Scenes from the City: The Naked Runner

Photo courtesy of
‘half-naked stampede’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99′

So there Tom and I were, in our car, a couple cars back from the light at Rhode Island Ave. & Brentwood Ave. NE, waiting to cross onto 13th. We see this guy (late teens, maybe) run across the intersection. He was looking over his shoulder, looking half-entertained, half-scared.

And then we saw who he was running from. A woman who looked to be in her early 20s came sprinting after him, clutching a t-shirt in her hand, looking pissed. But that’s not what we noticed about her first. What we noticed was that she was stark naked. Not a stitch. Sprinting, like a cross-country runner, barefoot down the sidewalk and gaining on the guy. Let’s just say I wanted to offer her a, um, restrictive garment, because it kind of hurt to watch.

And Tom and I wondered… what was the sequence of events that led to that moment? It seems to me like there are a finite number of scenarios that lead to a completely naked woman chasing a completely clothed man down the street in broad daylight. Your theories, DC? (The more outlandish the better.)

Tiffany Baxendell Bridge is an Internet enthusiast and an incurable smartass. When not heckling the neighborhood political scene on Twitter, she can be found goofing off with her ukulele, Bollywood dancing, or obsessing about cult TV. She is That Woman With the Baby In the Bar.

Tiffany lives in Brookland with her husband Tom, son Charlie, and two high-maintenance cats. Read why Tiffany loves DC.

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3 thoughts on “Scenes from the City: The Naked Runner

  1. Actually, it sounds rather funny… I say Sunday night beer goggles, and then waking up in the morning to see who you ended up sleeping with, sneaking out, only to get caught in the act of leaving… just my two cents… but that’s at least the start of a story….

  2. She was watching the World Cup and removing an article of clothing a la Brandi Chastain for every goal, but then chased after the guy, a FIFA representative, when the England goal was not counted off the crossbar.

  3. God only knows! All I can say is you guys are lucky to have witnessed such a spectacle! How come nothing like that ever happens to me????