photo courtesy of NeilGaiman.com

I already had an engagement to go see the Nats lose and Teddy get robbed one of 36 times, so I didn’t make it out to see Neil Gaiman speak last Friday. I’m disappointed in those of you who did, however – those damned New Yorkers already have an attitude of superiority over us, do we have to be duller even in book signings?

The list of things presented to Mr Gaiman to sign in NYC? “books, comics, a pair of breasts [female] and a bottletop [initials only]” In DC? “The only unusual thing I remember signing yesterday night was a lady’s red suede shoe.”

A shoe. Seriously? You couldn’t come up with some underwear? An hourglass? A copy of Joe Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces? Perhaps a wing, either left or right? Okay, a real live macaque monkey could have been hard to find (and hold still) but surely someone could have come up with a bent-over page.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Sadly, DC Cabbies have a bad reputation. Worse still, it seems they still deserve it, according to Talking Budgie:

I politely asked the cab driver where we were going because this didn’t seem to be the usual route. He said to me in really abusive tone “Well where do you think you are going?” I responded that we were going to (Cross street) and Independence SE near Eastern Market. He yelled back at us that “(Cross street) and Independence is not Eastern Market. Give me some respect. I am not your boyfriend. Shut up in my cab.” He then proceeded to curse us for about 5 minutes.

Yikes. Fortunately, there are four Taxi Commission hearings in the next 10 days. They start tonight in Ward 4, then in Ward 5 on Thursday, then in Ward 8 on the 10th and Ward 1 on the 12th. Help make DC Cabs a better place for us all, go speak up about your bad cab experiences.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Leave it to an Indian Dutch woman to give us such a great example of how you can take the same scene and turn it into a thing of beauty or a thing of despair.

In the above photo, saskiamarisha takes what is otherwise just a couch in an abandoned lot, and lets its beauty shine through. The soft focus, warm and unusual lighting, and the inclusion of the leaves at the top make it seem like the couch is a pink ballerina dancing amongst a bunch of dirty criminals. The couch is almost inviting you to came take a load off, and you’re close to accepting, if only you’d had a recent tetanus shot.

Conversely, the photo below is downright sinister. That sweet ballerina has turned into a dark, evil mob boss and he’s saying, “You lookin’ at me?” Her use of black and white here, as well as the angle it was shot from and the dark lighting create quite a different mood. Suddenly that couch that once looked so inviting is making you think twice about trusting any more couches.

So it’s up to you. When you see a photographic opportunity, not only do you need to think about composition, shutter speed, f-stop, but also how you want to portray your subject. Is it a pink ballerina or a dirty mob boss? That’s for only you to decide.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

In a masterful move on the part of Mayor for Life Councilman Marion Shepilov Barry, the new baseball stadium may yet be enveloped in a wonderful, pedestrian-friendly, pro-city mixed use development instead of isolated on a barren asphalt parking lot.

According to the WashPost:

Council member Marion Barry (D-Ward 8) was leading the effort and had distributed a bill that seeks to alter the $611 million stadium cost cap approved by the council in March. The legislation would allow the city to spend money from the sale of development rights on stadium land to pay for the parking garages.

While Metroblogging DC would like to encourage his resurrection of the beautiful Herb Miller plan, Barry was unavailable for comment.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Can you count the number of SUV’s in this photo? Enlarge it and take a look.

This isn’t staged or photoshopped, this is 18th Street in Adams Morgan on Sunday. This is also very unusual and I think only due to the Crafty Bastard Art Fair. Or it better be.

More of this SUV scene and I’m calling Earth Liberation Front.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

We just heard a fighter jet fly overhead at my office (Connecticut & K, a few blocks from the White House).

Anyone know what’s going on?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

That’s right everyone, only three short months left before the real health threat of second-hand smoke will be reduced in Washington, DC.

And I mean health threat. To quote U.S. Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona:

“The scientific evidence is now indisputable: Secondhand smoke is not a mere annoyance. It is a serious health hazard that can lead to disease and premature death in children and nonsmoking adults.”

