Dear Fairlington Hoodlums:

How is it that in this age of video games, DVDs, portable music, and all-night youth rec centers, you are still so mind-stuntingly BORED that all you can think of to do to entertain yourselves is to SLASH MY FUCKING TIRES?

Is this your little act of teenage rebellion? Does your mommy not love you enough? Clearly she didn’t beat your ass enough, a situation I intend to remedy if I see you near my car again. I’m little, but I will pwn you.

I could understand if the hundreds of dollars I now have to spend to get new tires were going into your pockets. It would be wrong, but greed is a motivation I understand. But it’s just the old guys at the Shirlington Shell who are going to get my $700, and tomorrow night you’ll be out roaming the neighborhood again, just as bored as before.

Until I find you. Then you’ll be excited, but not in that fun way.

Love,

Tiff

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Check out WMATA’s new 6000 series rail car. Oh is the ride is sweet!

Starting last week, Metrorail will be adding them to the Green Line through the fall with other lines getting theirs in 2007 an onwards.

While I reviewed rail car 6037 in detail over at Live From the Third Rail, I know there are those at Metroblogging DC who will be ecstatic about one change in the 6000 series: less vertical poles in the middle of the car.

Why? Say goodbye to Mr. Lean Up Against the Metro Pole Man!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

What’s a protest without endless naval-gazing and literary diarrhea? Something other than the Gallaudet Jane Fernandes kerfuffle. My friend – though I am reconsidering that term after he has subjected me to this mental pain – sent me this link to the words (and words and words and words) of C.J. Heuer. Holy cosmic muffin, if you needed a reminder why so many people despise stuffed peacock academics, here’s a quick sample:

Notice how I don’t say, “I want you to listen to me,” or “I want you to hear what I say,” or “I want to talk to you.” As if the ability to listen or hear or talk is the same thing as the ability to understand. It isn’t. And that’s what we’ve been teaching at this university for more than eighteen years. We teach our students that ASL is a real language, and Deaf people are a linguistic minority. Not all of us teach this, to be sure, but many of us do, because this is what we believe.

This protest is about many things. It is probably not about the same thing for everyone, and that may be why it’s such a hard protest, such an ugly one, with such a hard message to understand. But among the issues that this protest is about, one is representation. Who and what is Jane K. Fernandes? Who and what is I. King Jordan? I write “what,” because a person is just as much a “what” as a person is a “who.” What are you? What am I? What are those two people?

In case you wondered, this guy teaches English. I used to wonder why communication was a completely separate discipline from English. I’ve rarely seen a better example that you can have one without the other.

Fallacy to me is a logical lie, and therefore not logic at all. But we accept lies. We live in lies. Lies are easier. Lies are orderly, or at least give the appearance of order. But always beneath those lies is the truth, and the truth is that if we live and work in a system that says “My opinion is more important than yours because I am an administrator and you are not,” then we are living and working in a destructive system, a violent system, a system of death.

Words fail me, but at least I’m not alone.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

While DCist is apparently pissing on itself in the Metro, look at the handy Exceloo relief station I found at the Huntington Metrorail station.

This would be a free, handicap accessible bathroom at the Huntington Avenue exit.

Now while the restroom could use a fan, the last customer left a nose-burning stink bomb, I would love to see such bathrooms at every Metrorail station. Or at least the ones it could fit into without slowing down traffic.

Then neither you nor DCist would be inconvenienced when next incontinent.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

One of the great things about photography that should be an inspiration to anyone who picks up a camera, is that there is no right or wrong subject to photograph (to an extent). To illustrate my point, check out these picture by fellow Flickrite IntangibleArts. I’ve been to Ben’s Chili Bowl many a times, but never have I noticed the crusty filth of a toaster that they see fit to use as a means to cook up some food. This fine specimen of an appliance was no doubt purchased in a decade far, far away, and yet somehow I find this to be an inspirational image. The colors, the grit, and the branding that make up this lovely shot make me realize just how much of an institution BCB really is. You won’t see this baby in your local Cosi.

Speaking of institutions, if you haven’t gotten yourself up to the amazing little bar known as Wonderland, you’re missing out on one of the best ‘hole in the wall’ bars in town. Technically called The Wonderland Ballroom (although I’ve never seen a ball or any gowns for that matter), this dive is the perfect place to go on a Saturday night with your friends to drink, chill, and listen to some great tunes on the jukebox. But I digress. The photo below says it all about Wonderland, with a beat up funky wall, an ashtray, a random bumper sticker, and yes, a table top arcade game. If you’re from the Midwest you’ll feel right at home here, and just looking at this photo transports me away from the hustle and bustle of DC and into a laid back fun atmosphere.

All of that being said, I’d like to point out that I will never, ever bring my camera equipment to either of these fine establishments, but you might, and just think of the treasures that are out there waiting for you.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Apparently, the GOP hired David Zucker (of Airplane! fame, amongst other delicious comedy spoofs) to produce an ad for the Fall of 2006 Election Cycle. They saw the ad, and five minutes later when they regained the power of speech again, they rejected it out of hand.

Fools.

Anyhow, Drudge got a copy and put it on the internets for all to see. Much like the puppy ads in the Steele/Cardin campaign, it represents the best of hilarious ads that we ought to see instead of the staid, stilted and staged ads that we’re seeing from both of the parties. We need to shake things up, not keep them the same and that means getting light-hearted once in a while.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Revolution Cycles has exceeded my expectations for helpfulness, courtesy and not laughing at me, despite my lack of knowledge. Let’s face it – I was trying to keep it old school when I started looking for a bike but settled for one off the local Freecycle site and ended up with a decent product, but not without need of repair. And no big banana seat like I was hoping for – more of a practical, sensible seat. I was very disappointed.

So in I walk to Revolution Cycles at Clarendon with my wife at my side and a bicycle wheel in my hand, looking desperately for someone who could hook me up with a new inner tube or two. Preferably two, since I need to ride on both wheels. I halfway expected someone to laugh at me for having to bring the whole wheel. I had no idea how inner tubes were sized. I knew this was a sure way to get what I needed.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs Continue reading →

I had occasion to visit my friendly neighborhood Petco yesterday on Washington Blvd. in Arlington. When I pulled into the two-car parking lot I saw this:

(Yes, that’s my car in the picture. No, I didn’t do the damage and then create this post to make people think it was someone else.)

I was a little alarmed because it looked like an old collision that simply had not been repaired. Then I wondered how this had happened and decided that somebody had pulled in, as I did, expecting there to be more than two spots in the lot, hit a car and pushed it into the building. Either that or else somebody’s brakes gave out or maybe the car was in drive rather than reverse. Who knows… At any rate, you’d think the store would want to improve appearances, unless they are simply keeping this branch alive until the building collapses. I think that time may not be too far off at this rate.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

That’s exactly what the student-protestors at Gallaudet have demanded from their administration in order to end their week long protest and occupation of the university’s main classroom facility in DC. They’re still protesting over the appointment of Jane Fernandes to the Presidency.

Fernandes is fairly surprised at the campus uprising, as would, I imagine, anyone else appointed to a University President position, unless they had, say, committed war crimes of something. Much of the student community is claiming that she’s not a strong enough leader, but I would put a fair bet that it also has to do with the fact that Fernandes grew up speaking, and not signing.

Included amongst the demands from the student body is an amnesty for all involved, as well as a direct line to the Board of Trustees, something that I’m fairly sure every University oughtta have, so there’s one point in their favor at least…

Are we near the end of the controversy, or are things just heating up?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

When the Washington Post first started its free Express magazine, I was a skeptic. I figured it was another way for the Post to prop up is declining market share and scare off any free daily competition.

So far, I’ve been proved right; the Express is the Post as written for USA Today readers. It hasn’t stemmed the slide of the Post circulation, and could even be a reason for it.

No matter what its rationale, there is no reason for the Express to be causing this mess.

Enough trees already die for the Post’s unread classified ads, killed by Criagslist, eBay, and the like, or entire papers that clog my building’s recycle bin.

The Post need not over print and over stuff in a sad attempt to over sell its Express readership too.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

photo courtesy of pqs

“How many bomb threats should someone sanely be expected to endure at their place of employment?”

That question was put to me by a friend who works at Gallaudet University where the students and some faculty continue to protest the selection of Jane K. Fernandes as the university’s president. My answer was “0.” My friend’s number is a little higher.

“I’m up to 4 now. Yesterday’s, one last week, one last graduation day, and one a few years ago that some genius posted to some web site.”

At some point soon Gallaudet’s going to be up to Boy Who Cried Wolf status, if they aren’t there already. So if one of you clowns calling or writing in these phony threats is reading this, let me connect the dots for you: if at some point in the future some sort of IED goes off and injures or kills someone because they didn’t evacuate – because they’d gotten so used to bullshit false alarms – that blood is on your hands. Doesn’t matter if you have nothing to do with it or if it’s in response to some different cause a whole other group of spoiled children are making noise about: you’re a part of creating terror now and your little tantrums are affecting people’s behavior. Not only are you disrupting people’s lives, whether they be trying to earn a living or get an education, but you’re making them think that officials and police asking them to get away from the site of a possible explosion is nothing to worry about.

Grow up.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

What, do tell is an equitation field?

Might that be where equations run and play, hoping one day to grow from quadratic to quartic?

Or could it be for horses, those beasts of burden so often seen working the streets of DC?

If we check Google for “equitation field“, what do we find? Our very own Rock Creek Park equitation field at the top of the list, just beating out San Francisco’s Bercut.

Yes, DC, hold your horse head high, we’re Google famous now!

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Y’all may be interested to know that Craigslist is going to start charging for job postings in DC, Seattle, San Diego, and Boston starting October 22.

It’ll probably do quite a bit to improve the quality of the postings at Craigslist, which is great for the literally 2% of DC residents who are unemployed, but it’s going to be wildly annoying for recruiters employed by international companies who only have accounts on useless national boards like Monster and Hotjobs, who will suddenly have to fill out an expense report every time they want to use Craigslist. *cough* Not that I have an opinion about this, or anything.

(No, really, I think this is a move that makes a lot of sense for Craigslist. It inconveniences me personally, but Craigslist isn’t really for ME, after all.)

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

How bad do you want falafel? How much do you really crave it?

Enough to stand in line? How about a line down the stairs? And onto the sidewalk?

This is the line for Amsterdam Falafel, the Adams Morgan falafel shop, on a Sunday. Anyone have a clue why it’s worthy of the wait?

I know its easily better than jumbo slice pizza but is the falafel really that good? The grain hand grown? The side of humus chick peas hand mashed? Or are these kids toking the hookah too much today?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

What might a dozen very ernest AU students do on a beautiful Sunday? How about putting out a buffet for the Dupont Circle homeless.

Its only too bad that the self-respecting street people spurn the “Food not Bombs” kids’ bagels and pasta for real food.

The hungry today? Passing people annoyed that Wrap Works is closed.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

This weekend is the Mt. Vernon Wine Festival, and if you are a wine lover, this is your weekend to booze it up.

There are wine samples from many of the areas wineries and tasty treats from Marvelous Market to cleanse the palate between Merlots and Cabernet Francs.

But if you are like me, a hard-core wine drunkard connoisseur, you will be disappointed. Wine is not served by the glass, only by the sip. I guess they expect you to get a good buzz taste from just one swallow.

Photo by DC Metroblogger

I got real smart, real fast and only stood in line for the wineries that gave out a decent pour. I am a Fox and Hounds regular, you know.

The wine sipping apparently was enough to make other folks get crazy. See this unassuming couple here – not George and Martha Washington, but the youngin’s.

See that big-ass smile on the girl’s face and George’s shock? Well, Patagucci-boy just gave Martha a box to hold and seconds later (after I was told to stop photographing) he dropped to one knee.

Yes, there was a marriage proposal at the Mt. Vernon Wine Festival. A sweet, romantic, wet, and cold moment of love.

My contribution? As I followed a supermodel up the stairs, George W. asked me: “Will you be next, dear sir?” My instant reply: “Hell no!”

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

They’re here. Where are you?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Well, Art on the Avenue isn’t as sunny and warm as last year but this one is just as well attended, it seems. This is the view out of my booth, where you can come buy a Nice Mirror, but if that’s not your style there’s a lot of other great stuff here. And the food…. between the BBQ across the street from me and the crab cake booth next to me (do the organizers WANT me to get fat fatter?) and the brats and indian food down the road there’s something for everyone. And that’s just on the 1/4 of the stretch I’ve had a chance to check out.

Come by – the show’s going on for another 5 hours till 6pm. Once we’re gone it’ll be another year…..

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

Hello my little lost friends. Where are you headed today? You know you can’t pass that yellow line – your wheels will lock.

Who left you out here, all alone and wanting? Might you need a push back inside?

Or are you happy here, in the fall’s morning light? Taking in a cool breeze, a morning’s sight.

Either way, I will let you be. I need to shop, I need to buy, comsume, fill your brethren with my goods and sundries.

Enjoy your respite. The weather sure is nice.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Photo by DC Metroblogger

This is the postcard rack at Mt Vernon, George and Martha house.

Do not get too excited though. These postcards do not come with a need item: stamps. For some obscure and annoying reason, stamps are not sold at the gift shop.

Wanna guess how many people ask in a day and the number of lost sales when they are disappointed?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs