ended up cramming my Jetta full of flatpacks and tying down the trunk for the drive back. Once home, we unloaded and began assembly of the dresser unit we fancied. That’s when it began.

We unpacked the box for the dresser and found just about half of what we needed to make a dresser. Crap. Back to Ikea.

I got the second box and we started again. Worked great, until we got to the last of the drawers. The bores for the camshafts didn’t line up. Neither for the dowels. Crap. Guess where I’m going? Yeah. Back to Ikea.

This time, I took them the parts with me and said, “Fix it!” So they did. And off I went back to my condo to finish the dresser. Drawers assembled, time to put on the rails. Drawer one, no problem. Drawer two. Aw shit. Not again. The rails line up, but there’s no holes for the screws! For crying out loud, people, what the fuck is going on?! Furious, I sped back down 395 weaving in and out traffic (I am sorry if I inadvertantly caused road rage this weekend, please blame Ikea.), I headed for the store trying to make it before close. I was told that the rails that I had wouldn’t work with the drawer, because they’d changed manufacturing techniques for the dresser midstream (they’re made in Poland. I will let you fill in your own ethnic joke here.), and that I needed new rails. Mollified by new rails and screws, I sped back up 95. Total miles driven today? 167. All back and forth to Ikea.

God, is there some magic solution to the Ikea nightmare? I’ll tell you, I’m afraid to assemble the bookshelves and desk now, for fear that I might have to drive that horrid route again tomorrow. If, however, you see me on the 10pm news tomorrow night, it’s because the desk or bookshelves have missing parts. Please come bail me out.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

The DC Web Women are holding a Networking and Résumé Consultation Mashup after work on November 9th. My employer is sponsoring the event, which will be held at our offices and will feature the advise and expertise of my coworkers and me (we’re IT and Creative recruiters). Come network, have some food, and polish up the ol’ CV. The event is only $10 and you can RSVP online!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

It was a long day downtown, and as I cruised down 15th St. toward 395, my mind wandered as I slid through traffic, thoughts ranging from the end of the baseball season to the recent controversy over Scooter Libby’s loose lips to how much I was looking forward to a beer from my fridge when I got home. When I merged onto the Bridge and past the Pentagon, I felt a presence off the side of my car, and saw the USDOT label of a bus on my left, but when the bus moved past in traffic, I was wishing for my camera. It was the Miller High Life Cruiser, in the style of an old Airstream, all decked out in chrome and a gorgeous red paint job. I hate it when I leave my camera on my desk, that would have made for a killer shot on the way home. Anyone know where it’s going? It was heading south on 395 at 6:25 tonight.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

It wasn’t too long ago that District Officials thought it might be a good idea to institute a tax on those people who live in Virginia and Maryland and work in the District. Essentially, instead of just hitting us up for 10% of our lunch money, and a good chunk of our Metro fares, they wanted to grab a good 2% of our income here as well. Well, some smart folks picked up the phone and called their lawyers and sued. Today they won a major court battle and the federal appeals court here in DC said in its verdict that the Constitution gives all power pertaining to the federal city to Congress.

Good luck getting that one through, boys. DC’s not the only city with this problem, though, as New York City draws commuting workers from nearby Connecticut and New Jersey and somehow manages to make do without their wallets. Chicago somehow survives without the income of all of the Wisconsin and Indiana people who work in the city. Such it is here. I feel for the city, but I already feel sufficiently taxed without having to pay extra just to work here.

[Update] After local lawyer JW commented on this point, I’d like to clarify a few things from his point of view: The DC Commuter Tax is designed to be neutral effect on those who pay it, ie, the money you pay to DC will be deducted from your state taxes. In addition, the suit was begun by DC residents, not city officials.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Apparently, a class of second graders learned a valuable lesson yesterday: Do NOT mess with bees. Nobody died, just some stinging, but all I can think about in this sort of situation is Chris Farley and David Spade in Tommy Boy.

Tommy: “Bees! Bees! Bees in the car! Bees Everywhere! God, they’re huge! They’re ripping my flesh off!”

Cop afraid of Bees (Christopher John): “Son, uh, roll around. You hear me? Roll around on the ground!”

Tommy: “Forget that! I’m starting to swell up!”

Richard: “Save yourself. Don’t be the hero!”

Cop afraid of Bees: “Frank, I’m alergic to bees.”

Cop afraid of Bees Frank (Adrian Truss): “Me, too.”

Tommy: “They’re huge, and they’re sting crazy!”

Cop afraid of Bees Frank: “We’ll come back later and check on you!”

Cop afraid of Bees: “Yeah, in a while.”

Richard: “Save yourself!”

Tommy: “Your firearms are useless against them!”

Listen up

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Ah, Vinny, I will miss you. But, it was your time. Sure, you’ll like San Diego with its fancy new stadium, and the warm dry summer, but I’ll always remember those hot nights we spent together at RFK. That magical opening game where you almost hit for the cycle, and so many other wonderful moments. No, it’s not that we love Ryan better, though he is younger, faster and better, but it’s that we need pitching. That’s why we traded you for a guy who went 7-15 with an ERA of nearly 5. Sorry dude, but you’re just too good for us. Really, we mean it, it’s not you, it’s us.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Once upon a time I went to school in DC for drama and even acted here for a while, but after falling out of it I failed to really keep up with the local theater scene. It’s a shame, because DC theater is thriving, with choices ranging from top-notch repertory houses to cutting-edge fringes. I’ve been meaning to start seeing more theater for a while now, but the successful marriage of hectic scheduling and procrastination have managed to keep my resolution unfulfilled.

When I was a teenager I used to take the train into NYC with my friends, stand in line at the half-price ticket booth, pick a play from what was available, and that was it. No advance planning, beyond a very rough idea of what was on and what Frank Rich hated. So while thinking of a way to jump-start my resolution, I remembered that DC has a half-price ticket place as well, and am now determined to use it to end my theater-going slump.

TICKETplace, newly moved to 407 Seventh Street in Penn Quarter, sells discounted tickets every day for that evening’s performance. You can purchase them online (starting at 12pm) or in person (starting at 11am), and you can also sign up for a daily email listing the current offerings.

So tonight I’m off with a friend to see a play that we’ll just randomly pick from what’s available. Hopefully this will inspire me enough to continue with theater-going. We’ll see how it goes…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I was getting my coffee this morning (much needed, thank you), when the cover the City Paper caught my eye. “Wait a second,” went the voice in my head, “Why does she look familiar?” Oh right! I see her on the corner of 18th and L on the weekend, clutching a sheaf of t-shirts for sale. The slogan always catches my eye, as they read, “Stop Bitching and Start a Revolution,” in white text on a plain black shirt, my favorite style. Yet, there’s always something about these folks that just screams “OMG Creeepy!” Now I know what the creepy is all about.

See, they’re agrarian cultists, amongst other things. They told me they were underground artists. Really, they’re just farmers who Believe. Definitely worth a read. Well Done, City Paper.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Well, I dunno if anyone told you, but Web 2.0 is here, and that means the browser wars are making a reappearance, but in the form of extensible services. First it was Google Maps. It was awesome, gave great direction, gave you cool features and a slick interface. But it was limited in scope. Directions were only between two locations. Adding a third location was a no go. No traffic data to help plan your route.

Enter Yahoo Maps new Beta.

Want to go from Arlington to DC to Leesburg? No problem.

Want live traffic data on the map, too? No problem.

Nearest ATM? Gas Station? Laundry? No problem. All there.

Restaurants? With Reviews? Sure, why not?

Email? Sure. Print? Sure.

The only thing that’s left of Yahoo Maps is to advertise the nascent application, which it purported, would do with the help of some white hat links. The metadata in the new beta gives out what sort of traffic problem you might be facing. Of course, DC looks like a major road hazard right now with all kinds of road construction going on this morning, but better to know that P St is torn up before you go out, so you can leave extra time before you have to be at your next meeting off Dupont.

Can Google keep up? Damned if I know, but it’ll be interesting to see how that works out in the long run. What do you make of our two competing map services?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I know I said I wasn’t going to do a lot of wedding-related whining over here, but as Jenn Larsen said to me last night at the MBDC meetup, “thousands of women across the city need this information!”

As you may recall, Tom and I chose Glen Echo Park as the site for our wedding reception. The National Park Service has granted an exclusive contract to Ridgewells Catering to be the only caterer allowed in the park.

Ridgewells has a reputation for being, shall we say, a bit more high-end than the picnic-in-the-park kind of event we’re going for, so before we committed to Glen Echo, Tom called Ridgewells just to get an idea of what the cost would be like. He spoke to Polly Ernst, who handles all the events at Glen Echo Park. When he asked for a ballpark figure of what we could expect to pay for a barbecue-type reception there, she said “$50-$75 per person.”

That seemed a little high to us, but since the park doesn’t provide things like tables and chairs, we figured it was worth the money for the rentals and whatnot.

We decided to put down a deposit at Glen Echo Park, budgeting about $6000 for catering in our plans. Then Tom called Ridgewells to get a firm quote.

Two days later, Polly got back to him. Suddenly, magically, the quote was for nearly $100 per person.

So let me get this straight. Before we committed to a venue at which Ridgewells has the catering monopoly, we were told $50-$75. After we locked ourselves into the Ridgewells monopoly, the price nearly doubled. In the space of a week.

Fuck off, you deceitful bastards.

Now we’re reconsidering the whole plan (for the event, not for the marriage!), which may involve a reschedule, venue change, and severe curtailing of the guest list, all because one of the biggest players in the local Bridal Industrial Complex hears “wedding” and sees an opportunity for price gouging. Thanks a lot, assholes.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

…One of those days where you just loathe your city?

I used to really love this city. It was magical to me. Gosh, there’s the Capitol! And the White House! And the Washington Monument! And holy crap the Smithsonians! These days, though, the sight of the 14th St. Bridge is enough to make me swear like a sailor, and the mere mention of the cherry trees causes me to recoil with hatred for the tour busses that infect this city like roaches.

I need to get my DC Groove back. What gets you out of your DC funk?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

So, much ado has been made over the Metro “Dictionary” ads, and this morning, I saw my very first one.

God what a fucking waste of my fare money.

Doorker? Are you kidding me? Dude, it’s not the guy on the train that’s the problem, because really it’s not like he’s got anywhere else to stand on a 4 car blue line train during rush hour. The real problem are the idiots on the platform, who hover in front of the doors before anyone else can get off. The other day I was on a rush hour red line train, and there were literally 20 people blocking the path out of the train car at Farragut North. That’s the fucking problem, Metro.

Of course, surely, the new Ridership Committee will solve all this? Right? Wait, why are you laughing like that? You mean, Metro did that to assuage public concern but they have no intention of listening? Oh. I get it now…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Really?!

Originally uploaded by tjbax.

So there we were, at 19th and N, trying to figure out which client to take Halloween candy to next, when I saw it.

“Hey Steph, you get a free rose just for being named Stephanie.”

“What? Awesome!”

So she marched right into Palace Florists and asked for her rose. Which they gave her, happily.

I’m told by our client across the street that Palace does that a lot, and change the name frequently.

So stroll by and see if it’s your day to get a rose.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Friend of DC Metblogs Tohubohu Productions and former DC Metblogger Julia Montgomery have teamed up on an entry for the National Film Challenge which is entitled “Homemade Hero” (Quicktime 7 required) and it’s an outstanding short film.

The NFC requires that the film be entirely created in 48 hours; writing, directing, acting, shooting, cutting, editing, production, the whole nine yards in a two day span. Each team in required to use specific objects and categories as part of their entry, to be assigned on the opening day of the competition. This year’s entry required Tohubohu to come up with a superhero movie on a shoestring budget in less than 48 hours and they’ve done an outstanding job.

Nicely done, Julia and Tohubohu!!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

The White House Historical Society, as many of you probably know, releases commemorative Christmas ornaments each year. The ornaments benefit the work of the Society, which was founded by Jackie Kennedy. If your family is like mine, stuff like this is a godsend for holiday shopping, especially since I’ve got my future in-laws to think about this year as well, i just hope I’m able to find a macys promo code online this year.

My grandparents are impossible to shop for- when they want something, they just go out and get it. But you can’t just run out to the local mall in Pittsburgh to pick up a White House Christmas ornament. Sure, there are places to get them online, but for the most part, this is a nice little only-in-DC kind of gift. Your out-of-town family might enjoy being the only people they know to have such a thing.

The Historical Society also wisely chooses nice, non-controversial subjects for its ornaments each year. Afraid your feisty, left-wing auntie might not want a White House ornament because she hates George Bush? Not to worry- this year’s ornament commemorates President James Garfield. Not only can you not get all politically worked up over a guy who was President more than 100 years ago, he also didn’t have time to do anything really offensive- he was assassinated 6 months after taking office.

And they’re inexpensive, too. So go get your grandma an ornament. Show her that you’re thinking of her, even from hundreds of miles away. She can say to her nosy neighbor who asks, “Oh, my granddaughter who lives in WASHINGTON got that for me. She walked over to the White House on her lunch hour and picked it up, because she works near there, you know.”

And do it now, because after Thanksgiving, the line will be out the door and around the block.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Last night’s commute was the worst I’ve had that didn’t involve some sort of crazed lunatic making threats. No, everything was hunky dorry in the city last night, except for the idiots in the vehicles. I realize it’s now dark when folks leave work and this means an adjustment, but I did not expect that that meant my commute going from 25-30 minutes to well over an hour last night. It’s not like we’re going to Springfield or Takoma Park or Leesburg for crying out loud, we’re going to Fairlington! But there we sat, as idiots clogged intersections and blocked the precious box, as lights began to mean less and less the closer you got to downtown’s core.

Please, folks, don’t let this happen again. You wouldn’t like me angry.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

At around 8pm I blew out the candle in my jack-o-lantern and turned off the front light. I’d run out of candy, so trick-or-treating was done for my house.

This Halloween night was a banner one, seeing twenty-five costumed youngsters clamouring for candy starting at 6pm – an unheard of number in my neighborhood. The first few years we’ve lived here I felt lucky if I saw two. Though I celebrated Halloween the adult way, with a crazy house party on Saturday, I still love the idea of trick-or-treats and really try to answer the door every time it rings with a smile and a handful of chocolate goodies. It’s my civic duty, in a way.

This year, I had a pretty miserable Halloween day as I spent it in bed with a rotten cold, but I grumbled and got myself up and dressed to meet the kids anyway. I don’t even especially like children, but I remember how sad it was growing up in a neighborhood where there was no other kids and no tricks-or-treats, so I aim to give them what I didn’t get…

Apparently my spending all day in bed turned me into the scariest lady on the block, for one small boy of four years old or so was absolutely terrified of me. He was dressed in a skeleton costume and backed away in fright when I opened the door, trying to hid next to the pumpkin. I didn’t think I looked that hideous but then again, kids always know your true nature. I was the Evil Frightful Witch of S Street to him. The conversation went something like this:

Skeleton’s sister: Say “trick-or-treat” to the nice lady!
Skeleton: (shakes his head and backs away)
Sister: Come on, she’ll give you candy. Don’t you want any candy?
Skeleton: (barely whispering) No.
Sister: (shocked) You don’t want any candy???!!!
Skeleton: No.
Sister: Well, apologize to the nice lady for wasting her time.
Skeleton: (looking up at the lady with big eyes) S-s-sorry. I’m sorry.
Evil Frightful Lady: Awwww….. come on, open your bag. I forgive you. Here’s some candy anyway.

And so the terrible witch of S Street’s cold heart was melted. Maybe kids aren’t so bad after all…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Holy crap, Steve Case Resigned from AOL today. He’s the co-founder of America Online, the world’s most despised ISP (sorry Narni), and worth about sixty bajillion dollars, but he’s no longer working there. Folks, this is the end of an era, and an interesting day for DC-based AOL, perhaps this means they’ll find a CEO that’s not unwilling to talk about business in non-jargon terms. In his departing statement, Case said “Leaving Time Warner’s Board will give me a greater opportunity to grow Revolution, including avoiding any potential conflicts of interest as Revolution moves into new areas,”

I really do loathe the term “grow the business” as it apparently was invented by an MBA student with a pathetic understanding of the English language, and Case is no exception here. What is it with this town that spawns such horrid phrases?!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

DC is playing host to the Serious Games Summit this week, which features discussion of “work” gaming, or in their jargon “non-entertainment gaming” including applications for healthcare, military uses, etc. Water Cooler Games is blogging the conference including this morning’s keynote about the art and science of Game Design. Looks like a spiffy thing if you’re interested in Real World Play and don’t mind the commute to the Crystal Gateway Marriott and shelling out $800.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Monday pub quiz at Four Courts in Arlington goes on as usual on Halloween, except that they encourage you to dress up and will be giving extra prizes for the best costume.

Maybe you could dress up as James Joyce, the Irish writer who seems to be an answer in the picture round Every. Freaking. Week.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs