That’s right, folks, our Washington Wizards are on the doorstep to the playoffs. Sure, for a long time it was a given, but with the way the last couple of weeks have unfolded, you’d have thought we were watching the Clippers instead of a playoff caliber team! But now, with five games left, the Wiz have captured a winning record for the first time since 1998, and are knocking on the door of the playoffs. Their Magic Number is 1, meaning any Wizards win, or NJ Nets loss will put them squarely into the post-season.

It sure is nice to have a playoff caliber team in town, what with Hockey being defunct, the Nationals being brand new, and the Redskins being managed by Dan Snyder…

Of course, there’s always our other, less well known, far more well decorated soccer team: The DC United. They’ve got 4 MLS championships and are currently defending MLS champions. Playing at RFK, they’ll be sharing the field with the Nationals in an expense arrangement to re-configure the field for their home games, at a cost of $40,000 a pop. Of course, I’d move the field for the reigning league champs, too…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

That’s right, New York has it’s 50 Most Loathsome, but somehow in DC, we can only come up with 28 Loathsome people. Dude. 28. I can find 28 Loathsome people, and that’s just in one quarter mile of one lane of Beltway traffic during rush hour!

It’s no surprise that snark is the order of the day in this town, given all the political canoodling, protesting, and amazing bitterness that resides here as part of the “ambience” of the city. Here are some folks that ought to have been on that list:

James Carville – Have you ever seen this guy? Have you ever heard him speak? Brilliant, but oh so very loathsome.

Mary Matalin – Hey, they are the most loathsome couple in politics? Who’s the dom and who’s the sub? It’s not even fun to guess.

Abe Pollin – Dude, the guy chased Michael Jordan out of town. That’s pretty loathsome.

The Family Research Council – I feel dirty just writing that.

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas – Just ask to see his Long Dong Silver Collection…

Senator Ted Stevens – The guy wants to regulate HBO. Fuck him AND his high horse.

oh, and last but not least…

DCist Art Critic JT Kirkland who seems to think DCist gets about 10 times as much traffic as it actually does.

Damn that snark!

Update: Just a quick update for JT’s benefit, I don’t think you’re the most loathsome person in DC, that honor clearly befits the driver of the Tour Bus who parked his ass on 14th street during rush hour the other day. HE is clearly the most loathsome mofo in DC. You, however, are just loathsome. Oh, and JT, the least you could do is spell my name right. Of course, you are loathsome, I don’t expect much more from you.

Update 2: JT and I are cool now (spelling my name right would be a plus, btw). I no longer find him as loathsome as Stevens, Thomas and Carville. I’m also cool with all of DCist. Jake, however, I am not cool with. So let’s add Jake as an honorary DCasshat instead. Claiming the moral high ground when in fact you possess no ground at all is craptacular, Jake. Don’t treat us as a pity case. We’re your peers, like it or not.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

So there I was, car idling two cars back at a stoplight at Wilson Boulevard and Garfield Street in Arlington. My right turn signal was on, because I was headed to the parking lot next to Hunan One. The light changed, and I moved forward and started my right turn.

Whoosh! As the car started to ease right, a guy on a bicycle zipped past on my right side, narrowly missing an unpleasant meeting with my right front fender. I braked out of reflex and then moved my foot back to the gas to continue the turn, cursing under my breath. I moved further into the turn, and what happened but ANOTHER asshat on a bicycle passed me on the right, this time swerving a little bit to miss my front bumper. It happened so fast I didn’t even have time to honk.

What the hell? If I’d been going just a little bit faster, I’d have squished him and I would have been the bad guy with my big, mean, automobile (an oh-so-intimidating VW Beetle) who ran over that poor, defenseless bicyclist who has the same right to be on the road that I do. Right.

That’s called natural selection, and these asshats barely missed it.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

The Treasury Department has a duck. The duck has built a nest in a pile of mulch outside the Treasury building and the Secret Service has erected metal barriers to protect the next until the ducklings hatch near the end of this month. She’s right outside the main entrance, so all the visiting dignitaries pass right by the nest.

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The Virginia Legislature has adjourned without extending the authorization of red light cameras, and as a result, their use cannot continue past July 1st, 2005. Sorry Arlington and Fairfax, no more easy fundraising for you! Besides, there’s a VDOT study that shows they’re causing more accidents anyhow.

Want to stop red light abuse? Make it an expensive ticket with serious points and consequences, not a letter and a $50 fine.

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For those of you who enjoy a mean or friendly game of cards, Poker Legend Phil Gordon is giving a Poker seminar at Fado on Tuesday night at 7:30. The tournament he’s hosting that night is already full. I offered my first born, Nationals Tickets and some really blurry pictures of Marion Barry in flagrante delicto to the tournament director, but it was of no use. Get there early, and we’ll see if we can’t sneak you in the side door.

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This morning, while riding to work, an odd question came to my mind. We drove up 395 through mostly sparse traffic (hooray for Friday!) and over the 14th St. Bridge, past the Tidal Basin all pink with cherries and took the 12th St. Exit.

Passing under the streets of DC, I noticed something odd about the lights of the tunnel. At the southern end of the tunnel, the lights are constant, one after another, for about a third of the length of the tunnel. Then, it goes down to groups of three. Then two. Then one.

lightlightlight lightlightlight lightlightlight

lightlight lightlight lightlight

light light light.

Why is that? Did they run out of lamp fixtures? Decide it was too bright at the North end of the tunnel? Not have enough amperage to run the whole string?

Odd. What are your commuting oddities, dear readers?

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Come one, come all to the sporadically-scheduled-but-always-on-a-Thursday Blogorama at Kalorama, organized by the incomparable Julian Sanchez. It’s at the Rendezvous Lounge at 18th and Kalorama tonight at 7. Come on out and meet the people behind some of the DC blogosphere’s most famous faces pseudonyms.

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The Nats have picked up their first win in franchise history, beating the Phillies 7-3. Better still, Brad Wilkerson, “The Kentucky Masher”, hit for the cycle, garnering a single, a double, a triple and a home run against the Phils tonight. Eischen picks up his first win in relief, taking over for Zach Day, who went five and two-thirds, recordings 3 Ks along the way. Guillen and Wilkerson both had home runs.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

A coworker and I had dinner this evening with someone we placed in a permanent job a while back. He took us to Penang in Bethesda.

I’m not going to write a detailed review, seeing as how I don’t remember the name of anything I ate, and I stopped asking what was in it after the incident I am about to relate- neither my coworker nor I had Malaysian food before, and so we allowed our Burmese dinner companion to order some dishes for the table. This didn’t concern me at all- I’m pretty adventurous about ethnic food and will try anything once.

The food was great- the lamb dish we had was my particular favorite- but I did have an Indiana Jones moment early on (remember the banquet scene in Temple of Doom with the monkey brains?) when the appetizers were brought to the table.

Most of the food on the platter looked tasty, but there were these brownish-black, translucent, wobbly crescents with cloudy black goo dribbled over the concave part- not at all appetizing. There were two of them and three of us, so I figured that discretion was the better part of valor and would let the boys eat them.

But my friend spooned one up and put it on my plate. “You have to try this,” he said, grinning. I wondered if he was having a laugh at my expense.

“What is it?”

“It’s an egg!” I had always assumed that thousand-year-old eggs were myths that ignorant white people came up with about Asian cuisine. Apparently I was wrong.

I blinked at the wobbly, gooey thing on my plate and pondered the limits of my adventurous spirit. My friend chuckled at me. Okay Tiff, other people eat this stuff all the time and do just fine, they even like it, so don’t be a wuss. I screwed up my courage, put the egg on my fork, and ate it.

It wasn’t completely revolting. But I wouldn’t call it tasty, either. Mostly I tried not to think too hard about what it looked like while I was chewing it. It felt like an episode of Fear Factor.

But I swallowed it. My initiation complete, the meal continued. Great food, great conversation. And then our friend insisted that we get a dessert he called “the ABC’s.” The description in the menu seemed harmless enough- shaved ice, sweet syrup, jelly, corn. Sort of a Malaysian snow cone.

And it actually was pretty good- it was in layers, so as you ate it, you’d find new layers of something else- all things I couldn’t identify and didn’t ask about, having learned my lesson.

But then I got to the bottom. On my spoon was this translucent, dark-colored, wobbly chunk. Surely not another egg? It sort of looked like Jell-O, maybe it was the jelly mentioned on the menu?

I took a bite and chewed, but I couldn’t purge the thought of that egg from my mind, so I gagged. Hoping my friend hadn’t heard me, I protested that I was full and that although the ABC’s were very good, I couldn’t finish. I tried not to stare as he ate his slowly melting dessert, with all those multi-colored bits of… whatever it was floating in it.

Overall? Great food, try the lamb, but avoid the eggs. *shudder*
(crossposted to Quibbling.net.)

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

To continue our occasional series in which we bitch about the outlandish cost of living in DC…

The cost of housing is now so ridiculous in and around DC, so completely out of the realm of sanity, that people are now living in RV parks rather than trying to buy or rent traditional housing here.

Do I even have to say it? Is it not shocking that renting space in a campground for $1400/month is a more attractive option and trying to rent an apartment or buy a house?

And yet civil engineers wonder why people insist on living farther and farther from their places of work, clogging transportation systems with their daily commute.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

The Orioles begin their season at Camden Yards this afternoon against the Oakland A’s. For those who want to see opening day baseball but don’t want to spend $350 for a pair of seats, there are plenty of tickets available for today’s contest against the Oakland A’s.

Didn’t Angelos say there were no true baseball fans in DC? Then why is the Nats home opener sold out, but you can still get really great seats (section 46, row YY at press time) in Baltimore?

The Nats start their season in Philadelphia this afternoon, sending Livan Hernandez to the mound against Jon Lieber. The Phillies are also debuting new manager Charlie Manuel, and Frank Robinson is heading up our Nationals.

I love Opening Day. I’m convinced it ought to be a National Holiday where we glorify the history of the game, and wrap ourselves in the memories of heroes gone by. Where we connect ourselves to the past and for a day and watch the game our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers watched in the afternoons in palaces built for the game in the midst of metropolises across the land.

But for now, I shall just be happy to have a team in DC and some games to go to! Go Nationals!

Update: Top of the Fourth in Baltimore, O’s 3, A’s 0. Bottom of the Fourth in Philly, Nats 1, Phillies 3

Update 2 Leaving for home now, Nats down 7-4, O’s up 4-0.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

This morning’s New York Post (alright, yes, I know) has an interesting piece on the trash cans at Grand Central Station in NYC. Apparently, they’re not so bomb-proof after all:

Bomb-smothering trash cans in New York rail hubs don’t work and could even make a terror blast more deadly by shredding you with shrapnel, say two whistleblowers who worked with the maker of the cans.

Wait, didn’t DC just order a bunch of those trash cans for $800,000 or so?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Two weeks hence, at Filmfest DC 2005, Iraqi Blogger Salam Pax will be unveiling his collection of 9 shorts shot in Iraq. Shows will be at the E Street Cinema (15 April, 9:30p) and at the Avalon Theatre (16 April 6:30p). Tickets are available through the website.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Saturday will mark the beginning of the summer concert season, when Dave Matthews Band tickets go on sale for his June 26th concert at Nissan Pavilion. Also coming to Nissan this summer are Jimmy Buffett (parrot heads rejoice, but get your seats on Ebay, it’s sold out) on June 15th, Mötley Crüe on August 13th, and Brooks and Dunn on August 20th.

I got to see DMB at Nissan two summers back, and parking issues aside, it was a great place to see a show, and DMB did not disappoint in person. Lawn seats are $39.50 and Reserved seats are $57.00.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

We’re debuting a new feature today here at DC Metroblogging, called Metblogs’ Favorites, where our authors give out some of their very favorite spots to drink, eat, walk, run, take photos, become more culturally aware or take in the sights. Our first category is Happy Hour Spots. So delve deeper into the minds of our authors and enjoy this round of Happy Hour Picks.

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This is where our coverage of the White House Easter Egg Roll would have gone had the event not been canceled two hours into it by the pouring rain on Monday.

Of course, the good news is, we all got an unexpected Take Your Canoe to Work Day.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

If you’re looking for a Food Network TV Personality to stalk see this weekend, you’ll be happy to know you’re in luck. Giada de Laurentiis will be signing her book at the Williams-Sonoma on Wisconsin Avenue in Northwest this Sunday, April 3rd, from 1 to 2:30. Though I find her smile frequently larger than any smile ought to be and a little bit nervous and forced, her Italian cooking is absolutely top notch, and let’s face it, she’s got a gorgeous…kitchen.

You thought I was going to say rack, didn’t you. perv.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Famous from John Belushi’s portrayal of their surly stylings behind the counter, the Billy Goat Tavern will be expanding to new metropolitan areas in the not too distant future according to Chicagobusiness.com. Looks like we get our own purveyor of sports-team-curses and cheezborgers. No word yet where the new BGT will appear, or even when, but initial reports tell us that they are no match for Five Guys.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I don’t know how many of you remember reading about Arlington’s implementation of OCR cameras last spring to help them catch drivers with unpaid parking tickets and property taxes.

I was sort of uncomfortable with it at the time, but can’t tell if it’s really my libertarian principles that are bothered or if it’s just that I know how bad I am with things like property tax paperwork. I mean, is it really and unreasonable search to read your plate number when your car is parked on a public street just because they use a camera and a computer instead of a human and a phone to do it?

But a line is being crossed: This month, the county began using the cameras to find, and possibly tow, your vehicle for everything from unpaid parks and recreation fees to overdue library books.

I’ve got to leave for work in a minute, so I don’t quite have time to go into the several levels of invective I’ve got reserved for county officials who think the theft a person’s source of transportation is an appropriate response to forgetful people who don’t return library books. I don’t have time to talk about what a monumentally stupid thing it is to deter people from the use of public libraries by threatening the family car should they slip up and lose a book.

But I do have time to point out the danger of giving this technology to a bureaucracy so inefficient and forgetful that they are still trying to tax me for a car that I sold over a year ago- No doubt, the tag number from my old car will be in their database of offenders, seeing as how they have threatened to put a lien on it. Good luck finding it, guys- the dealer where I traded it in sold it at auction. It’s probably halfway to Nebraska by now.

And this is but the smallest of previews of my rage should the situation in Arlington County reach the level of that in New Haven, CT, where people’s cars are being stolen from private driveways over tax bills as low as $85.

Have any of you fallen victim to the roving eye of Big Brother Arlington?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs