image courtesy of The Neo-Futurists

Metroblogging Chicago has been holding out on us. Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind came to Wooly Mammoth by way of the Chicago troupe The Neo-Futurists. Over at Chicago Metblogs there’s at least three different articles that Fuzzy has written about them and their projects.

I managed to get in to see their signature piece at Wooly at the last minute and was glad I did. Presenting thirty plays in sixty minutes, TMLMTBGB is a collection of shorts that are written by the people that are performing them. In this case it was Bilal Dardai, Dean Evans, Sharon Greene, Kristie Koehler, and Jay Torrence. When I got to speak to Sharon after the show I found out exactly what this means to the content of the show.

The neo-futurists are up-front about the way the show is conducted – a clothesline which has the numbers one through thirty hangs across the stage, just out of easy reach – and what hangs on that clothesline changes from show to show, as one or more shows come out of the rotation and are replaced by others. It’s performed by the person who wrote it and may include some or all of the rest of the ensemble.

What’s not obvious from the introduction or the handout is the fact that the neo-futurists are comprised of more than these five performers. Notably more, in fact, as when I asked Sharon about traveling shows or for-hires she said they had enough people to run one or two traveling shows and keep the weekly performances in Chicago running, all at once. Which means that not only does any show you wander into get changed between runs, it gets changed based on the potentially changing cast as well.

The really criminal thing here in this writeup is that I’ve made it to paragraph five before telling you that it was 100% awesome. Every performer was bursting with energy and clearly having a great time, something that made every single play fun even if I didn’t care for it. Not that there were many I didn’t find delightful, though some pieces like 26,558 were moving and powerful and completely delight-free. I’m going to be in Chicago next month, and #1 on my list of things to do is going to be to catch at least one show so I can share this fun with my darling girlfriend.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

In the interest of finally wrapping this up (not to mention getting a little more content up here today – I think we’re all just in shock that we somehow moved to Oregon and nobody told us), this is the quickest of my remaining Fringe writeups. It’s also the most eh of what I have left.

Petpourri was one of the most common of Fringe maladies, the cabaret show. My darling girlfriend and I went to this one with the expectation that it would be at worst a little treacle-y and and best amusing. We seemed to have been in the minority – a friend’s reaction was “you WENT to that?”

Were this the trainwreck that certain other shows had been I’d give them that as fair play, but it was fine, if not what we expected. The four person cast from the In Series acquitted themselves well enough, though I’d say Richard Tappen consistently performed an order of magnitude better than his costars. One lone song turned up the schmaltz to 11, with another a little heavy on the cheese but acceptable.

The biggest issue I had with it was I found the material uninspired and a little limp. I can hear you already: I decided to go to a cabaret show with a pet theme – what did I expect? Something a little more contemporary (half the material was depression era), maybe a little funnier if not ironic. Ah well. I found the performance and the players impressive enough that I’ll consider going to their upcoming shows, Moon / Dance or maybe Cole & Noel.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

awesome image from Sadly No

In other similar news, water is wet and fire hot. However the Machinist blog feels the need to discuss that Fishbowl DC’s July 30th Hottest media types results was a complete load of bunk, gamed by voting bots and multiple entries.

Well, okay.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty well prepared article and nicely linked to a bunch of related and supporting information. But I can’t be the only person who thinks he’s more likely to find a sober Kennedy than an accurate online poll, can I?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Every week I religiously read Tom Sietsema’s DC dining chat on Washington Post. It’s always entertaining, very often for reasons that have nothing to do with food. Unbelievable incidents of entitlement huffs and dining rage are reported constantly, and depending on my Wednesday mood barometer I either chortle or despair. Today was a despair day thanks to this tasty little item:

Washington, D.C.: Someone in your chat two weeks ago spoke of a “phantom” reservation taker at Matchbox, which does not take same-day reservations. I think I know what happened. They dialed the wrong number — probably forgot the 202 area code and they were calling from Virginia. I am also a phantom reservation taker. My cell phone number is the same number as a popular restaurant in Virginia (except with a 202 area code), and I get at least 1 call a day for it. I usually take a reservation. It’s easier than explaining they have the wrong number and hopefully it teaches them not to do it again.

Tom Sietsema: Please tell me you’re joking — and if you’re not, please consider the consequences. Do you realize how many special occasions your once-a-day reservation taking might ruin? Or how tough you might be making it for the staff at the front desk?

Apparently it doesn’t occur to them, Tom. All they can think about is their own misguided crusade to dispense twisted anti-etiquette lessons. Who the hell does this Reservation Robin Hood think they are, taking this kind of attitude? “Easier than explaining”?? How is that? And how would it “teach them not to do it again” if they have no idea they were taken advantage of like that?

I had a phone number once that was one number shy of a congressional office, and it never occured to me to chat with the incorrect dialer about policy issues. Gosh, maybe I should’ve. I’m really stunned, but then again, perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

photo courtesy of DJ Riel

Well, I’ve been pretty derelict in my posting the last few weeks. Sorry – I’ve been working on three fairly major life changes (no Wayan, none of those are my gender), one of which is a new place of employment. Between the stress and the short-timer’s disease it’s played hell with my productivity.

I’ve still got four Fringe shows to write up and tell you about. While that might seem a little pointless, all four were interesting in their content and were put on by local folks with more things to come. Several may show up again in another venue and besides, if I don’t tell you about one of them then how will you know where to go take trapeze lessons?

I will admit, however, that in none of these will I be able to tell you about any vacuums, dwarves, or dwarves’ penises. Edinburgh, the start of it all, continues to be farther out there than us. Thank grod.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Well Dressed Burrito

Hungry at lunchtime I took Kate’s advice, and searched out the Well Dressed Burrito.

This is not an easy task. Located in an alley, with only a tiny sign and even smaller lunch-only hours, you’re lucky to find it, open or not. But do not let that make you think its unloved.

On the contrary, the day I was there it was packed. A line 20 people deep by the time of my arrival, it’s a beauty of efficiency. You order and money is taken before you realize it and you then wait for the Tex-Mex goodness.

Don’t despair, it’s worth the wait. The burritos are divine, the platters filling, and yet…

Do you really think the Well Dressed Burrito is worth the hype or the alley location?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Apparently, over the weekend, an 8 term Congressman from California was involved in an incident at Dulles Airport. The Congressman was fairly well upset with his delayed bag and managed to push his way past security and airline employees, who eventually pressed charges for misdemeanor assault and battery.

I mean, I understand get the frustration of the slow baggage claim, but there’s no reason to be a douchebag about it, Congressman…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I saw this graffiti in my neighborhood and was shocked. Well, I wasn’t so surprised that there was graffiti. There are a million kids in the neighborhood with nothing to do but go grabassing up and down the streets all day because school is out. I was mostly disturbed by the fact that what is supposed to be a “u” looks more like an “o.” What are the youth of today learning in school? It is a properly formed sentence, if you forgive either the penmanship or else the misspelling of the verb but you can really only forgive one of these two errors.

If the word is spelled correctly and someone just went a little crazy with the Sharpie, that’s fine, sentiments aside. If the penmanship is correct and that’s an “o” then these kids don’t know how to spell “fuck.” That’s a tragedy.

Arlington County, being the fine place it is, cleaned up the ART Bus sign in short order, so now I can read the bus timetable without getting flustered and embarrassed. I wish I could catch those little bastards in the act of vandalism, though, so I could give them a grammar lesson, or at least teach them how to spell.

The real messages I should be delivering here, specifically, “Don’t be hating,” or, “Don’t be vandalizing, you little turd,” would be completely lost on today’s youth, I am afraid. I think I will leave that to the families. Usually kids learn the really important lessons about these values at home, right? I thought so. If that’s true, maybe I should go preach to my neighbors a little about what they are teaching their kids.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

photo courtesy of The Kennedy Center

I didn’t make it out for the Week o Accordion at the Kennedy Center, but a friend of mine went one evening. The subject line of this post covers the exchange we had about it. She suggested examining the feed footage on their website, which I am doing now. I think I concur with her review, though it’s about 60% painful for me.

Not they they’re not technically accomplished, and it’s impressive some of the pieces the orchestras full of accordions are capable of doing renditions of. However it brings to mind for me a quote that I was told was an old Russian proverb: “It’s not impressive how well the bear dances, but that it dances at all.” For my money the best bit I’ve heard so far is what sounds like a German beer hall tune (at the 48 minute mark), not the Bach or modern pieces. I’m a victim of my own prejudice here, I am sure. Go listen and decide for yourself.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Doug Clifton said it well. This place is a rip-off for many things but I knew that when I went in the door to get some stuff I didn’t want to drive all the way to My Organic Market for.

I was in the bakery section and saw this. $5.03. For what, you might wonder? What could possibly be so good and delicious and wrapped in that plastic wrap, adorned with that sticker? Caviar, maybe? No. Nova Scotia lox? Uh-uh. Try again. Well, it must be something really valuable to be in so small a package and cost so much, right? Wrong.

It was five slices of bread. For $5. One dollar per slice. I am not making this up. I actually had a little outburst and embarrassed my lovely wife when I saw this. Whole Foods – what the hell are you thinking?

What prices have you been outraged by at Whole Foods? If you have been there at all, I am sure you have seen something crazy like this.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Summer vacation is coming to an end, which means a probable decrease in tourist conversations on the Metro like this one:

Tourist 1: So where do we get off?
Tourist 2: “Metro Central,” I think. It’s after Gallery Place. Is this it?
Tourist 1: I don’t think so. This is Gallery P.I.
Tourist 2: What’s “P.I.” stand for?
Tourist 1: No idea.
Me: *facepalm*

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Sadly, no. When I saw the WTOP headline Treated Sewage to Operate Power Plant I thought perhaps we’d be seeing some new system similar to burning buffalo chips. Not the case, though. This is a pretty straight-forward use of what we’d have called “gray water” in South Florida. In a nutshell it means using the water from waste sources that’s been treated well enough to water your grass but not up to drinking standards.

People sometimes get a little worked up about it but it’s perfectly safe. My alma mater used to use it to water the lawns.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Giant line to get in…

Originally uploaded by tbridge.

how do you sell out RFK when the Nationals are terrible? Give oh Bobblehead dolls. This was the line to get into the stadium tonight as the team is giving away Abe Lincoln bobblehead dolls. The Nats have a rough row to hoe, with a sub .500 record and yet another starter sent down to the minors.

Well, here’s hoping we can pull off a curly w tonight!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Were you at the Cheltenham parking garage in Bethesda recently? Is this your sweet ride? I have to say – this really tickled me and brightened my day significantly. Thanks for adding to the factory paint job and keeping the DC area a fun, lighthearted place.

Has anyone else seen this vehicle? I love it!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs