Perhaps it’s a birthday, a stag/hen night, an anniversary, even a wedding. You’re in a large room dimly lit with fantastical gobo lights and tapping your feet to pulsating Moroccan music. A belly dancer expertly swings a scimitar about her head in a dazzling and terrifying display.

Marrakesh is one of those strange restaurant experiences that is always, always the same. A night there never deviates from the night you spent a year or two or several there before. Only the characters change. This makes the whole experience rather disconcerting, like eating deja vu.

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Let me guess, “Damn Government Set Me Up?”

See, he didn’t file his taxes for 6 years. But, because he’s on the city council, he’s gonna get a misdemeanor, and may not have to pay any penalties. They’re negotiating the deal now. All I know is, if I didn’t pay my taxes for six years, I’d be going to a federal pound me in the ass prison, not getting some deal like Marion. That’s all I’m sayin’.

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If you smelled something different today, it’s not the flower vendor, or the McDonalds’ fries, or the crazy homeless lady, it’s The Return of NHL Hockey. The strike that depressed Canada, and about six Americans, is finally over, and tonight the Caps return to the MCI Center to face their first opponent since early 2004. Of course, it doesn’t look all that great for our Caps, but with new rookie Alex Ovechkin in skates for the Caps for the first time, it might not be so bad after all.

Caps and Blue Jackets face off at 7pm tonight at MCI Center, and I hear that tickets can still be had, if you’re down with the hockey.

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I had missed this initially, but apparently over the weekend there was a small amount of Tularemia bacteria discovered by the Department of Homeland Security in one of their downtown bio detectors. Not enough to be concerned about, but enough to spark this awesome Fark headline: “Investigators conclude that rare toxic bacteria detected in D.C. during last weekend’s anti-war protest not a bio-weapon, but instead attributable to elevated presence of dirty hippies”

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While a number of public transportation authorities are telling William Bright, the iPod Subway Maps guy, to bugger off, our very own WMATA has the right idea and expresses its unreserved enthusiasm for the idea.

According to Metro spokesperson Lisa Farbstein, quoted in the Post article, “We want people to know how to get from one place to another on our system. If someone wants to put a map on their iPod, that’s fine.”

Way to support the reduction of confused tourists and recently-arrived residents, Metro. Now, let’s talk about those signs in the stations…

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Well how many can you? And I’m talking the fun nicknames for Safeways. Like the Soviet Safeway on 17th & Corcoran or the Senior Safeway in the Watergate and the Secret Safeway in that special spot that not even Safeway.com knows about.

Now while DCist had a recent run on naming grocery stores, they wandered over to Giants and yet skipped entire sections of town in their Safeway naming rage. This map, while interactive, also was too NW and yet Gallaudet went cross-country in their grocery store critique

The DC Metroblogging contest focuses just on Safeway’s, and just on those 10 that are within 10 miles of the White House. If you can make the best list, and the best case for your list, there’s a cool, limited edition DC Metroblogging T-shirt waiting for ya!

Wanna see the list & name your store? Then follow the jump…

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So, when it comes to pizza, I’m a little screwed in terms of delivery area. Listrani’s? North Arlington and DC only. Atlantis? Pick up only. Vace? Pick up only. So, I’m forced to go to my old stand by, Papa John’s. With a great online ordering tool, I don’t even have to call, I just pop online and go. So tonight, laid up with back spasms, and with nothing in the house for preparation, I fired up Safari and headed for the online pizza delivery site.

It’s now almost an hour and a half later.

I received my confirmation at 7:15 tonight, and here I sit at quarter to nine, hungry and angry. Papa John’s help line has been of no use, first hanging up on me, then putting me on hold for well over 10 minutes. All I wanted was pizza, all I’ve gotten is aggravation. Thanks a lot. So much for a good standby.

Also, having your specials as part of the hold message? Less than helpful. Especially to someone whose pizza is later than hell.

[Update] Without further explanation, I received a return call that said they couldn’t contact the store and that my pizza wasn’t coming. Thanks Papa Johns, for 90 minutes of waiting, and no pizza.

[Update 2] Email arrives reading, in part:

Dear Valued Papa John’s Online Customer,

We have been trying to contact you via phone regarding your recent Online Order, however, we have been unable to reach you.

Unfortunately, we will be unable to process your order at this time. Please feel free to contact your local restaurant or call our Customer Service hotline

Thanks for making it look like my fault, assholes.

[Update 3] Pizza arrived. Barely warm. At 9:20. You’re fired, Papa Johns.

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Thanks much to Sean over in LA for posting this, and revealing the borders of 90210 using an awesome new google hack that reveals the confines of zipcodes. 22206 is my home zip, and is pictured at right. It’s kinda nice to know where the one starts and the other stops.

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Saturday night we excitedly witnessed the fireworks kick-off the Kennedy Center’s Festival of China. Celebrating a friend’s thirtieth birthday from a hotel suite in Foggy Bottom, we were perfectly positioned for an impromptu view of the finale. It caused my friend to scream and jump up and down with glee, but apparently not all were made as happy – the Post reports today that many residents freaked out, fearing it was a terrorist attack.

Reading the article I scoffed at how nervous we’ve become and how sad it is that the simple pleasure of watching fireworks has been hijacked.

Until I remembered my own freakout and outrage at the unannounced fireworks that greeted Mexican president Vicente Fox at a state visit to the White House a few weeks before 9/11, and felt a bit sheepish.

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So my housemate is splitting town, heading to NYC for a change of scene. This leaves me with an empty room and 1/2 the rent to cover. At $1,280, its less than many one-bedrooms, but as I’m cheap and social, I’m gonna rent out the second room again.

Rent it out via the tried, true, and crazy Craigslist housing ads. I’ve personally had great luck in looking for a spot via Craigslist, better than relying on those who said they were friends anyway. That only leads to bittersweet birthdays.

No, through Craigslist I’ve had good moving times and I hope this will be no exception. At least in showing my place, I’m better than the crazies that lead to this Craigslist rant about the housing market in DC. I treat ’em right, with good tours, honest answers, and quick replies. Hey, its how I hope to be treated when I’m looking again.

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Sure, it took an overtime, and some seriously good kicking by Maryland rookie Nick Novak with his first ever NFL Field Goal, but the Redskins are 3-0, and one of just four undefeated teams in the league. Sitting atop the NFC East is no easy task, and you can expect that next week in Denver will be an interesting football game. I believe the song goes…

Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!

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Ah days like today are perfect for my favorite patio party time spot in DC, Fox & Hounds. There you can recline on a nice patio in surprisingly comfortable plastic chairs. A patio that thankfully for my tropical blood, faces West and captures the last warmth of the summer sun. Then the staff is joe-cool. With servers like Patrick to pour you one, you know you’ll be taken care of. Add to it the always-hot hostess manning the gate, and its getting good.

Now the best part – the cheap booze.

Fox and Hounds is the only place in DC that understands the way to pour a drink. They give you a full glass of vodka, not a wimp-ass shot, and they serve the tonic on the side, so you can mix at your leisure. Yes, the first few sips put hair on your chest, but damn, the ABV/USD (alcohol to dollar) ratio cannot be beat, as rail is $3 and call is $4.

Yep, only at Fox and Hounds can you bask in the setting sun while getting obliterated on cheap booze – what I’m doing right now. I just dare you to drink long enough to tell time by Fox and Hounds.

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So I am a little late, but I’m testing out the much hyped Dupont Wireless today and I’m not impressed. Not impressed because I am here in the horribly titled Biddy Mulligans, the Irish Bar in the Jury’s Hotel and Dupont Wireless is barely to be found. It pops up here and there, but not really here, or not enough to be useable.

That you can’t use it just outside the Dupont Circle of Life, and I am against the window that looks out on the Circle, does not impress. I might have better luck in the Circle, but first off, I can’t drink there, or at least not legally. In addition, the transmitter is supposedly on the roof of the hotel. That you can’t get wireless in the hotel that hosts the transmitter makes me shake my head in annoyance.

I picked this bar for the sole reason that I thought I could drink and surf. That I can’t do the latter and the former is no smoke free DC double disappoints. I guess Dupont is not wireless after all.

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