During my drive to the office yesterday the station I was listening to suddenly went to static. Rather than doing the smart thing and flipping on the XM, I started surfing around the FM dial. What a mistake.

I happened upon Elliot and his crew of mensa rejects already in the middle of talking to some fellow on the phone. From jail. I have no idea what he was picked up for, but mid-call someone else called in from some local restaurant saying they wanted to take all the prisoners food. Okaaayyyy… Then at the end of the call Elliot rambled about wanting to give the guy a job, though when they turned to joking about how he’d already done something like that by employing one of the other clowns yattering in the background it became clear this wasn’t a very serious desire.

The real moment that drove me off the channel was the two or three minutes these knuckleheads spent going on and on about how this guy was still in jail pending his hearing rather than being out on bail. “I mean, how pissed must you be with your family that nobody would pony up the two hundred and fifty bucks to bail you out?” When he asked the dude on the phone this question the fellow pretty much verbally shruged and dodged the question, but that didn’t stop them from going on and on about it at the end of the call once the prisoner was off the phone. $250! Only $250 and he’s still in there. How do you not have one family member who cares enough to come get you for just $250?

Let me clue you in on something, Elliot and Cretins. Listen careful now.

There’s a lot of people for whom $250 is a tremendous amount of money.

If you need a little insight, John Scalzi wrote a good essay called Being Poor. If you’d like to put your actions where your sheltered mouth is, a lot of people would appreciate it if you got involved in ex-con employment. Recidivism is a big problem for all of us, not just former prisoners who now can’t get employment (or food stamps, family welfare benefits or federally subsidized housing if it was a felony drug conviction, thanks to the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996) – 43% of the murder victims in DC in 2003 had been released from the D.C. jail or a federal prison within the preceding two years, a clear sign that a lot of people get out and right into a bad situation. Not to mention the 30% or so who are back in prison within 6 months, costing us all money to warehouse them.

So pick up the phone and call the Baltimore, Maryland office of America Works, Elliot. The Manhattan Institute, a conservative organization, identifies their program as a successful one that saves us all money.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Remember last week’s bus stop blow by, when a Metrobus driver dared to skip my bus stop, and I chased him down in a taxi?

Well today I received this somehow unfulfilling email from WMATA Customer Service:

Dear Mr. Vota:

Thank you for your recent email regarding the problems that you experienced when the S4 Metrobus driver failed to stop for you. We realize that our customers expect reliable, courteous bus service, and we are sorry that this operator did not deliver that level of service.

The information you have provided will help us to identify the driver so that we can take proper disciplinary action. The driver will be interviewed and re instructed to service each bus stop along the route. Safe and courteous service is the responsibility of every employee, and Metro will not tolerate conduct that falls short of that standard.

We apologize for the inconvenience you experienced. We appreciate your bringing this incident to our attention and we thank you for your patronage.

Sincerely,
Office of Customer Relations
Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority

Thankfully, its not a form letter, they actually took the time to write about my specific incident, but the bus driver intervention doesn’t feel like its enough.

I think having him be missed by a bus (or two), preferably when he’s running late for a date and it’s raining, would be more educational. What do you think?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Okay, so I’m a little bit too busy salivating to fully process all the details at this point, but what I got from Jason Storch’s post is that the Galileo Grill sandwiches are going to be available at Roberto Donna’s new restaurant, Bebo Trattoria, in Crystal City. That’s about as far as I got before the anticipatory food coma set in.

But then Tom pointed me to Metrocurean’s post that Bebo Trattoria will be open by the end of the month.

Mmm… guess where you’ll find me for lunch?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Ward 3 Lunatic Jonathan Rees is known for all manner of internet trollery, but apparenty he forgot to register his own name at Blogspot, something done for him by a group of his detractors in some sort of cosmic vengeance plan. Be sure to read up on our favorite internet troll. If you’re interested in writing for the site on Jonathan Rees, I’m hearing that they’re looking for additional bloggers, feel free to post in the comments if you’re interested.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

While I love the occasional mani/pedi, every month I need a haircut. And not one to go Supercuts with what’s left of my hair, I’ve taken to following the seemingly official international NGO hairstylist around DC.

Donna is a master of the scissors, an artist with the electric razor, and more importantly, a gifted Thai masseuse. Before she goes all Edward Scissorhands on your mane, she gives you the most relaxing head, neck, and shoulder massage.

Today, like times before, I was putty in her hands as she cut my hair, the morning’s stress gone from my mind. My hair wasn’t all that was on Donna’s mind though. She kept answering her cell phone, which was very out of character for her usually quiet and modest manner.

Thai Tanks in Downtown Bangkok

Asking her what was up, I proceeded to get a play-by-play of today’s coup attempt in Thailand.

The Thai military is attempting to overthrow the government of Caretaker Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra and Donna had a direct family connection to all the action.

Thai Coup Links: CNN | BBC News | Metroblogging Bangkok

Oh, and if that massage + haircut sounds perfect, Thai government updates or not, do go see Donna @ Fusion Day Spa (formerly Today’s Look) at the corner of 17th and L Streets NW – (202)223-8182

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I was forwarded an email today that made some astounding contentions regarding our fair city and our homicide rate:

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a monthly firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period.

That means that you are about 33% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington immediately.

Sadly, I think their data is horribly mangled. If you look at the MPD’s data for the past few years, you’ll see that the total homicide count, roughly, since March of 2003 is a little over 700. There are 550,000 residents of DC, which would put the total percentage of murders per 100,000 people to approximately 127.8 over the span of 33 months, averaging 3.8 murders per month over that 33 month span per 100,000 people. There have been 2686 American deaths in Iraq since the start of the war in March of 2003, making 1678.8 deaths per 100,000 soldiers, or 50.8 deaths per month.

By no means is DC anywhere near as dangerous as Iraq and it’s folly to say so. Not to mention, DC’s statistics do not break out gun deaths specifically. The whole thing’s a bad crafted myth, proven demonstrably false with limited resources and research. For shame.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

photo courtesy of GiselaGi ardino’s

Tonight the International Club of DC is hosting “An Evening in Buenos Aires,” which is a highfalutin way of saying that you can come take a brief tango lesson, see a show and stick around to put your newly developed tango skills to use.

If you’re already educated in that arena, you can show up at 9pm just for the dancing and save $5 off the price of admission. Those of us desperately in need of coaching – and in my case likely far more than can be crammed into an hour – should arrive at 7:45pm and be prepared to pay $20. Under either plan, business or cocktail attire is requested.

The festivities are at Meze Restaurant Bar & Lounge in Adams Morgan
2437 18th street NW
Washington DC

Once can only hope that the show is as hot as the photo I decided not to use to illustrate this story… after the jump.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs Continue reading →

Photo by DC Metroblogger

I know what you’re thinking. “Did she whistle for me to stop?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement she may have lost track herself.

But being as this is a Traffic Enforcement Officer (TEO), who received two days of traffic direction training at the MPD Academy – one day more than police officers themselves receive during their training, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I obey?

Well, do ya, punk?

Are you really gonna cross against her wishes? Are you gonna risk a strenuous whistle if you do? And if you keep going, what might she do? Whistle again?

Test her. See what happens.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

I’m loving this creepy photo of the Washington Monument by andertho. Maybe it’s just me, but the dark silhouettes, the spooky blue lighting, and the burnt out lamp all give me the willies. This is definitely not a night that you want to be walking around the Mall for fear of the Headless Horseman lopping your melon off, or Jack the Ripper…well…you know what Jack does, and it isn’t pleasant.

Seriously, I really like this photo because it sets up a certain mood for the viewer and shows our beloved monument in a new and different way. The tree on the right is a little distracting and I’d prefer if the exposure was a skosh brighter, but overall it’s a job well done in my book. I just hope a mute guy on a horse isn’t galloping around with andertho’s head in his grasp….

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Avast, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day here and all over the world. Can ye scurvy dogs imagine what DC could be like if all the Hill rats spoke in Pirate?

Rep. Tom Davis: Avast me hearties, it is a good day to legislate.
Sen. Ted Kennedy: Aye, I’ve had me grog, and I be ready to set forth the laws of this here land.
Rep. Tom Davis: Arrrrrr.

Not sure what I’m talking about? Check out this informative video on talking like a pirate. Practice with your friends! Or, pick up a stylish t-shirt!.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Click on Image for Video

While the Capitol Building bollards apparently can’t stop a SUV, the bollards around the White House should be able to keep even delivery trucks at bay.

How do I know? This amazing delivery truck vs. bollard You Tube video submitted by alert reader Web Jedi when he read about yesterday’s Capitol Building SUV attack.

While the bollards in the video aren’t exactly the same as the ones around the White House, they look the same and I would assume that would work the same.

Still, I could see one simple way around the bollards: a vehicle slingshot over the bollards.

Note how the delivery truck’s cargo flies out over the cab in the video. Now put a bomb delivery vehicle, or just the bomb itself, on rails in the cargo hold and with enough truck speed and cargo mass, you have a great airborne launch for your bomb SUV.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Let’s say a friend suggests a girls’ night out to dinner at Buck’s Fishing & Camping in Upper NW. Being a curious diner, you look it up in the Post’s City Guide. Following the very nice review by Tom Sietsema, you peruse a cavalcade of negative reader reviews. “Hmmm…” you think, “wasn’t there also some controversy about a potential lawsuit over food pics? What gives with this place?” Then you can’t help but noticing how, um, petty some of the reader complaints seem. You remember the buzz about chef Carole Greenwood being “difficult,” much the same way Debra Winger was called “difficult” or any other number of strong-willed women. You begin to wonder, what kind of night will this be?

In a word, perfect.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs Continue reading →

There’s an article in the Post today that’s going to cause some coronaries amongst the DC crowd. The section in question reads:

Despite Gallery Place’s prefab jumble of modern and historic-looking facades, he pronounced it free of “urban development crimes.”

“They didn’t violate this neighborhood by destroying its history,” he said, though he looked askance at a CVS sign and a Fuddruckers.

I’m sure that Wayan is having an apoplectic fit right about now. Has the character of Chinatown changed to make it “more authentic” to the “Creative Class” that DC is courting for its revitalization? Can authenticity be engineered and designed by city planners, or is it something that can only happen after the fact? Does Chinatown represent any of that?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Never say we’re not looking out for you, constant readers. Wayan displayed his comfort in his masculinity and talked about needing a good pedicure last week. A commenter expressed an interest in getting a house call for her soon-to-deliver sister. Well Melissa, your wish request is our command: I give you Nail Taxi.

Okay, Cinnamon Bowser actually gives you Nail Taxi, inspired pretty much by exactly what Melissa wants to do for her sister, but I’m telling you about it now. Ten months after Daily Candy did, sure, but WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? All you do is TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE! What about MY needs? *sob*

*deep breath*
*note to call therapist – is thorazine available in family-sized discount packs?*

Nail Taxi’s $35 for basic service isn’t going to get any awards for cheapest offerings, but what do you expect? They bring the tools to you and spend their time in transit, rather than you. Best of all in my not-so-humble opinion is that you don’t have to go into a room that smells the way the average salon does: like a Du Pont chemical factory on a hot day.

Yeah, I know what a nail salon smells like. You think Wayan’s the only one comfortable in his masculinity?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Well look what I found on the corner of 16th and Irving Streets NW: a DC MPD surveillance camera. That would be in addition to the red light camera on 16th Street facing the Irving Street intersection.

Why should we care about another MPD CCTV? Because this camera would’ve seen the red light runner who caused a DC bus kiss and a 16th Street parking lot last week.

It also sees more than traffic incidents, perched in the middle of the 15th, 16th, and Irving intersection. It sees you walking along the street, and me taking its photo. Now lets see if it does what its supposed to.

Lets see if this camera saw who caused the Metro buses to collide.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Oh God, but the Skins do suck. Yesterday’s demoralizing loss at the hands of the Cowboys was absolutely telling. The O-Line couldn’t keep Brunell protected, and as a result, what could be a good offense was reduced to nothing but a boatload of sacks and losses. The Cowboys camp spent all of yesterday bitching and crying about penalties and injuries, making me wonder if they’d had a healthy, less felon-dominated roster, could it have been much worse? It’s entirely possible that it could have.

Joe Gibbs shouldn’t have slept last night. Or if he did, I’m sure his dreams were dominated by screaming Wilbons and Kornheisers demanding blood in exchange for his sins. So, what can the old man do to regain his stature? Here are my suggestions:

Fix the O-Line: 6 sacks of Brunell in a single week suggests that the average lineman for the Skins is actually a 12 year old girl. Seriously, no O-line, no running game, and you can kiss half your passing game goodbye too.

3rd Down Toughness: The Skins converted only 2 of their 14 3rd downs this week. Two. No third down success means no offense, which means we get pounded like a nerd in high school.

Running Game: It doesn’t seem to matter who we put next to Brunell out there, no one’s getting any yards. Santana Moss has more rushing yards than T.J. Duckett. Something ain’t right here.

What else is wrong? I know ya’ll have opinions on the matter, because quite frankly, these guys suck. Tell us why.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

All the barricades around the Capitol Building, which look like they could stop a tank, only inconvenience SUV drivers.

This morning around 8am, an armed man in a light-colored SUV drove through a barricade at the Capitol in the vicinity of the visitors’ center construction.

Only bending a fender after surmounting the barricades and crashing into a water fountain, he jumped out of the SUV and ran into the Rotunda, with Capitol Police hot on his trail.

The Capitol went into lock down, and the guy was arrested in the basement, apparently mid-seizure. CNN has more details and a video.

All drama aside, I got $5 that says the Capitol Police will institute a Capitol Hill SUV ban by week’s end.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

“Four-Eyed Monsters” may be coming to a theatre near us if we vote for it. Basically, movie directors Arin Crumley and Susan Buice have made the promise that if at least 150 people from a particular metro area request that the film be screened, they will make it happen. So far the count in the DC area is up to 171, but we still lag behind other cities such as Seattle and Austin. So why try to bump it up if it’s already there? Well, I am guessing that if there are more requests iin a particular area, that area may get higher on their list.

Over thinking it? Probably.

So what is “Four Eyed Monsters?” Arin and Susan describe it best on their web site:

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs Continue reading →

Now that the primary is over, and Fenty will be our new mayor once the rubber stamp official election happens in November, what was your dream candidate?

I’m talking no-chance-in-hell possibilities, like pre-Bush Cabinet Colin Powell or post-CBS News Dan Rather.

Either would be better than writing in for Faith, but not nearly as colorful. I think, if I could decide solo, it would be for someone take-charge and distinctive.

Wait, I didn’t have to write in for that. Fenty was on the ballot already.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Alfonso Soriano stole his fortieth base last night in the second inning in front of a lackluster crowd at RFK last night. When he stood up and asked for time, he became the fourth man in the history of the game of baseball to steal 40 bases and hit 40 homers in a single season, joining the likes of Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez. Soriano is likely the least controversial of these figures, his only sin is being unhappy with his position, not the drugs and spousal abuse and arrests that plagued Canseco in Oakland, or the steroids/balco scandal surrounding Barry Bonds, or the constant money discussion with regard to A-Rod.

Soriano goes out there, despite a team that is bad on a good day, and absolutely shines in the lights of RFK. Jim Bowden, re-sign Alfonso Soriano now. If you let him go, it will be an absolute crime.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs