‘DC United at RFK – Now and Forever -5858’
courtesy of ‘Joe Tresh’

So yesterday I told you to get your tickets FAST for Saturday’s D.C. United soccer match against L.A. Galaxy, aka Beckham. If you haven’t taken my advice yet and bought your tickets, now’s your chance to vote “Hot or Not? You make the call,” but this time, you are voting for the home team.

For a chance to win TWO free passes to Saturday night’s game, you must comment on this post with who you think is the hottest D.C. United player! The deadline to enter is tomorrow (Thursday) at 12 noon, and we’ll announce the winner right after, giving you plenty of time to finalize your weekend plans.

To help you in your decision and ALSO to give you a little morning eye candy, check out the D.C. United roster.

Ladies Night is seriously going to be a full of hot soccer boys, so let the voting begin! You may even have the chance to meet your dream boat in person, as several players are expected to make appearances at the pre-game party!

naked sushi
Originally uploaded by John Sexton

Thanks to Angie Goff, who wrote about naked sushi coming to DC. I had heard of such things but always imagined it was a myth. However, Goff writes:

I remember going to events like this when I lived in LA! Nyataimori, Also known as ‘Naked Sushi’ is Sushi art on a woman’s body, came from the ancient Japanese culture, where Tokyo is world famous for this type of dinner theater and art practice. It happens this Friday the 21st, 2009 11:30pm-Midnight with Legendary Sushi Chef Niki Shimasaki (Dragonfly) at Current Lounge located at 1215 Conneticut Ave, NW DC. RSVP/ Table – litonevents@gmail.com // 703.930.0338

One big drawback I see is that I imagine the sushi will not be vegetarian. But what do you think – should sushi be served on naked women? Maybe I am old-fashioned but this seems rather exploitive. Would you go to a naked woman sushi party?

Me, I don’t even go to parties with strippers when invited by friends. You?

‘A Dandy Night for a Cruise’
courtesy of ‘Samer Farha’

Ordinarily, Baltimore shenanigans are rather outside the geographic scope of this site, but I hope you’ll agree that in this case, the Hilarity Exemption is in play. (And if not, please scroll on by, this will only take a minute.)

Maryland state delegate Jon S. Cardin (delegate from Baltimore County, and nephew of US Senator Ben Cardin) recently decided to surprise his lady love with a marriage proposal on a boat ride. He asked the Baltimore marine police to do what Del. Cardin describes as “a five-minute safety check,” but what the Baltimore Sun describes as more like a raid, complete with hovering police helicopter, during which which officers “searched” the boat for contraband, before finding a box which contained the engagement ring. (She said yes, in case you were wondering.)

Unsurprisingly, the delegate is experiencing some backlash for this use of police resources to create ambience for his proposal. Del. Cardin, if I may offer some advice, your neighbors down here in DC can help you with this. Marion Barry can tell you ALL ABOUT misappropriating public resources for your love life.

‘Michelle Rhee’
courtesy of ‘Center for American Progress’

DC Superintendent of Schools Michelle Rhee, CEO of the Center for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington Melanie Sloan and Georgetown Professor and Media Analyst Donna Brazile are two DC figures that grace the first ever Oprah Power List, designed to feature 20 strong women figures, and DC’s fortunate to have 3 of them. Awesome!

Secret Service Tagged My Ride
Originally uploaded by carlweaver

Another day of the long line of cars turning onto 29th Street to be poked, prodded and sniffed by the Secret Service and my reward? A Secret Service gang tag. Yesterday they marked my car with the X and, since I rarely wash my car, it was still there this morning when I went through, so they gave me an O to go along with it. Two easily identifiable marks.

I don’t know, my friendly, clean-cut Secret Service pals. If you are trying to do gang tags, you might take a tip or two from our MS-13 members over in Arlington and Fairfax. They know how to tag stuff. At least I didn’t get harassed about anything like taking pictures, not that I whipped out my Brownie Hawkeye during the cavity search. Maybe at lunch I will get a few shots of the activity.

‘Lady of the Night’
courtesy of ‘M.V. Jantzen’

The tickets – the hot soccer boys are not for sale – to this Saturday night’s second D.C. United Ladies Night are expected to sell out soon. D.C. United will be playing the LA Galaxy, which means Beckham (hot or not? you make the call) is expected to make a full appearance.

While Ladies Night is of course open to members of the opposite sex, the night will again feature music, complimentary manicures, wine tasting, product samples and demonstrations. However, you will need to dish out an additional $15 to enjoy the Ladies Night party, which does include complimentary pre-game beverages and snacks.

Get the full details on D.C. United’s Ladies Night site.

‘vroom’
courtesy of ‘erin m’

The Washington Business Journal reports  that the city is now going to require any operation running valet service more than once to get a permit and pay the city for the spaces used. At $0.50 per hour per 20 feet of curb space – plus the going rate for any blocked-off meters – it’s not terribly prohibitive. The big question is, to me, what were they paying before? The obvious implication is “nothing.” I’d call this an improvement – if the quantity of street parking is diminished by someone operating a valet service then they certainly should compensate us (ie, the city) for it.

Also interesting in the D.C. code (1606.1) is the limit on anyone running an ongoing valet to “not park motor vehicles anywhere in the public space, including, but not limited to, on-street parking, on alleys, metered parking spaces, and areas designated as Residential Permit Parking zones.”

I feel like I see valets parking cars in street spaces all the time. Is that just me?

‘tip’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

It’s always nice to be number one, isn’t it? The American Chemical Society reported a study that found that 95% of bills circulating in DC are tainted with cocaine. That’s only up 5% from the national average, but, hey, it does put us in the lead.

This study jumps 20% ahead of a 2007 study which found that 67% of U.S. bills were tainted with cocaine. The major percentage jump surprises some researchers (and um, anyone with a wallet?) and brings into question whether the driving factor behind the recent results was the new testing equipment or increased cocaine usage caused by the recession.

The study claims that the drugs get on paper money in three ways. The obvious one: snorting cocaine powder. The dubious one: during drug transactions. And the dirty one: by touching other bills. This means that cocaine powder has infiltrated all of your bills, not just your Benjamins.

While you have a 95% chance of finding cocaine in your wallet at this very moment, the concentatrations are too small for anything very exciting.  There should be just enough in there for bragging rights that DC is number one.

unmounted
Originally uploaded by philliefan99

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is visiting DC and is apparently kicking up his heels in the wake of Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhall. So Mubarak is staying at the Four Seasons, from what I understand, and people are super worried that he is in danger, on account he says he wants peace in the Middle East but is really unwilling to do much to facilitate that. Also, troubles at home make for uneasy traveling while abroad. On the other hand, I understand he likes his espresso without the ice, thus freeing the Secret Service from protecting him from a solid punch in his man junk.

In the meantime, if you need to traverse 29th Street NW between M Street and K Street, I recommend either rethinking those plans or else get in the long line of cars facing east on K Street, waiting to turn left onto 29th. Be prepared to pop your trunk and hood and have a German Shepherd sniff around your vehicle. He’s a cute dog but don’t pet him unless you want to be eaten by him.

‘The Primary Defenders Go To CPAC’ (Tom DeLay, Center)
courtesy of ‘VictoryNH: Protect Our Primary’

I frequently get the feeling that residents of the Greater DC area are the only people who recognize Members of Congress on the street. I mean, do most people know what their own Representative looks like, let alone someone else’s?  But without trotting out that old “Hollywood for Ugly People” canard, I think it’s fair to say that Washington celebrities are not everyone else’s celebrities.

Which is why it tickles me to no end when those celebrity worlds collide: Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) is going to be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars. Oh yeah, baby. (He’s photo/bio number 16 in that gallery.)