Car, meet tree by magnetbox

According to Alert DC, that annoying yet informative service that notifies you of water main breaks, car accidents, and even heat emergencies, all westbound lanes on I-66 are blocked just outside of DC due to a downed tree.  Between the possibility of severe thunderstorms, 60 mph winds, and now fallen timber on the highway, your commute may be less than enjoyable tonight.

The good news is, it’s Friday.

“Is that a picture of Obama with a Hitler mustache?” Why yes, it is. One of many delightful images being displayed at La Rouche PAC’s table setup at 3rd and Penn this afternoon. There, they were handing out pamphlets entitled “Act Now to Stop Obama’s Nazi Health Plan” and asking passers-by “When did Obama lose his mind?” When I asked the woman didn’t she think they were being a little bit overdramatic and purposely capitalizing on people’s fear and resistance to socialized health care with their Hitler comparisons, she responded flatly that this was entirely serious. Wow, whacko indoctrination at its best. There is so much wrong and upsetting about these people — who among other things, quoted back Obama’s words about his dying grandmother to support their argument that he is proposing healthcare similar to Hitler’s T-4 plan — that I can’t begin. But just wow. I’m all for educated and educational health care debate and for the First Amendment, but ugh *shudders*.

‘Screech Owl nestling’
courtesy of ‘ben.wurst’

So, Dustin “Screech” Diamond is headlining the comedy show at Listrani’s in Arlington tonight and tomorrow. The fact that you probably didn’t know that Listrani’s Pizza had comedy is your hint about how well it functions as a comedy club. The fact that Screech is headlining it is your hint about how well his career is going. (The pizza is pretty tasty though, if you’re wondering.)

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t even mention it, because usually I make it a point to only highlight local comedians, but a) Mike Eltringham is opening for him, and Mike is quite funny even if Diamond skates by on the novelty of being Screech-All-Growed-Up-And-Cussin’, and b) Eltringham wrote a HI-FREAKING-LARIOUS blog takedown of Diamond’s contract rider, in light of his upcoming appearance at Listrani’s.  You really, really should click through and read the whole thing, but here’s a highlight:

HOSPITALITY: Purchaser to provide at no cost to Artist the following in his dressing room:
* 4 half-liter bottles of non-carbonated spring water. (2 chilled, 2 at room temp. )
* 4 cans of Red Bull
* 2 pints chocolate milk, 2 pints 2% milk (chilled.)
* 4 x 20 ounce bottles of Pepsi or Coke (chilled.)
* If performing in a club, 6 bottles of Michelob Ultra or Miller Lite per day.

Have you ever came home from a long day of work and thought, “Christ, did I have a long day today. I can’t wait to ease into my favorite recliner, kick my feet up, and begin consuming 2 liters of water, 80 ounces of Coke, 4 pints of milk (two of which are chocolate, all of which are chilled), 4 Red Bulls, and 6 bottles of Michelob Ultra or Miller Lite? Then I’ll really be able to unwind!”

Seriously, go read it.

Bread for the City and the Coalition for Community Investment have teamed up to launch the new website Save our Safety Net.com and get the word out about the ramifications of proposed District budget cuts.  DC is almost $200 million in debt, a severe problem for the future growth and health of the district. However, nearly half of the proposed budget cuts will affect social services and programs for low-income individuals.

What specific programs will be effected by these cuts? Programs that support rental assistance, adoption subsidies, financial assistance to grandparents taking care of grandchildren, adult literacy and workforce development, to name a few. Sign the petition today and let city officials know that the debt of the city cannot be paid on the backs of its poorest residents.

‘I don’t know TWITTER WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME’
courtesy of ‘Torley’ based on the original illustration by twitter user @yiyinglu

The National Symphony Orchestra got the cute idea to send out program notes via Twitter for their performance of Beethoven’s “Pastoral Symphony” last night. As someone who finds detailed program notes invaluable in my ability to appreciate music, I think this is something I probably would have signed up for; and indeed concertgoers who tried it successfully reported that it enriched their concert experience. But the NSO didn’t count on their audience not being able to figure out Twitter, and on cell carriers’ general inability to deliver text messages in a timely manner. (Guys: this is why we use Twitter clients and mobile web. Srsly.)

(Of course, no mainstream media article on a company’s use of Twitter would be complete without the obligatory “OMG, what do people DO on Twitter” dig, no matter how COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT it is to the actual topic of the article, and WaPo’s article is no exception.  Thanks, guys!)

‘laughin”
courtesy of ‘knitters’

We’re all smiles to find out tonight that Kate Gosselin isn’t coming to Rockville after all. You may return to not giving a shit about fake TV celebrities. I know I will.

One of the Fojol Bros, Being Oppressed

All the Fojol Bros. wanted was to bring Merlindian cuisine to the hungry masses at Farragut Square. The line was long, but the Brothers worked tirelessly, slinging biryani to grateful customers. But OH NO, DC parking enforcement came and shut them down, disappointing countless office drones before they could get their curry. What? Where’s the Merlindian Diplomatic Immunity? What is our society coming to when a couple of Merlindian kids with a dream can’t serve paneer out of a truck in our nation’s capital? I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FREE SOCIETY!

Phonecam journalism courtesy of a concerned (and hungry!) bystanderMatthew Snyder. Click image to view the oppression in all its naan-squashing infamy.