I’m just not into you anymore.
Look, it’s been a great relationship, for the most part. But I have to say, your actions and attitudes over the last few months had me worried to the point that I’ve begun looking at a much older friend to fulfill my needs.
I’d love to say “it’s not you, it’s me.” But it’s not me. It’s you.
Back in the early years of our relationship, I could handle your quirks – I thought it was part of your charm. The occasional tardiness problem? Who doesn’t run late from time to time? The weekends you’d take off or reduce your availability were completely understandable. I know its tough to constantly be on the go, servicing so many people every single day, often without appreciation or a simple “thanks.” You did what you had to do with what you had available. I didn’t even mind giving you more money a few years ago when you asked, because I knew about the help others had promised but never really delivered.
I admired you for your dedication. After all, you helped me out every day I needed you. Even when I had to rely on others from time to time, you were always there for me when I needed you most. (Even if you were having a moment, you still came through – just on your own timetable.)
But lately? What happened to you?
Your accident back in June was horrible. I know it takes time to recover from such tragedy – I can understand and wave away your mixed signals after the fact. I may not have liked it, but I understood and still embraced you every day.
Then came the lies. The attempts at deception and deflection. You got surlier, even on the ‘good’ days. You hid behind hastily taped-up paper, ignored others so you could text or talk on the phone. Even argued or just ignored those who tried to point out simple errors. Safety didn’t seem to be a concern for you at all. You started picking fights with others when they tried to help by pointing out your mistruths and inconsistencies – you just trotted out the blame game and insisted we all play along. It’s as if you didn’t know what your right or left hands were doing!
And then? You went and had another accident.
It’s been really difficult to be with you lately because of all that. I can overlook the random smells, your unkempt appearance, the jolting movements. But you make it clear that it’s everyone else’s fault but your own. You won’t even listen to those who know better – or at least try to help you by sharing their expertise. All done just to help you become better than you are. But instead, I just see temper tantrums, blank looks, and surliness.
So now you come to me dropping hints that you’re going to need more money because you’re practically broke. (Let’s set aside the fact that you didn’t tell the truth before about how much you were short.) Honestly, I would love to help you out – but this time, it’s going to cost you. I have to weigh my benefits and priorities too, you know. It saddens me that even if I shell out more money to you, you’ll most likely waste it or misuse it. Again. And then lie to me all over again. Your actions in the wake of such a tough crisis have really shown me your true self and I’m not really sure I can take it for much longer.
And so there it is. Our close relationship is at an end. I’ve decided to go back to an older friend, with whom I have a strong and solid relationship. It won’t bleed me of my money, won’t lie to me, won’t let me down. It’s more receptive to my needs. And even though there will be days that will be tough, at least I know I’m not being laughed at or tossed about like some meaningless asset while we struggle through.
We’ll still see each other, though. I’m not cutting you off. But you need to realize that from now on, we can only be friends. I can’t keep giving myself to a relationship that is so one-sided and built on neediness, abuse, deception and mistrust.
I’m sorry, Metro. From here on out, I’ll be driving to work.