There’s a moment when “There’s only three games left in the season?” turns into, “Phew, there’s only three games left in the season.” That may have happened yesterday, and so you get the intonation of that sentence right, we here at We Love DC are proud to provide you with the Cheat Sheet talking points for your office hot cocoa break this morning. It’s Monday, you shouldn’t put any “holiday cheer” into that cocoa, but given yesterday’s game, WLDC will not officially endorse that activity.
Dan Levy of Press Coverage put it into terms quite beautifully this morning: “Feeling bad for a Redskins fan after epic failures like Sunday is like feeling bad for a friend who keeps getting sick eating dairy but refuses to admit he’s lactose intolerant.” After loss number three in a row, holding a 5-8 record, I think we can officially say that the season is all over but for the bedtime stories.
Still, if you feel like you want to talk about it, read on for your bullets.
The Stomach Punch Loss – Bill Simmons once wrote about the “Levels of Losing,” one of his gimmicks in which he described the litany of different ways a loss can feel like hell. Number three on his list of the most painful 13 is one called “The Stomach Punch.” As he puts it, the Stomach Punch Loss is “any roller-coaster game that ends with (A) an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play or (B) one of your guys failing in the clutch. … Usually ends with fans filing out after the game in stunned disbelief, if they can even move at all. … Always haunting, sometimes scarring.” I’m going to say that getting within one point with seconds to go after driving the field and then botching the hold on the extra point qualified.
Torain Found Some Running Room – I can’t go back to the well on the “Torain, in Space, Runs Mainly on the Field” joke, especially because ruining the only bright spot of yesterday with a bad pun is really not nice. 24 carries, 172 yards, and a record setting first quarter. You have to go back to 2001 to find someone in the league who ran for more than the 121 yards Torain put up in the first.
[REDACTED]’s Kicking Day – In my time here with We Love DC in the last year, there have been two personalities that I have moved to never speak of again, unless referring to them with the [REDACTED] moniker. I don’t want to group Graham Gano with the Salahis or Rob Dibble…but it’s tempting after yesterday. He’s going to get singled out on this one because, even though he didn’t hold that ball that slipped away on the extra point, the one point loss could have been avoided if he hit either of the two short field goals – 34 yards and 24 yards – in the first half. Gano has now missed 10 field goals on the season.
The Redskins go to Dallas next week to play what’s left of the Cowboys. They will bring with them what’s left of the Redskins. Since the only people who will watch this game are in Washington or Dallas, we’ll be sure to give you the cheat