So all you lung-killers out there, moaning about you soon-to-be-lost endangerment of my life, I say Smoke Free DC shall not come a day too soon.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I started my commute the usual way, heading out of Fairlington toward Route 50 on Walter Reed. At Walter Reed & Four Mile Run, I continued through the intersection, because the light was green and that’s what one generally does in that case.

Some guy in a Ford (at least I think it was a Ford, but I’m not good with such things) coming down Four Mile Run on my right wasn’t paying as much attention to the lights and what one should do in response to them, because he came barrelling through the intersection doing at least 40, making no apparent effort to slow down. He missed me by about 15 feet, but the Passat to my left, which had pulled out just slightly ahead of me, wasn’t so lucky. CRASH! Bits of bumper and headlight scattered through the intersection as the cars collided.

My thought process was as follows:

1. OMGHOLYSHITWTFBBQ!
2. That car just totally ran the light! It’s his fault!
3. I hope everyone is okay.
4. Wow, those Jetta commercials with the accidents are REALLY accurate.
5. Oh good, everyone seems to be walking and healthy.
6. Wow. That was almost me!
7. Better double-check that the car insurance is paid up…

So, an adrenaline-filled start to my day. And, for those of you who are wondering… our car insurance was indeed paid up, but Tom went ahead and made the next payment when I told him what had happened.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

If you like sea monsters, you should be headed to the Crafty Bastard Art Fair in Adams Morgan.

Not only is it an orgasm of do it yourself clothing and art, it would be the perfect post-Fiesta DC activity.

Do bring sharp elbows for the slow crowds. The fair is over run with zombie girls scanning each booth as they amble by.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Today on Mt Pleasant Street is Fiesta DC, a celebration of Hispanic culture.

Food, fun, even concerts will be happening all day.

I will be digging into the tasty street foods that remind me of family vacations as soon as finish a calorie burning run.

When will you stop by?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

OK, maybe not massive, but the Massive Attack concert last night at the 9:30 Club was a bit of a let down. Don’t get me wrong, I really do like the band, but after about 5 or 6 songs my friend and I decided to leave. Their performance seemed very monotone, and if it weren’t for the impressive light show that looked as if it had been engineered by Clark Griswald, you would have been left with some dudes (and a tiny soft voiced lady) jamming with very little chord progression and creativity. I guess they thought that having a lead vocalist in a sailor’s jacket with a British accent would make them more enticing – uh, I don’t think so. What made it even more of a let down was the $40 ticket price which is what I’d expect to pay for a big name band. If you compare this concert to the last one I saw there (Zero 7), it’s like comparing a 7 Eleven hot dog to a filet at The Palm….or something like that.

Oh well, you live, you learn.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Caption Please!

Wow. So I post a “Get Free Nationals Tickets” caption contest yesteray and get not a single entry.

What gives DC? Was the contest too hard? Might you have difficulty laughing at me? My supermodels sure don’t.

It can’t be the mental challenge, this is a town of lawyers and government wonks. It must be a lack of love for the prize: four tickets to tonight’s Nationals vs. NY Mets 7pm game at RFK.

Does the next to last game of the season not call to you? Might the Section 445 and enjoying $6.50 Miller Lites be too overwhelming for you?

Step up, DC, the photo is just calling out for heckling…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Apparently the key to good turnout isn’t scoring or standing, it’s fleece. Over 27,000 in attendance tonight.

I, on the other hand, may just have to start boycotting games. Not one single win for Teddy Roosevelt? Aside from being a great President the man was probably the most athletic in life of the four contestants in every game’s “President’s Race.” ZERO?

Admittedly I’m a little pissy about this because the man was a great conservationist and the host of my favorite local park, but still…. Not one win? They’d better give him one by Sunday or I’m gonna be seriously cheesed.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I have four tickets to Saturday’s Nationals vs. NY Mets 7pm game at RFK and this is the next to last game of the season. The tickets are in Section 445 and you can be sitting in them tomorrow for free, enjoying $6.50 Miller Lites. How?

Submit the best caption for the photo below.

Your deadline is Saturday @ Noon and you’ll get points for originality and humor, even more if you can work in a recent Metroblogging DC post. Don’t forget to include an email in your comment submission so we can work out ticket logistics.

Now get your caption comments cap on!

– Insert Your Caption Here –

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

This is the self-checkout line at the Rhode Island Avenue Home Depot.

It is either a crowning achievement of modern technology, another small step towards shopping automation, or a marker of the end of civilization in America.

As a technology achievement, its pretty cool. Each station processes your purchase pretty fast, and it takes cash as well as credit/debit, giving change when you’re done.

As automation, its trying to speed up the checkout scene but it wasn’t that fully automated. There still needed to be a sales clerk on hand to sort out its constant errors.

As the death of civilization, it removed one of the last “little connections” we make in a day – the small talk with the sales clerk that can make or break a buy.

In this case, I give the auto-teller a 5 out of 10. Cool, but way too glitchy to be really worth your time or effort.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Freecycle is a movement across the country designed to make sure that nothing ever gets chucked into a landfill until it’s been on an email list for at least a few weeks, and DC has their very own yahoo group dedicated to such a concept. Today’s highlighted message comes to from someone who likely drives a better car than you, probably has a better job than you, and likely goes to sleep each night on a pile of money surrounded by beautiful women.

They still need a carseat for their Porsche.

WANTED: Boxster Car Seat

I would hope to not have to turn in my wheels with a little one! Does anyone have the Tequipment car seat which can be installed in the passenger seat of the Boxster? I realize it involves a trip to the dealer for proper installation and airbag deactivation, but hoped I might pick up one from someone whose little one has outgrown it. Can pick up anywhere, anytime. Thanks!

Good to know they’ll meet you anywhere.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

What do you visualize when you read this Metro press release?

Metrobus “cowboys” are set to drive and brand their “steers” – in this case 40-foot long, 30,000-pound Metrobuses and various maintenance modules – to victory in the 30th Annual Bus Roadeo on Saturday, September 30, from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.

Would it be individual bus operators and teams of bus mechanics competing to safely and quickly complete an obstacle course or troubleshoot maintenance problems? Or would it be the final scene from Dr. Stranglelove where the crazy Maj. T.J. ‘King’ Kong rodeo rides the bomb to oblivion?

Either way, I know you’re excited and can’t wait to bring the whole family for events and entertainment like music, catered food, visits from McGruff the Crime Dog, Max the Metro Mascot, the Metrobus Robot, a Custom Auto Show, and a safety-related competition sponsored by Metro’s Department of Safety and Risk Protection.

I may be a transit foamer, but even I have my limits.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

This isn’t the kind of bike Wayan’s always campaigning for, but I figured he could appreciate the sentiment if not the vehicle.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

No Pain, No Gain!

I love the WashPost’s “Dating Lab” in the Sunday magazine. Every week they have some dating train wreck for us to gawk at.

Last week I noted they had a call out for crazed athletes like I:

LOOKING FOR SCHOLARLY TRIATHELETES — and other singles wishing to be set

While my supermodels would revolt if I applied, I tossed the suggestion to the DC Tri Club.

After questioning how the WashPost could misspell “triathlete” everyone warmed up to the challenge until Nicole broke down what it means to date a triathlete.

To quote a snippet of her enlightening post:

• “I am an active person.” Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours.

  2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so lets make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.

• “I enjoy sharing quiet moments together.” Really means: It’s taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my “A” race and can’t workout.
• “I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub.” Really Means: I’m going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.

Now doesn’t that make the life of my supermodels sound all romantic and exciting? Yeah, that’s why I have so many who call me back after the first Saturday morning 8am Haines Point brick workout.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

At the risk of encouraging the Borfization of our fair city, I have to say that this bit of sticker modification at the local Costco gave me a smile. And after the discussion earlier this week of post-processing of images I thought I’d give the picture a little filter love…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs