Its early for CPAC, they’re not yet foaming at the mouth as they babble incoherently about tax reform or immigration. No, at 11am they’re playing with pork. Pink pork. Guess they don’t know, pork is the other white meat.

Speaking of white, I just saw the Black Republican Caucus, which like Log Cabin Republicans, is beyond my mental comprehension. What are these people thinking? What am I thinking? The lone liberal so jaded I’m apolitical.

Got bets on how long I’ll last?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Well, Blizzard Watch 2006 is underway here this morning as this supposed storm of the winter is rolling up to our front door. The storm’s supposed to bring 5-8 inches to the metro area (even inside the beltway) over the next 36 hours or so. No idea what’s actually going to happen, and consensus in the bar last night was that we’re not going to get nearly as much as they think we are. The weathermen have twice predicted serious storms and less than an inch of snow between the two fell upon our fair city.

Is this the “third time’s the charm?” or just the weather folks taking a card from the people over at the department of homeland security?

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I just witnessed Ann Coulter… Ryan Sager has all the details, but essentially I watched as a popular conservative commentator called Muslims “ragheads”.

And now the line for her book signing is stretching hundreds of feet throughout the conference hall, with young and impressionable minds thick amongst their number, and the crowd is so thick in her session that when they stand to applaud they shake the camera stand and overwhelm the gain on the microphones.

And this is who’s invited to CPAC. And who we’ll remember, despite the hundreds of other speeches.

Sad, isn’t it? That those talking in sensible tones will be forgotten for the loudmouths with braggadocio. What happened to the impassioned and dedicated work of smart and talented men and women on behalf of the duty of a grateful nation? Is it lost upon the masses in favor of the reptilian revenge driven brain? The five second soundbyte generation?

I think I’m going to go be ill.

Technorati Tags: CPAC

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

This morning the hangover is apparent here at CPAC. The floor is sparsely populated, the line for coffee is long, and Coach bags until the interns’ eyes are darker than I’ve ever seen. Fortunately for me, though, I ran into the guys from Contra Cafe who sell coffee made by farmers in Nicaragua who used to be the rebels paid by Ollie North. That’s right, they’re terrorists when they attack us, but they’re freedom fighters when they’re on our payroll, and now you can buy their coffee.

The cognitive dissonance of supporting retired terrorists by buying the coffee on the free market is so great that I had to take a sticker. I won’t drink their coffee, though, because there’s free coffee in the media room.

But, the best sight of the day are the Republican boys running around in pink Size Matters t-shirts, including Aaron Jones pictured below.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

This is a tough distinction, so listen up. If you’re working as a theatre critic it is expected that you will express contempt for much of what you’re sent out to review on an individual basis within reviews. It is not expected, or acceptable, to express contempt for the entire local theatre scene at once as well as your job as a theatre reviewer.

Thus, as Theatreboy reports, we now find ourselves one theatre critic lighter at the Washington Post. So listen up boys and girls: if you don’t like what you’re doing for a living, make it well known. Your bosses will find a way for you not to have to do it anymore.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I realize nobody tunes into Elliot for mature discourse, but when I turned it on in the car at around 9:30 I thought I’d stepped into a Jr High catfight. For what seemed like an hour (but was actually just three minutes) these two women shouted back and forth at each other, apparently over what two other women may or may not be doing between the sheets with a married Redskins player. I can’t say I’m surprised that whoever was manning the dump button couldn’t stand to listen either and let a very loud “BULLSHIT!” go out onto the air.

Holy cow did I pick the wrong week to forget my iPod. People listen to this crap on purpose?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

So bOrf was sentenced to a month in jail yesterday. That’s nice, but they forgot two other guilty bOrfs – Mom Murphy and Dad Tsombikos.

It was Kathleen Murphy of Great Falls, aka Mom bOrf who knowingly gave little bOrf Tsombikos the living room floor to set up his graffiti stencils. It was Mom who gave him keys + cash and sent him into DC to tag. And its called adding and abetting when you enable crime to that extent.

Did Kathleen Murphy control bOrf after his arrest? Nope, she sent him to Konstantine Tsombikos, aka Dad bOrf. And did Dad discipline bOrf? Apparently not, if you read the WashPost:

And he must pay $12,000 in restitution, money that better not come out of his parents’ bank accounts, the judge said. “In other words,” she said, “not the bogus jobs that your father gives you in New York”

So that’s discipline in Konstantine Tsombikos’s house – a bogus job. Now did he keep his son on the straight and narrow when not at his bogus job, or did he, like Kathleen Murphy, give bOrf keys + cash and sent him to tag the nearest big city? Yep, just what I thought keys + cash and directions to NYC.

So why aren’t Kathleen Murphy and Konstantine Tsombikos in jail with bOrf? They’re just as guilty.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I don’t miss the bus. I may be late sometimes, but I do NOT miss the bus. What does that mean? Well sometimes a hyperactive bus driver blows right past my stop thinking that his 2/3 full bus can’t take on a handful more.

I always sprint to the next bus stop and when boarding, remind the bus driver he missed the last stop. While this doesn’t go over so well, especially when I make a scene, bus drivers still do it. Unless I see folks sticking out their hand to breathe, the bus ain’t full, its just Americans refusing to get close.

Next time, do us all a favor, move past the back door!!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Borf’s going to spend a month in prison for all his graffiti, and will pay a $12,000 fine. No word on which inmate in the DC Jail has called dibs, or paid for the privilege of spending some time with Borf on his first night behind bars.

Will he be BOrf after his month in jail? Only time will tell.

[Update] Washington Post has some excellent quotes from the judge in this case:

“You should have been walking out of the front door of this courtroom today,” Leibovitz told him. “Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that you require more than that to impress upon you the seriousness of what you’ve done. Not because it’s a wall, not because it’s a building, not because it’s a fixture in some abstract sense. But because of people.”
…
“In other words,” she said, “not the bogus jobs that your father gives you in New York . . . a real job, going to work like the people you demean, earning it with paychecks and the sweat of your own brow.”
…
“I want him to see what the inside of the D.C. jail looks like,” she said, “because unlike every other person you’ve seen in my courtroom this morning, who have a ninth-grade education, who are drug-addicted, who have had childhoods the likes of which you could not conceive, you come from privilege and opportunity and seem to think that the whole world is just like McLean and just like East 68th Street.

“Well,” she said, “it’s not.”

Well said, Judge Leibovitz, Well said.

Technorati Tags: DC

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I was just handed a flier with the following lede: “It’s not the News, It’s the Truth.”

I am in a land of True Believers today. Will someone please take me out for a beer? Please?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Recently, armed men have abducted local teens forcing them to rob banks. This is more bizarre than the cell phone robber. PG County police are working with the other authorities to investigate the situation. The teens were 14 and 15, and were threatened with significant bodily harm if they did not demand money of the tellers. This one’s just one for the weird files. So, if you’re a local law enforcement officer, please don’t shoot the teenage robber, they’re being coerced already.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I’ve been sitting on Bloggers’ Row this morning, which essentially means I have my computer open in the exhibit hall next to many other bloggers and we get approached by people who want to Promote Their Stuff™ which seems to be everything from books and pamphlets to sessions to political campaigns and beyond.

I’ve asked the candidates why they want to come to DC, and I get canned responses that were written by their PR teams, and I get the question dodged when I talk to them about issues like DC Statehood or Voting Rights, or where they’d like to live here in town, or what they think of the area. DC is a goal, not a place, and that’s a tough thing to see.

There are those of us who live in this great area who see this place as more than a goal, more than a place to come when you win, but a place to live our lives, conduct our business and support the community. Can we work on some national level politicians to see it the same way?

But yes, proving that there aren’t just weiner girls running around, here’s a photo of guy in a chicken suit. This is what we’re braving to bring you the news.

Technorati Tags: CPAC, DC, local politics

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Washington Post columnist George Will is speaking here at CPAC this morning, and has taken a moment out of his speech to single out the law recently passed in Maryland requiring Walmart to fork over some more money for health insurance for their employees, or start to pay money to the state. While lawsuits are embroiling the state’s new law under the equal protection clause, Will contends that the law is a more serious attack on a business’s individual liberties, especially when the law singles out a single business.

Will’s contention is that…

Wait. Sorry, a girl in a Weiners for Choice just walked by. You read that correct. Weiners. For. Choice. I have no idea what the politics are of this particular organization, but her outfit, a hotdog in a bun, suggests that it might be a pork lobby.

I totally lost Will’s point. Crap.

Technorati Tags: CPAC, DC

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

We’re expanding a bit here at Metroblogging DC, and you’re going to see something you’re not used to here: some national politics. It’s inescapable in DC, and that makes our effort to squelch it an attempt to ignore the elephant in the room. We were invited to send bloggers to this year’s CPAC convention and we’re sending two: Wayan Vota and me. You’ll see dispatches from this event throughout the next three days. Don’t accuse us of being Republican Shills or a bunch of Neocons, though, the choice of conference is an accident of fate and little more. We hope to cover more large events in the coming months, if you’re interested in contributing a media pass our way, we’d be glad to come write. The dispatches here will be less political coverage, more of what happens when several thousands conservatives descend upon the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Northwest.

Technorati Tags: CPAC, DC, Metroblogging, press, politics

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

In what must be the mad mash-up of the year, or a bad hangover effect of Bareback BrokeBack Mountain, those of small-minded Southern persuasion, who are also light in the loafers or limp of wrist, now have the ultimate fashion accessory: the Rainbow Rebel.

Soon to be available in wife beater and thong models, the Rainbow Rebel is the fashion statement for your next hooded assembly – a splash of color to separate you from those all-white sheets. It can also be worn hunting – why match? You have a gun, clash!

Me, I’m gonna wear mine when I carpetbag prance protest against Virginia’s gay marriage amendment.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

It took about an hour, but they’ve called shenanigans on the nerve agent alarm at the Russell Office Building on the Hill. DCist has the play by play, but it seems another case of much ado about some crackpot sending vials of flour to his senator. It’s not real clear what was really in the vials, but it wasn’t actually nerve gas, so that much is good. Just another day in DC.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Like many DC townhouse dwellers, I have a small patch of garden in the front of my house. Small, as in miniscule, but somehow in the first three years of living there I managed to pack it chock-full of roses, hydrangea, and peonies. I always wanted a garden as a child but grew up in a “lawn” household as opposed to a “flower” household. Finally I was able to indulge my green thumb.

Well, almost. The first three years were blissful escapes into the world of gardening, but then somehow the past three years have seen the end of the honeymoon. I’ve waged a hopeless war against black spot for my roses, peonies that refuse to bloom, and that hydrangea seems to require boatloads of water (yeah, that “hydra” should really have clued me in). Not to mention my hopeless campaign against weeds, which began to resemble the One Hundred Years War.

I need to rekindle my desire, so I hope to make time to visit the 2006 Washington Home and Garden Show, running tomorrow through Sunday at the Convention Center. There are usually beautiful displays and lots of garden goodies to buy. The last time I went to this event was back in ’98 when I was still a sad apartment dweller fantasizing about English roses. Now that I’m a pro (ha!) perhaps I’ll get even more out of it than fantasy.

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As a legendary cheapskate myself, I can’t help but think warmly of Jack Benny, who made joking about being thrifty a core part of his act. This short MP3 of a Jack Benny sketch (tweaked to be an answering machine message) has him responding to a armed robber’s demand of “your money or your life!” with “I’m thinking, I’m thinking!”

Now Benny fans are aiming for something cheap enough even JB would buy a few: a Jack Benny postage stamp. It’s hard to argue with their reasoning. Benny also made joking about being 39 – every year – part of his act. How better to celebrate him than with his image in a 39-cent stamp. Keeping with the theme, there’ll be a 39 man march in our fair city on Feb 14th, which would have been his 74th 39th birthday. Actual attendance won’t be limited to 39, nor only men. If you’re interested in participating follow the above link, or sign the petition or use a premade letter template to contact your congresscritter and/or the USPS’s stamp committee.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

It’s got to be really hard to be as dumb as Marion Barry. Seriously. His sentencing in Federal Court today was postponed because he only filed his tax returns for the last few years yesterday! I really wish normal people could get away with this shit. Seriously. Only in DC can such a crook not only hold public office, but flaunt the law while still seated.

Of course, this is the nugget in that article that I found most hilarious: “The tax issues were not the only problems facing Barry. He tested positive for using cocaine and marijuana when he took a court-required drug test Nov. 17, the prosecutors said in court filings.”

Coke AND weed? Dude. You’re almost 70 years old. Lay off the stuff, okay?

He’s back in court on March 9th to hear his fate. I’m hoping they throw the book at him.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I’m fond of the Metro but don’t ride it enough to know where to get off for new locations. The WMATA maps are okay for figuring it out, but I’m spoiled – I like the cool draggable “Web 2.0” Google style maps. Happily there’s a pretty good gmaps mash-up out there in the form of DCRails. It’s far from perfect – the worst flaw I have found is that when you key in an address it doesn’t zoom in on it, leaving the little destination marker obscured by the larger metro icons – but it’s a good use of the technology and I’m hopeful they’ll update and improve it soon.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs