A coworker was recently conducting an interview and I couldn’t help overhearing the candidate using language I sure wouldn’t use when trying to make a good impression on someone. Yes, I go to an actual office a few days each week. Get off my case. It’s part of my socialization plan developed by Wayan, who thinks I should be getting some discipline and doing something with my life.

Last year I was in an interview and the person who was trying to recruit me cussed like a broke sailor at a cash-only liquor store. I was shocked but others I talked to later on seemed to take it as normal.

I know DC isn’t part of the polite South that I grew up in, but for crying out loud, shouldn’t we have some decency in formal settings? I would especially refrain from swearing during a job interview unless I really did not want the job. On the other hand, I once laughed out loud at something a prospective boss said, thinking it was so ridiculous that it must be a joke. Turned out he was just full of bad ideas.

So what’s up, DC? Is it part of the culture here to use such foul language during interviews?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Okay, so not every father needs to look like a porn star or like a character from “Planet of the Apes,” but show me the man who doesn’t absolutely need a matched set of a wooden Indian and wooden cowboy. This is the pinnacle of good taste and these pieces are suitable for any office, living room or even Dad’s den, where he hides and drinks while everyone thinks he is working.

They look to be hand-carved pieces, not that I would recognize the cheaper extruded alternative by just glancing. But they appear to be high quality. You know – for a wooden Indian and wooden cowboy.

These two lovely specimens are on display at the corner of Fairmont Ave. and Norfolk Ave. in Bethesda. I am sure, with a hand truck and enough willpower, you can tote these guys back to your place via Metro in no time and get them ready to ship to Dad.

Don’t tell me Dad already has a set like this. And if he doesn’t you better act now. You have waited too long already. By now Dad knows you love Mom more.

If you want to buy these, stop by the location I mentioned above or else leave a comment and I will post the phone number to call.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

What? Dad already looks like a porn star? Have him try this one on for size.

Again, our friends at Crown Wigs are giving up the love with this wig and beard combo that looks a bit like Taylor from Planet of the Apes. Who doesn’t want to look like a young, half-naked Charlton Heston? I bet this combo has the same results as the previous example, especially when he bellows for effect, “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

Watch the ladies go wild!

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Yes, that’s a guitar in a Shakespeare production.
The King of Navarre, Berowne, Dumaine,
and Longaville, rocking out.

I dedicate this “review [almost] too late to do you any good” to Ed. Hi Ed!

Not-so-freshly back from my vacation to other metblogs cities Vancouver and Seattle, I went to see the Free-for-All presentation of Love’s Labor Lost. I wrote about it last week and commented that I was skeptical about the temporal replacement. Well, it was… odd.

Overall a good odd, however, and I’d suggest that if you’re willing to take your shot at tickets you should go. Love’s Labor’s Lost has a somewhat carnival-esque feel to it at times, at least until the train-wreck sudden (and just as cheery) ending, and the addition of musical numbers, instrumentation, and, yes, air guitar works well within it. None of the performances are bad and Nick Choski as Moth is standout perfect on every line. The Indian accents and content, however, didn’t work well for me. The original language is preserved and I felt like in a few points the actors’ accents fought with the cadence and made some lines harder to understand.

If you’re a serious theater snob who can’t tailor your expectations to the venue, however, I’d suggest you stay away. I’m a serious crank about people disturbing my Experience but I went into this with lowered expectations of peace & quiet. Thankfully. Aside from the plethora of kids of all ages – some running up and down the aisles – there was the ritual emptying of the trash cans midway through act two.

You’ve got two possible showings to go to before it closes, Saturday the 2nd and Sunday the 3rd. Tickets will not be available at WaPo so you’ve got to choose between the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Lansburgh Theatre or Carter Baron Amphitheatre itself. In both cases the giveaway starts at Noon. Be in line early.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Like Wayan, I am also not a big fan of the CVS at 15th and K. It’s shabby, cramped, poorly-lit, and even more poorly-stocked, as opposed to the CVS at Connecticut and K, which I worked right next to for over two years. But I had a brief experience there today that made me think I could develop some affection for it.

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I was driving through McLean last night and needed to stop to pick up some groceries. By the way, McLean is in Virginia, for those of you who don’t like to cross water.

I went into the Giant supermarket on Old Dominion Blvd. and was immediately smacked in the face by the very pungent smell of what I at first thought was cat pee. I quickly moved away, into the produce section, which had the wonderful smell of fruits grown to be as large and/or colorful as possible. What a relief.

As soon as I edged out of the produce area I was again hit by the wall of urine odor. That’s when I noticed that the smell and concentration of odor was directly related to the proximity to the Starbucks kiosk.

Was it something in their coffee or simply an ammonia-based cleaning agent? Was it, in fact, cat pee? I honestly did not care. If I had not been turned off simply by their disgusting, bitter coffee, I now have a new reason to not go there. Thank goodness for Murky Coffee and its wonderful bounty of delicious brew.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Last night I got photographed by Wayan Vota, who showed up where I was having dinner, and today Tom Bridge stopped me at Murky Coffee, saying he recognized me from that picture. I feel like I have a good group of people I sort of know through various online communities and now they are coming out of the woodwork and becoming real instead of virtual.

Wayan and Tom are not the only two I have met recently after corresponding online for a while. I also recently got to meet Phil Shapiro, who is an author of children’s books and general IT guru, and Jill Foster, who is doing a really cool documentary called Living with Geeks. Both these people are active members of DC Media Makers, another mainly online entity.

