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shameless pimpage

I got a card in the mail at my office this week, hand-addressed to me, but I didn’t recognize the handwriting or the return address.

It was from Rebekah Phelps of Extra You, which seems to be the only apt name for her business. She redecorates your rooms, gets your bills paid on time, refreshes your wardrobe, and organizes your closets.

I had been quoted in the Washington Business Journal (fancy!), and Rebekah had clipped the item and mailed me a copy. How very thoughtful, and a smart marketing move, since it seems to me that her target demographic would be the busy professional likely to be quoted in the WBJ. I don’t have much need for her services at the moment, but I thought I could at least pass on the favor by giving her a little linky-love.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Avon Walk Today

If you see hordes of women in pink or blue walking through your neighbourhood today, do not be alarmed.

They are part of the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, a two day, 39 mile fundraising wander around the DC metro area.

While I am not sure where they’ve come from, or where they’re headed, they are wandering down 16th Street right about now.

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Geeks in the House

How do you know you are in a Geek conference? When you look out over the audience and there are more open laptops than open minds.

Here’s a back of the room view of a geek conference in the Fairmont Hotel. Click on the photo for a larger version – how many laptop screens can you count?

Better yet, what’s the percentage that are open to conference-related tasks? About the same as the percentage doing work-related tasks tomorrow.

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funny and cute

The Geek Comedy Tour 3000 is surprising not only for it side splitting comedy, it also has comedians that defy the “geek” profile. Take these three for example. They are funny and cute.

No word if they have a social life though. They probably spend as much time in front of a mirror reciting comedy lines as they do in front of a monitor killing Borgs. The tough life of a comedy geek.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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oh it hurts

Calling out Atari Glove at the Geek Comedy Tour 3000, we are laughing so hard it hurts.

Wait, is Ultimate Fighting Championship really Klingon porn?

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tentacle porn

This man is the first to ever to use “What I like about tentacle porn is..” in a sentence.

Geek Comedy Tour 3000 is under way and you should be here if only for the Star Wars references.

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Meet BVEGAN.

BVEGAN was on Route 28 with me the other day and I couldn’t help but notice her enthusiasm for animal issues. She loves her shelter dog and opposes puppy farms, and kudos to her for it. She’s a vegan and thinks it’s the humane alternative and, well, I don’t share her convictions beyond abstaining from veal, but good for her if she wants to make that kind of choice in her life.

And, as you can see in the picture, BVEGAN is a smoker.

I took the picture for my vanity plate collection because the irony made me smile. No red meat festering in your colon, but those lungs probably look a sight. I also wondered if she’d ever considered the environmental impacts of tobacco farming, which Dr Quandt seems to think is negative, but I’m on the fence about that. Then again, she probably didn’t care about environmental impact given what she did next.

BVEGAN pitched her cigarette butt out the window, and threw her hand below the seat to find her vape.

So I figured I’d help her get the attention she deserves as a littering jerk scumbag rather than just someone whose little hypocrisies (and let’s face it – we all have them) gave me a grin. It’s nice that you think you’re concerned about animal welfare, BVEGAN, but in practice you’re not. Cigarette butts are a plastic, slow to degrade and harmful to animals even beyond the birds and turtles that mistake them for food and choke to death. This puts aside the fact that you’re making the world suck a little more for us animals who like to enjoy what unblemished nature we can find. Not that you can find much of it where there’s not a cigarette butt lying around.

Want to further demonstrate your commitment to environmental issues, BVEGAN, aside from bumper stickers imploring me to make the humane choice and give up animal flesh and a $5 vanity plate? Next time you’re finished with a cigarette, take a look towards the center of your car’s dash, or maybe the center console. There’s this neat thing – kinda new, you might not have heard of it – called an ASHTRAY. Stub your butt out there. It conveniently collects them until you empty them out into an approved trash receptacle, minimizing litter and it even has the positive side effect of reducing the chance that you’ll cause a fire with your still lit butt.

If you’re not real fond of this idea because you don’t want ugly trash stinking up your car, well, now you know how the rest of us feel about our lawns, rivers, ponds and sidewalks.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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So, we’re not the only ones they’re fucking?

Well, well, well.

Look what the cat dragged in.

Apparently the bribery charges against Duke Cunningham are going a little bit deeper today to include “hospitality suites” at the Westin Grand over on Capitol Hill and the venerable and scandal-ridden Watergate hotel, according to the Wall Street Journal:

In recent weeks, Federal Bureau of Investigation agents have fanned out across Washington, interviewing women from escort services, potential witnesses and others who may have been involved in the arrangement. In an interview, the assistant general manager of the Watergate Hotel confirmed that federal investigators had requested, and been given, records relating to the investigation and rooms in the hotel. But he declined to disclose what the records show.

Of course, the folks over at political blog Daily Kos are all over this like white on rice, simply because it involves Republicans. And the guys over at Wonkette are on the case, simply because it could involve salacious details and politicians. Oddly enough, generally respectable Harper’s Magazine is involved as well.

I’m going to go pop some corn and get out the lawn chair, so I’m looking forward to seeing how this one turns out, but before I do, what the heck are we gonna name this one?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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2,500 Wayan’s in America?!

Today I found out that I’m gonna represent 2,500 Americans in the US Census’ Current Population Survey.

Wow! I feel honored with the responsibility of representation, representation I wish I could have in more than just the US Census, like oh, I don’t know, maybe the US Congress!

Politics aside, the Census interview was pretty cool. Quizzed on my employment, income, and oddly, healthcare, I had the interviewer laughing as she hen-peck typed my answers on her laptop.

As we ran through the questions, I peeked over her shoulder and noticed that the US Department of Commerce is being a little cheap with software upgrades. The census taker was using an old-school MS DOS interface to record my answers.

The census taker also had an interesting sticker on her laptop: Sworn for Life to Protect Confidentiality. The US Government doesn’t mess around!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Mr. Clooney Comes To Washington

George Clooney is here in DC today, exercising his right as a citizen to petition his government for redress. Of course, it’s a bit different when you’re a movie star today, and Clooney’s goal today was to convert his star power into, well, actual power. He joined Senators Brownback and Obama to talk about the Darfur region of the Sudan where not only is there actual genocide happening right now, The United Nations isn’t doing a damn thing, nor are any of the other large militarized nations of the world. The last resort, of course, is to get interloping celebrities involved.

Welcome to Washington, George. Perhaps you should give up on the acting and go straight to work on the humanitarian causes, instead of, say, going to bed each night on top of a giant pile of money with dozens of beautiful women.

It’s not that I find your celebrity daunting, or that I’m jealous of your good looks, I just still remember you from Return of the Killer Tomatoes, and I can’t take you seriously any longer than that.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Sorry Brett: No Nats Owner Today

Brett Haber, sports anchor for Channel 9 news, said yesterday that the Nats would find their new owner today. Pretty much everyone and their cousin came out and said that the SportsCenter-anchor-turned-half-decent-radio-morning-show-guy-turned-sports-anchor was full of crap. The business day is done, and the Nats have no new owner, but this did manage to get MLB to tip their hand just a little bit:

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig is likely to pick a new owner for the Washington Nationals within a few days and the team probably will change hands in June, the sport’s No. 2 official said Thursday.

Thanks Washington Post for doing actual journalism.

Haber? Time to shoot your source.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Murky Coffee declares war on bloggers!

Well, not exactly, but they’re sure on a run of taunting the online-obsessed. First it was their cruel and mean April Fool’s blog entry, then yesterday they took a stance against the Ricky Henderson-esque use in the blogging world of “This Blogger” as a first-person pronoun.

“This blogger.”

Sometimes, it’s “This blog.” Sometimes, it’s the name of the blog.

God created a certain number of personal pronouns. It’s an abomination against The Creator and all mankind to go against it. It’s unnatural. What’s next, are you going to have sex with animals?

As someone who prefers to type things like “we here at DC Metblogs,” I’m 100% with you, Nick. Preach on, brother! Fight the powerblogger!

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Taste of Arlington

Special to Metblogs from contributor Mik

As April goes out like a lamb, think about hitting up the Taste of Arlington on May 21st. Held in Ballston, rain or shine, tickets are currently $30 for two taste books of six tickets each until May 1st.

2006 participating restaurants promise the taste of something old, something new and something blue – I wouldn’t want to touch the something borrowed part….

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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Geeks being funny… on purpose


Last year I spotted a flyer for this event a week or two after they did it. This year, thanks to teh intruwub, I found out about it in time to tell all of you. The Geek Comedy Tour 3000 happens again this Friday at the Topaz Hotel. As their web page points out, this is a no-lose situation for attending geeks.

The Topaz Hotel also features free wireless Internet access. If the comedy bores you, there’s always Home Star Runner.

at the Topaz Hotel starting at 8pm on 4/28/06
1733 N St. NW, Washington, D.C.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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XM In Trouble?

Looking for simple and profitable forex scalping strategies? In this ultimate forex scalping guide, we answer all your questions about forex scalping and provide various profitable scalping strategies.

Before we go in-depth into scalping, we should cover the basics first. What is scalping? Scalping is a short-term trading strategy wherein a trader takes advantage of small price changes in hopes of making profits. Unlike day traders, scalpers hold their positions for only a few seconds up to a few minutes. Because of this short duration, they can only gain small profits from these trades. However, if done correctly, these small profits will add up to a large sum of money. 

One of the reasons why scalping is a popular strategy is because it gives more trading opportunities within the day. The forex market is the most volatile and most liquid, and scalpers make the most out of the price fluctuations of currency pairs. This strategy also exposes the trader to less risk since they are only in the market for a very short time. Once they see a trade become profitable, they will immediately exit the trade.

DC-based XM Radio may be in a pile of trouble, after Federal Regulators were called in to check to see whether or not the company has violated laws concerning billing and marketing. Worse still, the company also put out its earnings statements for the first quarter. Did I say earnings? I meant losses. XM is out $150 Million for the 1st quarter, though subscribers are up. What does this mean for XM? A beating at the stock market, for sure. Stock is trading at 20.31, 8% below opening, 1 hour ago, which is near a 52 week low. Ouch, XM. Ouch. Time to pull it together. This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

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The Definitive DC Patio Lunch List

Following on the wild success of the Definitive Patio Bar list for outdoor nocturnal drinking, a beautiful day like today calls for a new list: The Definitive DC Patio Lunch List.

So what might qualify as a patio lunch spot? Well glad ya asked! Here’s the requirements:

  • more than 5 outdoor tables
  • a solid, regular, polite lunch crowd
  • quick, snappy service
  • reservations accepted or turnover so quick as not to matter
  • damn good, or at least damn cheap eats

Honorable mention will go to take out shops next to nice parks or places like Loebs, which has great location and outdoor seating, but leaves you reeking of grill-smell from just the 5 minutes it takes to order.

Drop your ideas, comments, and better yet reviews of your favorite patio lunch spot into comments now!

Blue shirt face stuffing @ Loebs

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Boobs for Babes Wrap Up

Now what a fun night! Hooting and hollering for your friends, raising your hand to bid even, it was a good time had by all.

Or almost all. My friend, who I promised would be outbid, wound up throwing down the winning $140 for me. The curt reply as she paid and picked up the Improv tickets: “You better be nice to me or I’m taking my boyfriend instead”

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whats a wayan worth?

Final bid: $140

Yes, ladies, I now have an established first date market value – $140. So if ya wanna experience the power of the Wayan, break out your checkbooks, because I know what I’m worth and I’m not gonna be picked up for free anymore!

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big money

With babe one we have already hit four hundred bucks! Later on guys went for $140 to $300, and one hottie even went for $1,000!! Grand total purchaing power of drunk sinlge people? $4680 – all for charity.

Still, there were cheap-o’s in the house. Overheard during the bidding: “You can just get her number later for free.”

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs