This is the question I wonder this afternoon as I read the Richmond Times-Dispatch article about Benjamin Fawley. He is charged with murder in the death of Taylor Behl, last October’s missing college co-ed of the month.

I ask this as scarfing is what Ms. Behl died of. See, she and Mr. Fawley were into scarfing, or erotic asphyxiation, consentual scarfing that is. To quote the Times-Dispatch:

He told police Behl died accidentally Sept. 6 during a consensual sexual encounter when he restricted her breathing.

Tomorrow we’ll learn if the plea agreement for Mr. Fawley to plead guilty to second-degree murder will be about scarfing, their consensual sex act, or his post-choke cover-up.

If scarfing, which I expect, Virginia will be on its usual pseudo-religious crusade to ban anything but straight vanilla sex. Kinky people, time to flee. Gays already have.

If the post-choke cover-up, which included burying her body in duct tape and plastic, then there might just be some sanity left in the Commonwealth after all. He should’ve called 911 when she stopped responding, not dumped her body in the woods.

More Times-Dispatch coverage of the Taylor Marie Behl case

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“When the Going Gets Weird, The Weird Turn Pro” — Hunter S. Thompson

As Wonkette noted today, something is amok in the house of Wemple, and it seems to involve the flinging of poo. This story is so beyond the normal DC weird that it almost needs its own very weird category of weird.

Apparently, the wife of City Paper Editor Erik Wemple threw dog poo at the owners of a Doggie Day Spa near her home. That’s right, she threw poo as part of her mediation with the Doggie Day Spa. Kids, there’s some lessons you learn early: only monkeys throw poo. Anyhow, Circumlocutor soon have the police report which will detail both sides of the story.

Me, I’m just waiting for the mugshots. Because those have to epic, right? right?

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And no, I’m not talking the removal of phlegm or a lobotomy, which many say I need or had. I’m talking about phlebotomy, the act of drawing blood, and the phlebotomist down at the American Red Cross of the National Capitol Area are looking for donors.

Local hospitals are low on blood, some down to a half-day supply. Both the MPD and Eleanor Holmes Norton have joined the Red Cross in the plea, she specifically to ask African Americans to give blood.

I only wish I could. After years of distant travel, like say Timbuktu, I can’t pass the pre-screen test. Malaria areas? England during Mad Cow? Yep, my blood be unfit. Might yours be worthy? The cause sure is.

Thanks WashPost

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

That was the mantra I always heard when I moved here. Traffic is diminished, no one’s on the Hill, everyone’s at the beach. That was what I was told, anyhow. I never quite believed it, not working in politics. I had to be downtown, same as always, in the midst of the damp heat, through thunderstorms and sweat, how was this easy?

Is August really easy for anyone in this town? It’s not like most of the Hill staffers are paid well enough to take the month off and head to the beach with their erstwhile public servant bosses. Perhaps those who work on K St. can snag a bit of a respite in all this, what with all the lobbyists disappearing, but I suspect somehow it’s not nearly that simple, either.

What’s the real truth about August in DC? Is it all beach parties and short days? Or is just more insulting to be left working while all the upper level folks head to the beach?

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So, with the War in Iraq raging, potential deployments in Lebanon and other nations looming, the Army has decided to…build an amusement park? They’re looking at expanding a new Museum complex to include a hotel and amusement center including “4D Rides” and, well, 22,000 new commuters for that section of Fairfax County, which has the County Officials a little upset at the idea. Not to mention the possibility of 3 million extra visitors each year clogging the roads of Fairfax.

Well, I guess now that we’ve caught Osama, we can just build a little tourist center. Wait, what do you mean he’s still out there?

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From the wording on the back page of the little newsletter my VA congresscritter sent me last week, you might get the impression he’s just letting you know what else is going on, regardless of his position on it. After all, the previous pages make a big deal about what he’s co-sponsored – surely this stuff is just incidental, right?

Hmmmm, no. When you look at the bill tracking for SB 526, the referendum in question, you find that Herring and every single other Senator voted for it. No “nays,” no abstentions. Further, the weasley language in the blurb doesn’t convey the real extent of the bill. Here’s what the following paragraph spells out much more clearly:

The proposed amendment provides that “only a union between one man and one woman may be a marriage valid in or recognized by this Commonwealth and its political subdivisions.” The proposed amendment also prohibits the Commonwealth and its political subdivisions from creating or recognizing “a legal status for relationships of unmarried individuals that intends to approximate the design, qualities, significance, or effects of marriage.” Further, the proposed amendment prohibits the Commonwealth or its political subdivisions from creating or recognizing “another union, partnership, or other legal status to which is assigned the rights, benefits, obligations, qualities, or effects of marriage.”

But newsletter readers only get “The entire proposed amendment will appear on the ballot.” Stand up for what you believe in, Senator Herring. If you really think that civil rights are something that should go to a popular vote – and I wonder how the Loudoun chapter of the NAACP, of which you are a member, feels about that concept – then have the courage of your convictions to put the real language on your newsletter. Acknowledge that you voted for it. Acknowledge that it’s not just “an amendment to define marriage” – it’s also a limiting on any other laws that might “approximate” the qualities of marriage. Hell, you could simply include the fact that it’s SB 526 so that people could look it up on the Virginia Legislative Information System.

The fact that I don’t agree with government meddling in these kind of things should be obvious, but I find it even more odious when people hide their real positions. Show some guts.

If you’re interested in the actual legislation and would like some information on how it’s going to be costing us money in tax revenue from fleeing DINKs and the inevitable court challenges there’s a good WaPo article on it today.

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I really, really apologize for the mutilation of Elton John. Except that I don’t. Livan Hernandez is off to the Diamondbacks for two prospects, Garrett Mock and Matt Chico. Neither look like the Ace that Hernandez had become off and on, but each would be a solid 3 or 4 starter in another year, and that’s what the Nats need: long-term plans instead of short-term attempts at success. Tough to think that yesterday’s 3-2 loss, with a no-decision for Livo, will be his last start in our colors before he heads to Phoenix. Of course, it was iconic of his career here: an excellent outing spoiled by defense and a lack of significant offense, so I suppose it was appropriate.

Good luck, Livan, we’ll miss you.

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I wonder what will happen to the true dive bars when DC goes smoke-free in 2007. And will we start talking about nightlife in terms of B.B. and A.B. – before the ban and after the ban?

Seriously, I’m not out to start a resurgence of the whole smokers v. nonsmokers war again. It’s just that I was at Townhouse Tavern for a few hours Saturday night, relaxing with friends, and that bar is a living breathing ash organism. I honestly can’t remember whether anyone was smoking vape juice or not – it doesn’t matter, even my pores had a nicotine high.

What will happen to places like Townhouse, with no ventilation system to speak of other than strategically placed fans, the ash of ages clinging desperately to every conceivable surface, a bar so permeated with smoke residue that your very soul is suffused with nicotine upon leaving?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs
Obviously, nothing much. Townhouse has outside patio seating so smokers can still inhale there after the ban. But I wonder how long it will actually take for the smoky interior to cleanse its carcinogenic fumes, if ever.

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How is this for a Metrorail serenade? A “singing escalator” at the Woodley Park Metro Station. Nice!

I hope this isn’t what WMATA had in mind when it put out a call for artisits. Woops, no, that was for the new NoVA stations.

Hmm, maybe it’s the first Metro Entertainment Program? I bet singers, dancers, musicians, theater groups and other entertainers could make quite a show with the escalator singing in the background.

Have you heard this escalator sing? Might it be in the key of Pavarotti or Prince?

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This weekend there are a pair of festivals hitting the area, meaning the beginnings of the summer fair season are upon us again. Take advantage of this weekend’s less-awful weather and head out to either the Alexandria Irish Festival or the U St “Dog Days” sidewalk festival.

The Irish Festival runs all day on Saturday in Waterfront Park in Alexandria (within a good walk of the King St. Metro) and will feature all manner of Gaelic things including music, crafts, and things that will make you want to pick right up and go to Ireland for your next vacation. Pro-Tip? Stop at Murphy’s on the way home for a Guinness or ten.

The Dog Days Sidewalk Sale features a ton of great shopping (part of the DC Tax Holiday, too!) and events in the U St. neighborhood. Starting at 8am Saturday, there’s a dog show at the African American Civil War Memorial, incredible discounts from businesses throughout the area including Boundless Yoga, Cakelove, Home Rule, Pop, Viridian, Simply Home, Millenium and Meeps Village. That’s not the whole list, so check the main schedule page on the MidCityLive website.

Are you going to the festival? What are you up to?

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Not Duke University, but DC’s own Duke Ellington. WTOP News is reporting that the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities ignored the public vote on which famous DC residents to put into statue form in the Capitol’s Statuary Hall. Each of the states gets to choose two statues of famous residents, and the District has managed to be a part of that group. However, the DC Commission ignored the popular vote (which selected Frederick Douglass and Duke Ellington) and have chosen their own two figures to be memorialized: Frederick Douglass and Pierre L’Enfant.

Of course, the criteria for candidates included being a citizen of the United States, which promptly rules out L’Enfant because he was a French citizen. But, since they’re throwing out the public vote in favor of their own private ballot, it really doesn’t matter.

Want to speak up about this gross miscarriage of statuary justice? Drop them an Email or better, call them up at 202.724.5613 and tell them that we want Duke Ellington instead of Pierre Had to Have Funky Diagonal Streets To Confuse the Tourists and Cabbies.

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Or better yet, “neighborhoods you’ll never live in,” this interesting little map I found on Rebuilding Place in the Urban Space is a very telling.

Note how the high-dollar folks are concentrated along the Potomac River, elevating it more than say Connecticut Avenue or Route 66, as the wealth artery through our fair city.

My only question is why the big pink patch below Route 66, seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

What might that be, and why?

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How should a WMATA Metrobus driver alert police, in a subtle way, to say an altercation on his bus? A phone call would be too obvious. A little red “alert” button? Not yet installed.

A casual “Emergency – Call Police” on the route sign? Perfect!

This was the scene at 15th Street and Irving Streets NW a few days ago. A DC MPD police car sped to the scene and boarded the bus lickety-quick.

Response apparently all for naught as folks exited and boarded the bus casually and once the police talked with the driver and walked the bus’s length, the police officer left.

The bus, still flashing “Emergency – Call Police” drove on.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

We finally did it, we finally hit 100!

If we can coax out another degree from the mercury column, we’d officially break the 1930 record, as it is, we’re tied with the record. Tomorrow? Thunderstorms and much cooler, only 93! Then the weekend will feel much less like fiery demise. Ahhhh, the heat wave! Tell us your great heat wave stories in the comments.

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So it’s the day before your birthday, you’re about to get in your truck at the Landover Metro Station, when you get a bad feeling. You know something is about to go down and then it does. A boy, say 10-12 years old grabs your cell phone and makes a run for it.

What do you do? How do you react in that split second as the little punk dissapears with the cell phone your father gave you for graduation? If you are Tiffany of GoldenTimeofDay there is only one reaction:

I take off after him…purse, work bag and all….in a black dress and flip flops…running across the entire Landover Parking Lot yelling:

“STOP THAT LITTLE BOY HE STOLE MY PHONE…“

And Tiffany, in flops and all, catches the little brat and goes all Paul Kersey on the boy, spraying a can of Whoop Ass on him. While you can read the blow by blow on her post about the attempted robbery, her central question is one I wonder often too:

what is happening to our kids? Why….why….why….

Now we have a new body for the penal system, a young one at that. A fresh-faced phone snatcher, who may one day, be the purse snatcher, the real-gun robber that sparks a Crime Emergency in years to come.

Until then, heads up if you headed out east on the Orange line. It seems these mini-thieves are targeting Nextel phones for the resale value.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Jon Stewart’s coming to the Merriweather Post Pavilion next month for an “intimate ” show with, like, several thousand of your closest friends. The worst of it? The ticket prices. Sure, Merriweather’s a great location out in the area around Columbia, MD, but is it worth $85 a head to go? With $10 of that going to Ticketmaster couched as a “convenience” fee? (To whom are those fees convenient, exactly?)

I like the man, but I just don’t think I can come up with the bucks to shell out the $85 for decent seats, or even the $50 for the lawn seats. He’s funny, but damn if that’s not a lot of money just to see controversial.

Of course, if you’re a 9:30 club subscriber you know that the presale is on and the password might just have something to do with a former coworker of his who now has his own show. But we were never here. And you certainly didn’t hear it from us.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Dana Milbank has apparently been going through Senatorial Trash, specifically that of Barbara Boxer’s office on the Hill, stealing her phonetic pronunciation guides and the detritus of meetings with other Senators. With all the foofaraw surrounding the difference between journalism and blogging, if journalism means digging through trash, count me firmly in the blogger camp until that rule is lifted.

Bob Levey and Dana Milbank may be trashhounds, but I prefer to leave mine on the curb to be taken away. (Hat Tip to Mr. Mortman)

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While I’m on video egg checking just how hot it is, others are finding the heat too hot to handle. First up is Gridskipper, who denounced my egg-frying skills with this missive:

One, it is actually hot and, more importantly, the street is no place to fry an egg on a hot day…the best place to fry an egg would be on a dark rooftop, not on the street.

Shocked that the normally fun and playful Gridskipper went snarky on the Kings of Snark, I investigated and found the root cause of Gridskippers bitchiness. From the Head Grid himself:

[Your comments ability request] shall be granted though sadly not tonight since the heat somehow f[**]ked the internet for the entire lower east side.

Ouch, sorry about that Gridskipper. Folks in DC can feel your pain today too. From this morning’s Alert DC Utility Outage email:

PEPCO reports scattered outages for the District, in locations of upper Northwest and some parts of Northeast. PEPCO stated that 3,824 customers are affected and the problem could possibly be a tripped feeder. PEPCO units are working on the problem now. EMA will continue to monitor.

That would be 3,824 now sweltering Internet-less readers without their favorite websites, Metroblogging DC and Gridskipper.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Yes, you, little brown one. It is so nice to see you back in Metrorail stations, small, squat, and silent. You do what you do without protest.

You take in my refuse, my trash, my waste without emotion, without care. And so you should.

WMATA spent $800,000 on buying you and your friends, bomb-proof trash cans that can hold my used Express or an express bomb.

Wait, my used Express should go in your friend, the newspaper recycle bin, the one exiled outside the station proper.

Oh well, do not fret, do not feel lonely. I still like you, I still use you. My little trashy friend.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Back in February and March, I touched on the battle over Source Theater’s future, and the future of arts development in my rapidly revitalizing ‘hood. Now it appears that the outcry of locals and the theater community over the possibility of a billiards bar in that spot has borne real fruit. As detailed by the Post today, the building will be bought by the Cultural Development Organization (CuDC) for development into a performing arts space.

Being the skeptic that I am, I was a little surprised that art won over pool cues, and more than a little, ah, skeptical over the potential for success, especially given the legacy of debts and accusations of mismanagement that have dogged the Source, a once successful and nationally known small theater that was the proving ground for several Washington theater professionals.

But it’s still an exciting idea to me, adding an arts venue to one of the more interesting blocks in town. As I’ve said before, I want it all for my 14th Street – shops, bars, restaurants, art galleries, theaters, concert halls – more more
more! One only has to look at Studio’s impact on Logan Circle’s revitalization to see what a successful “art fuels development” plan can do.

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