Worlds collide! The online world and physical space I live in are intertwining in really cool ways. I think this is one of the coolest things about the web – being able to generate communities that start online and carry over to real human interaction. I know it’s nothing new and that this has been the basic operation model for online dating for quite a while, but it still thrills me to see these different worlds intersect.

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Tom and I are flying off to California for the Thanksgiving holiday next week. Since somewhere along the way I became a very high-maintenance girl and am picky about taking my favorite shampoo and conditioner with me when I travel, I got to thinking about Dulles security theater and how I ought to check on the best way to ensure that my Veganese doesn’t get confiscated at the security check. (That stuff is expensive.)

I found TSA’s official listing of prohibited and restricted items and got my question answered. But while I was scrolling on down the page, I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, my usual assumption is that rules are made and warnings are posted because some idiot tried to actually DO the thing that the rule warns against. So who’s the moron who tried to take his power saw onto a plane?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Name: Josiah Edward “Jed” Bartlet
Residence: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Occupation: POTUS, Leader of the Free World, Provider of Hope
Hobbies: Collecting old books, giving advice, running the country
Memorable Quotes:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, they said, that all men are created equal. Strange as it may seem, that was the first time in history that anyone had ever bothered to write that down. Decisions are made by those who show up.”

“I gotta tell you guys. You’ve pulled off a political first. You’ve managed to win me the support of the Christian Right and the Cheech and Chong fan club in the same day.”

To sum things up, Jed is the president that all of us wish we had. Well most of us anyway. If you are liberal minded and believe that there is still hope for our government and our country, just close your eyes and imagine Jed Bartlet sitting in the Oval Office instead of the current bozo. Now see? Didn’t your stress level just jump down a few notches?

When he’s not struggling with multiple sclerosis (his only insurmountable problem in life) he and his West Wing crew are taking the issues head on like a fine tuned machine. Given his impressive resume (governor of New Hampshire, Congressman, Nobel Prize winner, yada, yada, yada), his gift to gab, and his way with people, it’s no wonder this guy was elected for two terms in a row.

2008 is just around the corner people. If you don’t like your choices on the ballot, pencil in Jed Bartlett. He won’t let you down.

Other Fictional DC Residents

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Happy Birthday to local son and generally hilarious mofo Lewis Black, who turns 58 today.

To stir the pot, I’d like to present you with a couple of choice Lewis Black quotes about his hometown:

“I’m from Silver Spring, but I tell people I’m from Washington, DC. Because if you tell people you’re from Silver Spring, they think you’re a pussy.”

And of course:

“Its only claim to fame is that it’s the largest unincorporated city in America. In other words, we were too lazy to govern ourselves. The town motto was, ‘I’d like to vote, but I don’t feel like driving.'”

His latest HBO special, Lewis Black: Red, White, and Screwed was filmed right here at the Warner Theater downtown. Tom and I went to the filming, and you can read his comments from the MBDC archives.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Well, some things do. I guess a better way of putting it is that a photograph can make you see something from a different angle, in a different light, or make you think of something in a different way. I’m not sure Kenneth Snelson, the artist who created this “Needle Tower” in 1968 would agree with that statement, however most photographers would. It’s one thing to view the world through the amazing human eye, but photography allows you to focus on only part of your subject, remove color to accent the structure or contrast, and remove things from the field of view that may be distracting.

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If you’re not of a mind to come see Wayan pimp himself for charity, the Washington Projects for the Arts in conjunction with the Corcoran Galllery is having the second of three Experimental Media Series events this evening. I can’t tell you if it’ll be any good but it certainly seems to defy description. From the event announcement:

This collection of work takes us beyond the glossy sheen. With Free Radical, sound artist Joe Reinsel creates a seemingly familiar collage of voice, ambient noise and computer generated sounds that eerily resembles the chimes of a popular media outlet’s news format; exposing it as the perfectly composed, beautiful but empty noise that it is. Diane Dwyer’s We Have a Problem and Lisa Erdman’s Second Skin cleverly use repetition, commonly implored by politicians to keep us on message, to demonstrate how the over use of a word or phrase with a supposed clear meaning can morph into so many things that it quickly becomes meaningless. Performance artist Holly Bass will explore the idea of self -imposed isolation through the use of technology such as music devices and the new taboos it creates as ROMP. Through his frenetically paced Neurodancer II , Chris McDaniel seems to question the very notion of “user friendly” and positions what can be likened to a glitch or virus from the point of view of its creator, as a thing of insular beauty.

If you’re not fond of multi-media art it’s probably not the event for you. However if even one piece is as impresive as Graffiti Analysis was then it’ll be worth your while. I’m already committed to tonight’s auction but I’ll be there for the third event in May.

at the Corcoran Gallery of Art, Armand Hammer Auditorium (New York Avenue entrance.) from 7:00 – 9:00 pm
500 17th Street, NW, Washington, DC 20006

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Remember Barmy Wine and Liquor The place with free delivery for when your drunk ass can’t go get it yourself?

Right now there’s a sign in their window that says, “Wines as low as one penny!!!!!”

I don’t think I should drink anything that costs a penny a bottle. It’s not that I’m a wine snob or anything, but a girl’s gotta have some standards, no?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Since Jenn mentioned the Smithsonian Store as a good place to find unique holiday gifts, I figured I’d also mention the Post’s suggestions for homemade gifts from the Weekend section.

My future sister-in-law has a deep-seated hatred of February, so maybe paperwhite bulbs will be a good gift for her…

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs