Not having statehood – or voting rights or, well, really any sort of semblance of border-drawing respect – finally has a benefit! As GQ counts down the 50 worst states, the District’s lack of inclusion in that “state” category saved it from the ever-so-darling satire of Gentlemen Quarterly’s writing staff. I mean, check out these zingers for those crazy Marylanders:
Maryland’s a McDLT of misery: You’ve got Wire-style urban blight on the eastern shore, and Deliverance-style Appalachian poverty in the west, partitioned by styrofoam suburbia. All of this, plus some of the highest AIDS and homicide rates in the country? No, no, Maryland, you’re too generous! On the other hand, there’s this bitchin’ rest stop, just outside of Delaware. Hell of a Roy Rogers they got in there. Check it out. Then keep driving.
What’s that, Virginia, did you think you had missed that clever critic’s pen:
Virginia’s making history… up! This former capital of the Confederacy recently distributed elementary school textbooks claiming that thousands of black soldiers fought for Johnny Reb. (Most historians, ahem, disagree.) But there’s good news: Virginia’s Confederate History Month—soon to be renamed “Civil War in Virginia Month”—is now for everyone!
Since you’re dying to know, Arizona finished atop (bottom?) the list of the 50 worst.
This makes everything better with that whole “vote doesn’t really count” thing.